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Prohibition
504 East Colfax Avenue
Denver, CO
80203
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 8:00 pm]
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Funny Like a Clown
Please don't call me Matt. I hate that.

Every Quizmaster worth his or her salt wants to get at least one good laugh per night (at least I assume so, maybe some sick bastards are aiming for actual tears or howls of pain) but I was a little sad to hear what would be one of the biggest laughs of the night during the first question because it contained the word “milquetoast”. I mean, I get it; it’s a funny word, but I think we should reserve our belly laughs for broader, better, more topical humor - like my repeated refusals to use his actual name, and only referring to Trump as “shitbag”. You could also be excused for laughing at my night-long (life-long) problems with pronunciation,
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In a perfect world he would Quiz Monday-Friday and spend the weekend building stupid old cars, but in this imperfect world he only gets to Quiz once a week and he doesn't even have a driver's license. He is working on the formula for making that perfect world happen, but until then you'll just have to settle for that one night a week.

When no otherwise preoccupied with work or shit like that you can find him cursing at the Rockies game on the vintage radio in his garage while he pretends to be productive with a bike or some such, or just walking around.

If you want to give him a gift his favorite things in the world are anything vintage, baseball-related, or Italian. He also accepts cash.


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Parlor and Yard
601 W 6th St
Austin, TX
78701
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 8:00 pm]
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Yes It Is a Really Sweet Tattoo
Kavi Kardoshian

I guess the most obvious thing to mention about last night's quiz is that our winners, The Milquetoast Croods, were one measly point away from a perfect score. A hundred and three points out of a possible hundred and four. That is wild, man. Even wilder? The question they missed was the very last one on the entire quiz. The last point on a four-point question. Afghanistan. They wrote Iraq. So fucking close. I've never actually seen The Croods, but I assume it's some sort of coming-of-age tale that centers on a family of Neanderthals or something. Cavemen of some kind. Perhaps they encounter dinosaurs and mammoths, because
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Parlor & Yard, Mondays @ 8pm

Independence Brewing, Thursdays @ 7pm

Black Star Co-Op, Sundays @ 8pm (SK)


Kavi hails originally from Houston, home of the 2017 World Series champion Astros. No, that isn't a rainbow tattooed on her left arm. Show some fucking respect.


Quiz with Kavi if you enjoy the odd dick joke, injections of personal bias into questions related to the GOP and waxing poetic about the various interpersonal relationships at play during the recording of Fleetwood Mac's Rumours.


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Neil's Bahr
2006 Walker St
Houston, TX
77003
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 8:00 pm]
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PGo Won't Die on my Watch... or Phone...
L

Would you guys believe me if I told you that fall starts in a month? I wouldn't. I'm still melting away the end of July under the safe air conditioned cover of a lovely dive bar. I'm glad you joined me this evening for quiz! We had a lot of new faces, and I can't say enough how much I love your company! Please come back and play with us again! That being said- I did notice that team yellow had a strong hold on the gym all through quiz. That's right, I can use my phone but you can't- I already have all the answers! I fought my hardest, but I've come to the conclusion that y'all just have more free time than I ever will. Or you live by a pokestop. You probably just live by a pokestop.
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I started quizzing way back in 2009 in a little 'ol town called Austin, TX. After making the move to Houston, I became a regular quizzer at Little Woodrow's Rice Village on Tuesday nights. It's more fun to win when you're beating grad students and doctors. A year went by, and I grew into quite the quiz addict. It was time to up the ante. I needed to be closer to the quiz action. At the auditions, I fought other contestants to the death to achieve an unexpected, well-fought victory. I now host Monday and Tuesday evenings while drinking delicious beer to forget the things I did to get here.

Before my quiz life, I attended school in San Antonio, where I became an English major and a rabid Spurs fan. During the day I work as a private tutor and professional taco slinger. When not engaged in any of these wonderful occupations, you'll find me buried in a book somewhere or out and about with my Australian Shepherd, Jam. I can even be spotted playing quiz on a Wednesday or Thursday. I can't quit you, quiz.

Join me for all my hosting smart-assery at Neil's Bahr Monday nights in East Downtown or in Rice Village at Little Woodrow's on Tuesdays. 


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Hawthorne Hideaway
2221 SE Hawthorne Blvd
Portland, OR
97214
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 8:00 pm]
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It's Okay, I'll Just Drink More Vodka
Lisa Pizza

Whoo boy, last night was fun. However, I really wonder how I've managed to remain alive for so long. When considering the amount of vodka I had last night, and the amount of sleep I had the night before, and hell, even the amount of sleep I got last night, I'd say I'm very impressed with myself. LET'S DO IT AGAIN. SURE, maybe I can't say "Matairie," but I can work a bunch and do some homework and then drink a bunch and then repeat. WITHOUT DYING. Erm, so far. I mean, I really am super tired. But, SURE, maybe I can't say "Slidell" or "Waukesha" or "Lancaster" right, but you bet your cute little asses that I was not wrong about "Wilkes-Barre" or "Nene." Eat
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Be my Facebook friend so I can appear popular, well-liked, and well-adjusted.
It me!

Also, maybe like...come to quiz.
Hawthorne Hideaway/M/8PM
Ground Kontrol/Tu/8PM


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Fuzzy's Taco Shop (Formerly Hefley's)
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, Jul 21, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Strictly Less Than One
WillSalerno

Quiz runs on fucks, but how many? The best thing about Fuzzy’s quiz is that everyone involved gives the exact right number of fucks. Quizzers will argue a wrong answer or correct my pronunciation, but not ruin anyone’s good time over it. Fuzzy’s staff will get you your drinks, but you get your own damn food. And your quizmaster will get you through a fair and equitable quiz in under 2 hours without any nonsense like dance-offs or rules lawyering. So what is that number of fucks? Do we give a fuck? Is that the opposite of giving no fucks? When we hear
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At age 5, Will decided he wanted to be a scientist.

At age 29, Will became a scientist.

At age 30, Will realized he never wanted to be a scientist, he wanted to be in Starfleet.

At age 31, Will determined Starfleet was not an option.

Will is currently pursuing a career as a Time Lord.


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Pasquini's Pizzeria
1310 S Broadway
Denver, CO
80210
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
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Adulting is Hard
Jose

I had to get my vehicle fixed recently. Nothing major, just an oil change and some brakes. Unfortunately for me though, I'm unlucky. The damage to my wallet hasn't been terrible, largely due to my being friends with the mechanic I go to, but I've now spent over a day trying to get this fixed. He did everything he could and it mostly seems alright now, but it's still not quite right. Of course, my car is about 20 years old now, but I can't help it. I simply don't care for most modern vehicles. I find them lacking in style and they don't feel as durable to me. I prefer vehicles made out of metal, not plastic. Of course on that note my vehicle has developed some delightful rust, or as I prefer
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Lover of IPAs, video games, comic books, and bass guitar. I spent most of my youth one day dreaming of leaving Colorado. As I've aged I've spent an equal amount of time wondering how people live anywhere other than Colorado.


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Front Range Brewing Company
400 West South Boulder Road #1650
Lafayette, CO
80026
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
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I Couldn't Actually Tell You That WASN'T What Cool Hand Luke Was About
QuizMaster Mike

When I was preparing for last night’s quiz and going over the questions, I got to round 6 and thought to myself, “self, people are either going to love this round, or you will be chased from the venue while dodging pint glasses aimed at your head.”  I was pretty relieved to see that it was primarily the former, though certainly felt some pity for those hang-dog quizzers shuffling up to my table turning in empty or completely incorrect answer sheets.  You’ll get ‘em next time, sluggers.   I always felt kind of bad about how the Sega Dreamcast thing worked out in the late 90’s/early 2000’s.  That console was actually
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Jack Quinn's Irish Alehouse & Pub
21 S. Tejon St.
Colorado Springs, CO
80903
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 8:00 pm]
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We Still Ain't Right. Or Left. Or Something.
RobotNarwhal

We live in strange times indeed.  All of a sudden, I’ve got a device on my wrist that counts how far I walk and what my heart is doing, and as a kicker, it buzzes to alert me when I get a phone call on that other device that’s in my pocket.  You know, the one that has 12 times more memory that my first $2,000 computer, takes pictures, makes phone calls, accesses an atlas of THE WORLD, amid myriad other things.  I can deposit checks and pay my bills from my phone.  I haven’t touched a check register in years.  Some of you probably don’t even know what a check register is.  Now, half the universe is wandering around in a stupor “catching”
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Jessica has two of the greatest jobs ever: QMMF, and drinking beer for a living.  We are not even kidding.  She also enjoys movies, Science Fiction, rock and roll, taking longs walks on any available tropical beach, and slowly vying for world domination.  She's an irritating optimist with an existential bend, and is a fan of tattoos that include punctuation marks and/or robots.  She has an unhealthy obsession with whales, and although she kinda prefers humpbacks, narwhals are pretty damn cute.  And don't even get her started on belugas.


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Brass Tap, The (The Rim)
17619 La Cantera Pkwy. Ste. 2-208
San Antonio, TX
78257
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 8:00 pm]
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I Hereby Accept Your Nomination As Quizmaster
Mumbles Jones

A week ago, a loud, angry man was nominated to be president. Today, a lawbreaking insider was nominated to be president. What a time to be alive. Yes, the election is upon us, with the word “presumptive” no longer being used. I assume that most of you vote democrat, because you have, y’know, brains. But it amazes me the fault lines that have been formed thanks to social media over the last few months. Mild-mannered coworkers have turned into hardcore Republicans by sharing memes that I’d never seen before. Fellow quizmasters have tuned into SJWs (yes, I hate that term too). I mean, I get that we all have a stake in this grand experiment called America. And we
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I enjoy reading and long walks on the beach. I've been around and seen a few places and done a few things. Even after all that, my wife/scorekeeper still liked me enough to put a ring on it.


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McLadden's (Northampton)
27 Pleasant Street
Northampton, MA
01060
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 8:30 pm]
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Berning Bridges
Mike

Another week, another convention, another ulcer caused by a convention, and another quiz to assist in drinking until the world goes away. All things considered, your liver probably wishes you had come out for the quiz, and you certainly would have lost fewer brain cells. That's right, during an election year, Geeks Who Drink is the healthy alternative!*   [*This statement has not been evaluated by the FDA, nor has it been endorsed by any doctors or public health advocates; QM Mike just made it up, and he is not trustworthy]   In the end, we had a clear winner, but there
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Corner Pub
14565 Allen West Road
Bow, WA
98232
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
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Something Something Wedding Nonsense
Master Moose

In tonight's first round there was a question about an obsolete device that just stopped being produced. I wasn't terribly surprised that no one knew that it was a VCR. I was under the impression they stopped being made a decade ago, so I have to wonder; who has been buying them this whole time? Is there honestly an entire group of people who don't know about garage sales and second hand stores? In the second round Taco Dogs had a nearly perfect score (for which I'm surprised they did not play their joker). The only song they, along with everyone else, did not know was 'Kick Out With the Jams' by MC5. I still don't know who that is, but I'm assuming they're
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In the year 1900 Seamus was accused of a crime he didn't commit. He then requisitioned Nikola Tesla to build a device that would send him to 2013 to find the answers and clear his name. You are those answers.


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Hop Creek
3253 BROWNS VALLEY RD
Napa, CA
94558
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 8:00 pm]
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Wink your way to the Top ;)
Kevin aka Comicfan66

We had 17 teams! That’s the second highest turn out we’ve had! Thanks for everyone for being so supportive and continuing to come out.  We also were able to move my location, in order for the speaker to reach everyone much better. Looks like everyone could hear me much better. So hopefully that problem is resolved. Teams started drawing emojis on their sheets. Most of them were the winking emoiji , so that was amusing. Teams trying to wink their way to the top as it were. :p Round 6 was particularly difficult round, considering that in Round 6, you had to name movie titles that were described by someone who hadn’t seen them. You really had to think about
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Enthusiastic geek who looks like he's probably 15 years old. Oh yeah, I also who loves comics, movies, TV shows, and books.


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Yen Ha Restaurant and Lounge
6820 NE Sandy Blvd
Portland, OR
97213
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Sundays @ 7:00 pm]
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
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Three dog fight!
Elijah

While some people prefer a good ol' battle royale, a triple threat match can be equally deadly.This quiz hit the ground running, with all teams smashing into the quiz early on. Every team had some perfect rounds, efficient jokering, and witty responses.Rarely have I seen such quiz mastery... Unfortunately the QM wasnt quite as on par, as I had computer issues that made me switch round two and three while I got the audio problem repaired, but the teams slogged on with nary a complaint to be heard. It was a smashing good time with the great frog society and book drunkards leading the fight, but 3-D Bang nipping at their heels all the way.
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Grimm Brothers Brewhouse
623 Denver Avenue
Loveland, CO
80537
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
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Scott's Momma Is So...
Katy

What up my home slices?  Not too much new here, but we did have another kick-ass quiz last night.  We started with a recently in stuff round, which was thankfully Trump free.  I don’t know about you guys but I would be perfectly happy to never hear anyone talk about Trump again.  In round two the first letter of each song title spelt out a super-secret and special message not safe for all audiences.  In round three I butchered different city names and you got to guess what state they were in.  My favorite round of the night was round 6, “Hit Movies, as Described By Someone Who Hasn’t Seen Them.” It was really fun to hear the teams giggle
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I am a domestic zoo keeper (I keep my kids alive) living in Loveland, and quizzer recently turned quizmaster.


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Bull Feeney's
375 Fore Street
Portland, ME
04101
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 8:00 pm]
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Don't Make Fun
Krister

We’re closing in on the big unveiling of the beach coolers, Jameson glasses and shot glasses. It happens next week. BEFORE tonight, the leaders of the pack were Gene Belcher’s Porsche Cayenne with 82 points, followed by Rural Jurors (again, these two teams have some of my FAVORITE names), then My Personal Favorites and J&J are tied at 73. But after tonight?! WHO KNOWS! (Me. I do. I know. Stay tuned and I’ll update you). We were joined once again by some European quizsters! This
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Spats
1974 Shattuck Ave,
Berkeley, CA
94704
Monday, Jul 25, 2016
[Mondays @ 8:00 pm]
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Assbags and other pronunciation problems
QM Rockjaw

Hello, quizzers! We returned last night as the prophecy foretold to Spats, Home of the Tatcho, for another night of frenzied quizzing. A lovely, bouncy crowd was out in force with plenty of new faces to go around, which I always love to see, along with plenty of familiar ones too. Welcome one and all! Now, to get serious. Let's talk about pronunciation. (Also, let's make sure the word's spelled correctly.) It's important, folks. You have to understand what I'm saying, otherwise the quiz doesn't work. And generally, you know, that's fine. Except for those times when the words conspire against me. Or the English accent trips me up. Case in point: round one. The phrase - presented
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Writer of stuff, professional community-type, Brit in the US, geek of many colo(u)rs, definite cat person and podcaster. I love movies, nerdy pop culture, games (board and video!) and procrastination. My only claim to Geeks Who Drink fame is that I won. Once. Years ago.