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Gaslamp Bar & Grill
1315 NW Mall St
Issaquah, WA
98027
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
[Tuesday's @ 7:30 pm]
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Rule 1: Don’t Mess with the Quiz Master
The Fortress

I start my quiz with that rule every week, and after and less than happy experience that I let slide; now when I say I mean it!  I don’t mean to start my quiz on a negative note (so I’ll get this out and quickly move on) but if you’re telling jokes during the quiz, 1) make sure they’re funny and 2) make sure the whole crowd is in the moment. Anything that doesn’t fall within those two categories is considered heckling…or being a jerk and is in explicit violation of rule number one.       Now that we’ve
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Yeah, well what can I say about myself...A LOT! 

But I won't. I'm just your regular quiz-mistressing chick on in the city. Sounds like a million dollar sitcom idea to me. 

Actually QM's are more of 250K reality show idea on MTV. My show would be akin to Jersey Shore, but no fist pumping or pregnant short people. 

...but back to me. I'm called The Fortress...no idea why though, so come out and see me in action and maybe we can come up with some ideas why together! 


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Moe's BBQ (Englewood)
3295 S Broadway
Englewood, CO
80113
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
[Tuesday's @ 8:00 pm]
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Rainy Days and Tuesdays always get me down.
Kent Shelton

Here it is. Another Tuesday night on South Broadway. It's raining, there is thunder, there is lightning, and hail seems likely. For the past four weeks this is been the scenario. Bad weather Tuesdays. Tornado Tuesdays. Flood Alert Tuesdays. The weekly washout.   When I walked into Moe’s tonight the place was packed. Wall to window, no room to move. People eating meat, drinking beer, and having a gay old time. Laughter, chicken wings, loud music, dudes ordering shots. I thought to myself, "This is going to be a great quiz". I unpacked my quiz gear.                        
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My old rival and best friend Appollo Creed was recently killed in the ring by a monsterous Russian boxer named Ivan Drago. I must avenge his death.

No matter how hard I must train, no matter where I must go, I will make Drago pay.


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The Three Lions Pub (Bothell)
10111 Main St
Bothell, WA
98011
Monday, May 25, 2015
[Monday's @ 7:00 pm]
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Rule 1: Don’t Burp Directly into the Microphone
The Fortress

Sort of move the mic a little but look directly to the crowd. Anywho I had a good time filling in for Chris this final week. While I enjoy the set up at my regular bar,  I have to say that this is a sweet set up. I can see everyone and I have a whole table to score and do my Quiz Master official business.       Chris will be back next Monday and I’m sure he’s looking forward to seeing all of his regulars again. Let’s run down the highlights!      
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Yeah, well what can I say about myself...A LOT! 

But I won't. I'm just your regular quiz-mistressing chick on in the city. Sounds like a million dollar sitcom idea to me. 

Actually QM's are more of 250K reality show idea on MTV. My show would be akin to Jersey Shore, but no fist pumping or pregnant short people. 

...but back to me. I'm called The Fortress...no idea why though, so come out and see me in action and maybe we can come up with some ideas why together! 


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Local Burger
10134 Main St
Bellevue, WA
98004
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
[Tuesday's @ 7:30 pm]
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The One With Kofta
Quizmaster Kris

With Tabitha off in Portland she called upon me to take the reins at Local Burger and show you all how awesome Tabitha is at hosting. Seriously though, you guys were great and I'll host out at the 'ol LB anytime you guys will have me.   Round One, Recently In Stuff, started off the night real well for most teams, with most teams getting 7 or 8 points. Round Four also gave most of you a confidence boost as all but one team got at least 7 points in the round on Obsessions.   After missing only 3 points through round six, We Don't Even Go Here cruised to a dominant victory. Summer is Coming and Names Are Hard
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  1. If you could be one for just 24 hours, what cereal box cartoon character would you be? Why?
    • Horratio Magellan Crunch (Captain Crunch). "Look at me, I'm the captain now"
  2. If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick?
    • Rain Man, because I feel it's about where my acting skills are at.
  3. You were just given a yacht. What would you name it?
    • The Vulcanized Mallard (Rubber Ducky)
  4. If a movie was being made of your life and you could choose the actor/actress to play you, who would you choose and why?
    • Jonah Hill. Because, Jonah Hill.
  5. If you were to be on a reality TV show which one would you be on and why?
    • Amazing Race. I love to travel and I think I could make a serious run for the money.
  6. 2%, 1% or skim milk?
    • According to Ron Swanson, Skim Milk is water lying about being milk.
  7. Mayonnaise or Miracle Whip?
    • Mayo, because Miracle Whip is of the devil.
  8. If you could have a condiment dispensed from your navel, what would it be?
    • Ranch dressing... it would be so convenient and delicious.


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Rhein Haus
912 12th Ave
Seattle, WA
98122
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
[Tuesday's @ 9:00 pm]
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Rhein Haus L: Chanoc und Sohn Santo vs. die Killer Vampire
KyleSmith

An intense back-and-forth here at Rhein Haus, making it your average Tuesday night here at America’s Germany. Coming in first were beloved regulars E=MC Hammer^2, taking it in the final round with an amazing effort. It should be noted that they were the only team to correctly identify Mean Streets in the video round. As if you hadn’t already won a significant portion of my heart… Coming in behind them was the lovely trio, McDeaLing. Congrats on the second place prize! Behind them, the delightful duo, Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, newcomers to our game, but I hope
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Name: Kyle
Bust: Whatever number it may be, it brings the boys to the yard
Waist: 30-32
Hips: Adequate for birthing
Height: 5’7”
Weight: 180 or so
Birthdate: 29 March 1981
Birthplace: Edmonds, WA
Ambition: To be a finely-honed instrument of quizmastery
Turn-ons: Black-and-white cinematography, gaming of the board or video variety, sabermetrics, karaoke, playing softball, alcohol in its many forms
Turnoffs: People who cheat at pub quizzes, anti-subtitle fanatics and other types of fascists, Christopher Nolan movies
Greatest strength: Jackassery
Makes you laugh the hardest: Hearing Zack Snyder called a "visionary director"
Cake or death: Cake, I guess
Biggest fear: That maybe Morrissey isn't "so sorry"


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Maher's Pub
352 B Avenue
Lake Oswego, OR
97034
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
[Tuesday's @ 8:00 pm]
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Now we're getting somewhere!
Cassifrrrr

You guys just keep getting better and better!In this week's edition of "Showing up for quiz 4 hours early with Cass" we try the Dancing Leprechaun cocktail (omfgyes) and get schooled in fertility by a woman of 84. I learned, that the 50 year old women in her child's age group are "going in their menopauses" and have shriveled up into frigid bitches unsuitable for her bright eyed ball saggin' boy.So Mama's recruitin'. If you know any fertile bright women between the ages of "legal consent" and oh my god I cant even make this a joke Im so turned off by my own youth tonight... GUYS YOU CAME BACK..!That sweet couple from two
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I like long walks into the glen, firing arrows into the sunset, cream cheese in my scrambled eggs, starting every week off with The Who, and ending the night with The Thong Song.


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The Shamrock Bar & Grille
117 West Main Street
Madison, WI
53703
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
[Tuesday's @ 8:00 pm]
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It's Summer in Antartica
Darth Gargamel

Let's try this again. The last time I wrote this it wouldn't save. This one won't be as good as the last one. The quiz. If it's 500 degrees in Antarctica we're all dead. No one knows who just came to say hello. I warned them about D'Artagnan but they didn't listen. I was amazed on how none of them missed a beat on First Lady's. Couldn't say that about their insistence regarding Hurt Locker. In the end despite leading the game the Fruedian Slippers lost out to The Big Fact Hunt. Till next time.
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Couple things about me: I'm a man, and that means I do man things. I shit with the door open, I go on riverboat gambling trips, I make my own jerky. And now all of that is wrecked!

I lied. Not one of those things is true, but if it impresses you lets stick with it. I'll tell you something that is true though. Clint Eastwood once gave me the finger. True story.

Other things......I enjoy the color blue. I'm right handed, so I've got that going for me. I cannot say the alphabet backwards, even when I'm drunk. Which is a lot. Also I've never been to Oregon. My dreams are but three: 1. To appear on Jeopardy. Cause if we aren't here for trivia, what's it all for? 2. To appear on Drunk History. I got my degree and history, and thus far it's proved useless. Appearing on that show would make it all worth while. 3. To have a sandwich named after me. Who needs a kid sharing your name when you can have a sandwich.

 

Also I enjoy Pinky and the Brain cartoons, and if you talk shit about them or request that I play Kanye music during the game, your team starts with negative 50 points. Your call man.

 

 


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Spud Monkey's
17312 NE Halsey St
Portland, OR
97230
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
[Tuesday's @ 7:00 pm]
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It’s Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Sum-Mer
Roy G. Biv

  We finished before dusk tonight. That makes the drive out to the east so worth it. Seeing the dim reds set behind the coast range on my drive home is pretty sweet. The drive to Spud Monkey’s was a different story tonight. I don’t know what the hell the police were doing down on Powell Blvd tonight, but it almost made me late for quiz. Luckily I’ve taken enough tips from Grand Theft Auto V to know how to maneuver a police blockade.     In other unrelated things, have you seen that new Point Break trailer? Looks terrible! Don’t soil
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Just a spaz standing on a soap box.