Attila the Huh?

Published February 23, 2022

A statue of Attila the Hun.

"The ear flaps are too much, right?" (Wikimedia Commons)

Trying to find Attila the Hun’s burial place isn’t as easy as hitting up Find a Grave. Although the self-described “best place on the internet to look for final disposition information” does have an entry for Attila, the burial location is listed as “Body Buried in Secret.” 

Attila, whose cuddly nickname was “The Scourge of God,” is believed to have died in 453 B.C., and the circumstances of his death are still being debated by historians who have to be totally bored with talking about it. (More on that in a sec.) According to History.com, the leader of the Huns was buried by his soldiers inside what was basically the turducken of coffins; he was placed inside a gold casket that was dropped into one of silver, and that was surrounded by one of iron. His grave is believed to be somewhere in modern-day Hungary, but no one has ever managed to locate it. 

One widely acknowledged account of Attila’s death, written by the circa-6th century historian Jordanes, said that the Scourge of God died on his wedding night — one of his many, many wedding nights — by choking on the blood from either a nasty nosebleed or a burst blood vessel. When his body was discovered the next morning, his newest bride was crying beside him. There are other theories too, including a suggestion that his latest wife actually offed him; that he was assassinated by his enemies; or that it was just what happens when you binge on…everything that’s placed in front of you. 

So sleep tight, safe in the knowledge that, unlike Attila the Hun you probably won’t drown in a gushing river of your own blood. Good night! 


A version of this story appeared on the news page of Questionist’s parent company, Geeks Who Drink.

Featured image: Márk Kálti, Public Domain