If it’s one thing we do well at Geeks Who Drink, it’s harebrained goofiness. For example, take this post. We were looking at this week’s Video Rewind, which involves a recent video round about TV shows that used the common trope of a character juggling two dates at the same time. Well, one of the shows is the O.G. “Quantum Leap,” which recently got a revival this year. That new series started with a pilot episode titled, “July 13th, 1985.” You know who was born on that exact date? Mexican goalkeeper Guillermo Ochoa, that’s who. After learning that knowledge, we totally wrote up a 2022 World Cup preview. Enjoy!
The World Cup kicks off from Qatar on Sunday with what promises to be a solidly mediocre match between the hosts and Ecuador — the two lowest-ranked teams in the entire tournament. The tournament itself is going to fall somewhere between weird and infuriating, what with its unorthodox place on the calendar, its attempts to appease both its sponsors and the Qatari royal family, the host country’s grim human rights record, and the fact that Harry Maguire still plays for England.
But because it’s a World Cup, there will be unnecessary pageantry and unnecessary drama, and that’s just from Cristiano Ronaldo. With his (inevitable) selection for Portugal’s team, the eternally petulant 37-year-old will be appearing in his fifth World Cup. Three other players will join him in that rarified Five Cup Club: undersized Argentinian GOAT Leo Messi (as an aside, we here at Geeks rate Messi ahead of Ronaldo, and no, we won’t be taking questions at this time); midfielder and Mexico captain Andrés Guardado; and longtime Mexico goalkeeper Guillermo “Memo” Ochoa.
Guardado and Ochoa will be doing their best to break Mexico’s ongoing World Cup curse this year. El Tri have qualified for all eight World Cups that have been held since 1994, and in seven of those, they’ve been knocked out in the Round of 16. (As for what happens in the eighth, we’ll find out between next week and mid-December.)
Although winning Mexico’s first World Cup seems like incentive enough on its own, an OnlyFans model has tried to give Ochoa a bit of extra motivation. According to (sigh) The Sun, Wanda Espinosa has promised to, uh, “take [him] so hard” that he’ll either forget about winning the World Cup or forget about not winning it or forget about getting booted out in the second round again. (And all of this is probably news to Ochoa’s wife.)
ANYWAY! Let’s all just settle in for a month’s worth of international football. May the best team win or whatever.
Oh yeah, don’t forget to check out the Video Rewind: