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The Canterbury Ale House
534 15th Ave E
Seattle, WA
98112
[Wednesday 7:00 pm]
Wednesday, Apr 05, 2017

Scores

Bittersweet Mug Club
92
Scrub-Ass Doofuses
87
Appalachian Tendencies
86
Sex House
70
The Triumvirate
68
Gaping Capers
68
Pepsi Brutality
65
Legally Bombed
64
The Coastal Elites
63
God Save the Queen
59
Zombiemetrics
59
Pawnee Goddesses
58
Three Men and No Baby
56
Today He is a Man
51
Princess Consuela Bananahammock
47
Winchester
34
Wolverines
9
Sponge Bath
6
Taylor Spills
4
Quiz Venue Logo

Ugh, I Really Hate George Springer

Cap'n Brendan

How about that Mariners game last night? I waited until pretty much the last possible minute to talk about it here in this blog, hoping that the sting of that walk-off loss would fade. But no, of course, it didn’t. And now here I sit, watching the Mariners down 2-1 to the Astros as they’ve loaded the bases with no outs in the bottom of the 5th. So it should go without saying that, yep, same shit different game.

Springer even led off tonight’s game the same way he finished last night’s, homering to that stupid fucking short porch in Left Field. Last night’s 3-run blast was a dinger in Houston. It would have been a fly out in the other 29 MLB parks.  Sounds about right. Thing is, we’ve had atrocious luck so far this year. There’s no analytical evidence that being abysmal with runners in scoring position is a repeatable skill, and not just a fluke of unfortunate sequencing. There’s no historical evidence that a Marianas Trench low BABIP translates to a Mendoza Line batting average over 162 games.

The hits will start falling in. They’ll start clustering together, too. George Fucking Springer will not keep hitting home runs to the short porch in left every game. He also won’t keep catching line drives he’s lost in the lights as he falls over. These Mariners aren’t this bad. And these Astros shouldn’t be this good. It sucks that our entire sample size of the 2017 Mariners has been these last 3 ½ games, but that’s what’s great about baseball: If you don’t like last night’s game, you only have to wait a day (or occasionally two) for one to wash that foul taste out of your mouth.

Even as I write this, Ariel Miranda somehow managed to escape the jam by getting Jose Altuve to ground into a double play, and Carlos Beltran to line out to 2nd. See, we can do it too! We’ve got 158 ½ games still to go. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. #keepfighting, Mariners!

Looking back on fonder memories of last night, congratulations to the night’s top teams: Bittersweet Mug Club, Scrub-Ass Doofuses, and in next-to-last place Today He is a Man. I’ll see your lovely faces next Wednesday!

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And they'll just keep on reading it forever just because

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