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Bethany Public House
4840 Northwest Bethany Boulevard
Portland, OR
[Tuesday 7:00 pm]
Tuesday, Feb 07, 2017


rose marie's jacket: looking up at the abyss
clever mutts
2 turntables and a fuzzy microphone
purebred pussy
please clap
aussie groupies
kristen sux
the ents
bajoran militia
better then eddie
Quiz Venue Logo

Betsy Will Be DeVostating...just to children is all.


I know you asked me to give you a recap of the wonderful quiz that took place last night, but I’d like to shift the discussion to something that seems to never get covered by the press...quiz-related acts of terror.  That’s right.  I’m tired of it not being talked about, for reasons we all know the press has.  You know, the people that are the most dishonest and terrible people that ever existed in our time.  It’s just gotten ridiculous.  They’d much rather talk about perfectly legal, fantastic, some people are saying the most fantastic, quiz-ecutive orders; things that will completely protect our quizzes that are currently, right as we speak, well as I type, that are completely being overrun by bad people...they’re just pouring in folks.  And no one wants to talk about that.  I never hear anything about the millions of terror-adjacent things that are happening around here; now that could be because they’re alternative instances of what you may call “reality”, but that shouldn’t matter here.  And yes I know you just want to hear who won and how it went and how funny I was hosting, but let me just speak to the larger issue here, I mean, no one saying anything anymore about Hillary’s emails.  What’s up with that?  It’s like she never did all the bad stuff she did, just because I’m here now, but i digress… a lot.  Yes, Rose Marie’s Jacket: Looking Up at the Abyss, is not only a “so-called” team, but they are also the winners in this case, although you don’t see anyone on that team thanking me for them winning again, which I said I would make happen, but it’s fine, I’m just going to keep chugging away.  Also can I just say, there have been a lot of really good things that have happened in the last three weeks too, I mean, some people are saying the most good things ever, have been happening, but not a peep on that, huh?  Yes, Clever Mutts, made it back into the money, they’re not winners though, their alternative winners...this is very clear.  These are the facts, I love Fox News, and let’s make quizzes great again.  

Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!