And then there was light. The power was knocked out in the entire strip center our Pub is located during round two. Somehow the audio equipment stayed on for about ten minutes and the teams only missed the repeats of three songs when the audio finally went out. Round three was played completely in the dark and I think someone grabbed my ass! The power kicked back on during the break between three and four, but it would have been kind of fun to kick it stone age for a night. Other than the random power outage, it was the usual enjoyable night of Pub Quiz. Our area was filled with experienced Quiz teams, battling it out for the right to be the Geek Champions for a night.

Pictures!

Rhys and Green scoring the Quiz in the dark.

The bar is usually dark, but with the power completely out, teams had to bust out flashlights for round three.

Pink Taco was just one of the EIGHT names used by this team.

Unicycle Drive By. The guy in the back looks terrified. Don't worry little buddy Stephanie won't hurt you, it's only a beer in her hand.

We now have a Unicycle Stampede to go with our Drive By.

Same team, slightly different moniker, Billy's A Bit Shameless.

Rhys was my bitch, err, trainee for the night. Good luck on Thursday bro.

Ladies, meet That's What Penicillin's For and don't forget to bring prophylactics.

The Mangey Bitches used an early Joker to hang with C'mon Man early, but fell back after a weak eighth round.

Kaylee or the Eric Carmen inspired, one woman team, All By My Say Ayelf.

This is the serious side of Wayne Gretzky Gave Me Herpes...Valtrex!

C'mon Man enjoy beautiful weather on the patio and kicking ass at Quiz.

Yes, that is the real Brian Dennehy from Cocoon. Even famous actors enjoy the Pub Quiz!

Gentleman hide your foreskins, it's The Immaculate Circumcision.

Garret will have an entertaining breakfast tomorrow with his Tic Tac Toast, the E-Mail bonus prize.

Billy was in the back half most of the night, but they handled the pressure and take third.

Unicycle leaps into second with the highest total in round eight.

Six wins in a row for C'mon Man. Can anyone stop them?

Scores

C'mon Man                                     67
Unicycle Drive By                             63
Billy's A Bit Shameless                       57
Unicycle Stampede                             54
The Mangey Bitches                            52
Pink Taco                                     50
That's What Penicillin's For                  48
Wayne Gretzky Gave Me Herpes                  46
The Immaculate Circumcision                   44
Brian Dennehy                                 21
All By My Say Ayelf                           20

When the Sun goes down the Quiz comes up. 8PM, every Tuesday.

Green

It was an intimate Tuesday night at Ashford Arms, with six teams vying for the grand prize in an ultra-competitive pub quiz. It certainly was an exciting and unpredictable night with several teams pulling in and out of the lead during score updates. Our two-week champs Al Gore’s Snowplow Rental started off strong during the first three rounds. However, they didn’t stay at the top for very long, because newcomers Mr. Toad’s Magic Carpet Ride slid into first place after the seventh round. Our Random Knowledge round, however, mixed everything up with many teams saving their Jokers for this 16 point round. In the end, Quiz Moppers secured the first place spot, followed by an amazing comeback by I Don’t Feel Tardy. Special shout out to my dear friend Bout It Bout It who steadfastly remained in last place throughout the game. Freddy Bear, you are such a good friend for coming out to play alone and for letting me publicly humiliate you. You really are bout it bout it!

Pub Quizzers Extraordinaire Al Gore’s Snowplow Rental I’m sure they’ll be back next week to reclaim their throne!

Bout it Bout it with your valiant Quizmadam Kat. I took a picture with him so that the GWD world wouldn’t think he didn’t have any friends

Then I made him take a picture by himself, for the sake of accuracy (just because I like to embarrass him). Ladies, this fella is single and ready to mingle!

These newcomers put up a fantastic fight! Here are the fellas of Mr Toad’s Magic Carpet Ride

Our new champs, Quizmoppers!

Representing Ashford Pub, here’s S+J+J. Apparently, S+J+J=DRUNK

Silver Medalists I Don’t Feel Tardy

The Scores!

Wuiz Moppers			75
I Don’t Feel Tardy		61
Mr Toad’s Magic Carpet Ride	59
S+J+J				59
Al Gore’s Snowplow Rental	57
Bout It Bout It			27

Well...I can not promise that if you come next Tuesday night for our last quiz that you will get laid but you will be a whole lot cooler if you do. People like to have relations with cool people thus increasing your chances of getting lucky.

Last night when I announced the news that next week is the last quiz on Tuesday night and that they are moving the quiz to Saturday night, many of you seemed upset about the move. I must admit I am sad that they are moving it too because I am going to miss you all!!! It would have been a year in April that we have been here on Tuesdays and it has been an absolute blast. I feel like you are a family to me. As a thank you to you all...I want next week to be fun as hell. I am going to go out with a bang. I am going to give away pitures of beer and fun bonus rounds through out the quiz. So bring your thinking caps and drinking caps!!

Enough about the future let's talk about last night. Last night was the first nice weather we have had in a while so we had a great crowd. My favorite team names last night were I Call them Panda Whales but the winner of the free beer was Stevie Wonderbread. The team name She put me in the friend zone, I put her in the rape zone made me glad I have a taser.

Thank you all that participated in the kung fu style dance off. That was amazing to watch!

Congrats to our winners Teachers "Do it" with Class! Crusty Jugglers came in second place and Lady Kanyes in third.

Have a great week see you next week!

Cheers,

Becca

Scores

Teachers  "Do it" with Class		                   70
Crusty Jugglers			                           67
Lady Kanyes			                           64
I Call Them Panda Whales		                   63
Teacherist Splinter Cell		                   63
I Drink Your Breast Milk		                   59
Holy Frijoles		                                   55
Drunk Robots	                                           55
Booty Booty Butt Cheeks Booty Butt Checks		   49
Stevie Wonderbread 		                           43
How I Met Your Trivia Master		                   37
Pirate Lexi and Her Booty		                   27
She put me in the friend zone, I put her in the rape zone  23
Proper Suck	                                           21
Blueberry flavored afternoon delights		           19
Peter Pan 	                                            1

There's nothing like Spring Break to really change the atmosphere of a pub quiz. There were quite a few people tonight who felt the urge to shout out random comments. Lucky for us, as Jill would put it, I was on my A game tonight and no good ridiculous comment went unmatched. That's kind of how we roll. You shout out, "Dolph Lundgren" when I ask a question about colleges, you will be told to focus on the sole task of breathing because it's clear that combined with speaking intelligently is a problem. In the guy's defense, Dolph Lundgren is super cool and the guy was very nice when I talked to him after the quiz.

I'm a bit embarrassed that nobody really knew who Elliott Smith was. He was a phenomenal artist with heartbreaking lyrics and music. You know him from Good Will Hunting and The Royal Tenenbaums, you just don't know it. It's like how you knew Nick Drake's sound but didn't know his name until Zach Braff did Garden State. ;)

A few highlights of the quiz were:

People thinking Jeff Buckley acted and sang with Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart. Mr. Buckley has been dead for quite some time. As I said, that's not happening unless you have some serious smelling salts, pal. Too soon?

The Dolph Lundgren guy winning the bonus question about the film Enchanted, then explaining a girl on the team told him the answer. I hear ya, man, but there is no shame when it comes to free beer. We all have our skeletons in the closet.

I loved a few of the team names. Blue Hot Dogs reminded me of something one of the Avatar aliens would name their penis. Desert Mt. Goats had a great name, because I despise every single other type of goat, clearly, and Tits or Get the Fuck Out is just fun to hear Jill say, though it feels weird when she directs it at a guy like Colin, or any guy, really.

My great friend, Nick, returned from teaching in South Korea and sat in on the quiz. He knows who Elliott Smith is. Haha.

A guy telling me I was much more energetic now that Jill was back. Yeah, that was a factor, and the fact I was hosting last week when I had the flu played a huge part in it, my friend.

Thelma and Louise returned from the dead apparently to finish in first place with 68 points. Quizzical Newton John finished second, scoring 67 points. Dooval Sooks finished third with 64 points, and Chris Duval definitely doesn't suck in reality.

We will see you next Tuesday and may even have a special pre-St. Paddy's Day round or two! Come dressed in Irish attire (which I guess means ya should wear green or make a necklace out of potatoes?) and I will see about giving your team a few extra points. Bam!

Now, pictures to prove we were there!

Check out the scores, yo.

Thelma and Louise                  68
Quizzical Newton John              67
Dooval Sooks                       64
Half and Half                      57
Tits or Get the Fuck Out           55 
The Good, the Bad and You          52
Pub Crawlers                       51
Two Tonic Nights                   51
Playas Making Plays                45
Gerald and Ana                     42
Blue Hot Dogs                      38
Club Nerds                         35
Jeopardy Sell                      35
Bitch, I'm Not a Geek              27
SBOW Is at a BBQ                   25
Desert Mt. Goats                   20
Heathens                           19
The Shockers                        2

So I’ve suddenly found myself with a wealth of things to give away— DVDs, t-shirts, tickets to events, and I’m trying to think of novel and inventive ways to give them out. I tried three tonight.

First was an event I will henceforth call PROST! That’s German for Cheers! The idea behind this game is that three contestants will give their name, toast the crowd, and down a truly rancid shot called a Cement Mixer. What’s a Cement Mixer? Wikipedia defines it as such:

1 part Bailey's Irish Cream
1 part Lime juice (lemon juice may be substituted)

The drink is traditionally ingested by taking the shot of Bailey's, holding it in the mouth, then sipping the lime juice and swirling the two around the mouth. The drink may also be combined as a layered shot, as the lime juice is less dense than most brands of "Irish Cream". The acidic lime juice causes the cream-based Bailey's to curdle. The curdled Bailey's does not taste sour, but it does rapidly gain viscosity and stick to your teeth, reminiscent of cement.
Should I not have done that? The crowd seemed to enjoy it, if our contestants did not. And what did they win? Uhhh, a drink at the Highball bar. Here’s the shaky video taken by my very hand:

Then I had several DVDs to give away, courtesy of my friends at Magnolia Pictures. I asked a brief essay question that related to current local events, specifically concerning our beloved police chief, Art “No Refusal” Acevedo, who is presently trying to get a job running the Dallas police department. I asked what you would like to send from Austin to Dallas. Here were your responses:

Market Price: “I-35 traffic at Rush Hour.”

S & M: “The Domain!”

The Unbirthers: “Everything north of 183… and Sandra Bullock.”

Sinead O’Connor: “The Pope.”

Wicked Awesome: “The stretch of 35 between Riverside and the Split!”

Chix with Dix: “Leslie’s Attacker.”

Those Bitches: “All Californians” – Chip. “The Crackheads at Cap Metro” – Monica. “Pangea” – Robert. “Dallas Nightclub.” – Goose.

Alan Rickman’s Answering Machine: “I would send the Drag Rats to Dallas so they would no longer harass me and try to grab my ass.”

A'pos'trophe C'at'as'trophe: “The shark tank dance floor should keep moving up I-35 (and the bottle service with it).”

Perfect Attendance: “We would like to see Dallas receive back all of the homeless that they allegedly bus down to Austin, or so the Chronicle claims.”

Dead Last: “The grieving-father-prosecuting, divorcing-lesbian-persecuting attorney general… also the Thundercloud commercials.”

In Soviet Russia, Trivia Plays You: “UT Sorostitutes! Sorostitutes = sorority hoes, prostitutes, general slutty, unintelligent ladies belonging thereof.”

The Debasers: “We would like to send A'pos'trophe C'at'as'trophe to Dallas. That’s Lazer’s team, right?”

That last one was your winning response right there from the Debasers. So much love! You’d think that A'pos'trophe (under multiple pseudonyms) are consistently first or second place winners here at the Highball quiz, generating goodwill from our other regular teams by their humble victories. According to the Debasers, they now know the backs of their heads. Scary. Many people take these quizzes seriously. I've seen some with custom jackets, socks and/or spreadsheets.

Anyway, the Debasers won a Timecrimes DVD. Timecrimes is a freaking mind-bendingly superb Spanish language film made by a man who, essentially, has raped James and I (and on separate occasions!). I even have a picture:

The director of Timecrimes, Nacho Vigalondo, is on the right. The man in the middle is named David Roland Strong, and he is kindof a big deal in these parts.

So what else did we do? Oh yes, I had two passes to see Master Pancake Theatre’s mocking of “Goldfinger” playing this weekend and next at the Alamo Drafthouse Village. I brought two participants on stage—one wound up being from the Debasers, the other, sure enough, from their rivals on A'pos'trophe C'at'as'trophe. They were to name, back and forth, as many James Bond movies as they could—here’s video of the event, captured on my camera by my pal Christine:

It cuts off (thanks to my poor memory card budgeting), just as Heather (aka Janice, aka Heather) yields to Matt from The Debasers. Well done.

So, in between we did a quiz, right? A nice turnout and pretty good scores — some of these rounds were hard, yes? I thought so too!

A'pos'trophe C'at'as'trophe your first place winners tonight, will likely need to fill out tax forms the next time they come to the Highball.

The Debasers came in second but, between a DVD, a gift certificate and two passes to a Master Pancake show, arguably walked off with the most loot.

This gentleman is from The Unbirthers, who pulled off what I believe is their highest placing at the Highball yet. We were dressed as twins tonight, but I have the better ratty beard.

They have Perfect Attendance but tonight was not their night. Tara, however, was a trooper tonight as you can see in the PROST video.

Speaking of PROST, your winner was from Boot Hill Bootleggerz. THANKS FOR DRINKING CURDLED LIQUOR CREAM!

Here’s your scores:

A'pos'trophe C'at'as'trophe	75
The Debasers	                65
The Unbirthers	                60
Those Bitches	                53
Wicked Awesome	                50
Chix w/ Dix	                48
In Soviet Russia,
Trivia Plays You	        48
S&M	                        47
Boot Hill Bootleggerz	        47
Market Price	                46
Dead Last	                45
Alan Rickmans Answering Machine	44
Perfect Attendance	        38
Long One In The Wrong One	15
Sinead O'Connor	                 0

I love you, see you in two weeks. Oh, that's right-- no quiz next Tuesday, the Highball has some special prearranged SXSW-related programming. Specifically it's the Datapop Party, featuring musicians from around the world playing music on, I believe, old gaming machines like Gameboys. Highly recommended-- it's geek and it's drink and it's at the Highball. We'll be back in two weeks, same time, same place. Contact me direct via Twitter or email me at bemistape at g mail dot com.

Daring duck of mystery,
Champion of right,

Swoops out of the shadows,
Darkwing owns the night.

Somewhere some villain schemes,
But his number's up.

(

3-2-1) Darkwing Duck

(When there's trouble you call DW)

Darkwing Duck (Let'sget dangerous)

Darkwing Duck (Darkwing, Darkwing Duck!)

Cloud of smoke and he appears,
Master of surprise.

Who's that cunning mind behind

That shadowy disguise?

Nobody knows for sure,
But bad guys are out of luck.

'Cause here comes (Darkwing Duck)
Look out! (When there's trouble you call DW)

Darkwing Duck (Let's get dangerous)

Darkwing Duck (Better watch out, you bad boys)

Darkwing Duck!

Village Idiots	                                82
Bubba and the Belltown Babes	                70
Animal Nights	                                66
Luke Parr	                                65
The Urban Achievers                      	62
Animal Crackers                           	58
Annoying 	                                55
The Galoshes	                                49
Werewolf Barmitzvah 	                        49
Not eligible to Play	                        48
Drunk	                                        40
I Wish I could Grow a Handlebar Mustache	38
Short & Curlys	                                37
Titwicks	                                37
Pat Armstrong	                                34
Ebony and Ivory	                                28
Juliet Lives	                                 7

I get it. I’m like the substitute teacher and all of the quizzers feel that I’m some kind of n00b. I suppose it’s easy to assume that about someone as attractive as myself, but if you do feel that way, just know that I’ll do everything in my power to embarrass you.

Having said that….

Come on. I’ve quizmastered at 5 different venues, two of them are my own, and I say the rules very clearly at the beginning of each quiz. I even throw in a suggestion: If you have more than six people at your table, split into two teams – I took that one from QM-in-chief Dicker. And while I did my best to explain why I couldn’t let Lambda Lambda Lambda win, I think I’ll copy and paste a passage from the Quizmaster Bible:

If they’re not understanding about this and insist that the additional people at their table “aren’t playing” just let them know that while that may be true, the appearance of fairness requires you to not let them win. It just doesn’t look right for a team of 8 or 10 people to win, regardless of how much they swear up and down that their non-playing friends are morons.

Yeah, I’m a hard ass. Really, I’d rather have a team of 7 come after me than 11 teams of 2-6. In fact, back in November I had a team of 8 personally attack me for being narcissistic, selfish, and stupid. I mean. Ok. You still don’t get the gift certificate.

Also, to be clear, “I showed up after the 4th round” is weak reasoning. Standings have been known to change significantly during the second half of the quiz. Now, if you were to show up during the round 8 scoring break and a server would vouch for you, then we have another story.

Cool. We good?

So now, I have to review the difference between 80’s cartoons and genocide films. If ducks, mice, or space are somewhere in the dialogue, chances are it’s not a film about systematic killings of a demographic. With that, most genocides don’t have theme songs.

Time for art class:

Can you guys spot what’s funny about this picture? I’ve seen tons of doodles in my tenure, but I think this might be my favorite.

Especially since it wouldn’t be the first time I spotted ICP looking into my window.

Ok, PICTURE TIME!

In 9th place is Gag Gag. They had one of those team names that was a little difficult to say because the last letter of the first word was the same as the first letter of the last word. Or maybe my 4th grade speech impediment is firing up again.

M-Mommy, wuh-wuh-why is th-th-that guhl making fuh-fuh-fuh-faces at me?

In 7th place, and the winners of Team Congeniality is The Jedi Knights. They complimented my necklace, my face, and sexual competency….oh..Did I just spoil the future for you?

Next week I’ll wear something slutty. Just for you guys.

In 6th place is Tyrannosaurus Sex. I knew when this team didn’t immediately know an answer because they would just stare in my direction. Now, I love attention, but staring at me for any amount of time won’t make you smarter.

Except that it will because I’m THAT good.

In 4th place, but actually in 3rd because of a certain cheating team, is John Shuster Fan Club. I suppose saying the word “monument” over and over won’t help you understand what a monument is. My dog’s trainer told me that just saying “sit” to a dog who has never heard it before is the same as yelling “orange”. In Spanish.

"A monument...You know...A MONUMENT! COME ON!!! Naranja! NARANJA!

Slipping to 2nd place (3rd before “the incident”) is Clap if You Got It. If I didn’t know any better, I would say this is a joke about the venereal disease Chlamydia, unofficially known as the clap. Which is why it’s weird that this all-girl team would clap whenever I said their team name.

To quote Sean Paul, "I make it clap" [insert clapping rhythmically]

In 1st place, which I hear happens a lot, is I’m Not Gay, but $5 is $5. I just told my ex-boyfriend, who lives in Boston and is currently on an herbal substance, about this team name and he laughed his ass off. Actually, I just assumed he did because we’re talking on AIM. He typed “hahahahahaha”.

Congratulations, you’re Masshole approved.

Paul is on a panel at an Anime convention which kept him from his quizmaster duties tonight.

SCORES:

I’m Not Gay, but $5 is $5                   68
Clap If You Got It                          57
John Shuster Fan Club                       52
Lambda Lambda Lambda                        51*
Dougie’s Going Deep                         48
Tyrannosaurus Sex                           43
The Jedi Knights                            42
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare       34
Gag Gag                                     33
Grasslands, Inc.                            31
Hans Landa                                  15
East – Hans Landa                           13

*They would've had 62 if they retained use of their Joker, which they didn't, because...well, you know.

Sure, winning an Oscar is nice, but can you use it to buy beers?

My birthday was this week and I encouraged all teams to bring cake and other sweet baked-goods to show respect for their beloved Quizmaster. What did I get? A shot of whiskey, a PBR, and my bicycle stolen. Man, sometimes it ain't easy being the QM up in this hood. Our quiz started out with around about Stabbing and because we are a Tuesday night quiz, in direct competition with the TV show LOST, we didn't ask which of the castaways stabbed Jacob, or who arrived on the island with a suitcase full of knives. We don't want our happy teams to know what kind of small-screen excitment they are missing each week when they pull up a chair at Moe's. 9 more weeks and we will once more be the hottest Tuesday night ticket in town.

Our Internet Bonus Prize this week went to the lovely Elizabeth, who took home an Edgar Allen Poe action figure and (in an effort to get unwanted crap out of my office) three-quarters of a case of Monster Energy Drink. I hope she will get all amped up on Monster and stay up all night building a dream house for her little Edgar.

The plastic toy that celebrates the Macabre.

The Beverages in the Rue Morgue.

Scores remained tight throughout the quiz and first place seemed like anyones game. It all came down to one team knowing a factoid about the St. Louis Arch, and that single point proved to e crucial. AND THE WINNERS ARE...

IN THIRD PLACE:

PUBE QUIZ
They might not have come in first, but hey, they ate ribs!
IN SECOND PLACE:

CLAM
They are all hopped up on Monster.
AND OUR FIRST PLACE CHAMPS:

THE GENTLEMEN BEEKEEPERS
The Gateway Arch made it happen.

We came, we quizzed, we conquered. Thank you all for coming out and offering me your birthday wishes. Until next week...

...HERE ARE THE SCORES:

THE GENTLEMEN BEEKEEPERS                             66
CLAM                                                 65
PUBE QUIZ                                            63
POO MANCHU                                           60
EVEN STEVEN                                          56
TEAM NAME, WE DON'T NEED NO ESTEENKIN TEAM NAME      52
HOME MOES                                            47
THE RUSSIANS                                         31
COB GOBBLER                                          27

Well that's explains why I was working my ass off as Quizmaster and scorer tonight because Dublin's Street Pub set a record for Las Cruces, New Mexico with 19...count 'em 19 teams.
I gave out a few of my own awards tonight as well. Two new teams really shined with creativity and artistic ability that deserved more than honorable mention. Nipples and Clits (yes, that's their team name) came up with some of the most creative answers I had ever seen as a Quizmaster. I told the teams to be creative if they didn't know the answers and boy did they! On the visual round titled Wooly Willy the teams were supposed to guess who the bald movie stars were after they were given "magnetic hair". Nipples and Clits answers ranged from the Geico Gecko to "OMG! it's my Biological Father!" They had at least 2-3 answers like this per round so I gave them a metal bottle opener for their efforts.
The Dragons of Yesteryear were late comers but managed to entertain me with their drawings on the answer sheets. The young girl that kept coming up with the drawings could only be described as bubbly and ohhhh if I was just 30 years younger....uh...maybe 20? Yeesh! Anyway, I gave her a metal bottle opener for the creative artwork which you will see coming up. I tried to get a picture of her but she was very quick. Almost as quick as Mr. Stinky the Mascot Skunk was last week.

The Manager on Duty, Adan with the servers for the evening: Andrea, Rachel and Daniel.

Andrea hard at work filling orders. She kept my water coming all night too.

The next three pictures are from The Dragons of Yesteryear. I'm sure we haven't seen the last of them.

Third place went to last week's First Place team: Life of Crime.

Hey Look! It's our old friends the B.A.M.F.s coming in Second Place...again.

...and in First Place, a newcomer: Crime Don't Pay Sukkas. I'm a little concerned as this is the second straight week that our winners had the word "crime" in their name. I just hope I don't have to start paying out protection money. Here is the record-breaking list of our 19 teams from best to not so best:

1.)Crime Don't Pay Sukkas                 66
2.)B.A.M.F.s                              60
3.)Life of Crime                          57
4.)Smartass Squared                       53
5.)Mxyzptlk                               51
6.)Shaving Ryan's Privates                50
7.)Ninjas of Knowledge                    48
8.)Indoorsmen                             45
9.)Sho Nuff                               44
10.)Right Turn                            41
10.)Roman Showers                         41
12.)Anti-Dentites                         37
13.)Nipples and Clits                     35
14.)Gato Tacos                            33
15.)Woody's Round-Up                      29
16.)Naughty Nurses                        24
17.)Dragons of Yesteryear                 19
18.)Dubs                                  17
19.)Chicos Tacos                          13