Many thanks to the dedicated few who ignored the "Who Dat?" hubub to come play my quiz. It was a cozy evening at Freehouse, with six teams and a grand total of 13 people rockin' the quiz with me.

Put a Little Mustard On It could have been an easy round, seeing as how Opal's is a restaurant, but scores were decidedly lackluster. Yes, HP sauce exists... but it tends to only accompany English faire. It's pretty tasty, actually.

Stadium Anthems was a relative disappointment, but I didn't really expect the people who weren't watching the Super Bowl to have much knowledge of the various and sundry audio tracks played during sporting events.

You all made a stunning comeback with Flop or Not, which was apparently based on Worldwide box office numbers. And trust me... I have no idea why people saw Waterworld, either. One of life's great mysteries, I suppose.

Scores were steady for First Base: The Kiss Round. I think both this round and the condiment round served as a reminder that if all else fails, defer to the round theme. And color me surprised that Chris Rock coined the term, "tossed salad." That makes me question Mr. Rock's sexuality, but I suppose that discussion is for another time.

You guys did either really well or really shit on Crossword Animals, with Geek Bowl participants Oxford Coma and Freehouse regular Trivial Hirsute(s) leading the scores.

I'd actually like to take a moment to congratulate Oxford Coma for coming in 17th at Geek Bowl. Out of 70 some-odd teams from across the country, that's nothing to sneeze at. Congrats, fellas!!!

Clearly, my Sunday stalwarts were severely lacking in their Jamaican knowledge, with three teams shitting the bed something awful on that round. And no one really appreciated my Futurama reference to "Jerk." I'll do better next time.

Heart Attack on Sesame Street was only mildly redemptive with nary a perfect score in sight. I was mildly amused by the sounds of Bert doing... er... "push-ups." In my opinion, he was grunting a little too much for your standard exercise regime. And if you don't believe that puppets can perform any sort of sexual act, then you clearly haven't seen Avenue Q.

Round 8 was a toss up as well, but as only one team had used their joker thus far, there was a mild upset right at the end, both in scores and in free beers. Oxford Coma was strategically placed to not have to travel far for the bonus questions. This wasn't so much a boon to them, though, as pretty much every bonus had the rest of you stumped. So I made a judgment call... dance off for the last free beer. So I popped the audio cable into my iPhone, pulled up the Glee cast version of Gold Digger and demanded you dance.

I severely underestimated your desire for free beer.

Ultimately, the adorable fella from Lewis' Younger Brother and Cousin won Rachael and me over by doing flips off the damned table. This shit was redankulous, but a PERFECT way to end the evening.

After the scores came down (which were unusually abysmal for round 8), there was a mild upset in scores (as mentioned above). I do have to commend all of you, though. Some were harassed into playing, some just couldn't give two shits about football, but you played in your bewildered and diminished capacities and made for a pretty fun evening. Thanks!!!

Scores:

Oxford Coma				58
The Rural Juror				48
Trivial Hirsute(s)			44
Lord Mandrake				33
Team Fail				31
Lewis' Younger Brother and Cousin	31

Seriously, thanks SO MUCH for coming out and keeping Rachael and me company. Go Saints and all that, but I don't give a flying rat's ass about football. Lose the padding, swap the ball for a Fleshlight, and have them play in a tub of pudding..., and I'm sold.

-Your friendly neighborhood quizmaster and his score maven,
Josh and Rachael

As the Stupid Bowel was wrapping up, the kids chez O'Niells were quizzing up for our Sunday's Finest, a somewhat rebellious affair, replete with drunken, post-sporting event hangover-helpers, and honest-to-goodness salt of the earth quizfolk. Our was a tidy one this evening, and with some rather difficult quiz-content, the spreadsheet was all higgledy-piggledy. Higgledy-piggledy means "a big mess." I got that from Bloom County. That shit is the best.

Oh, post-Stupid Bowel quiz. You're so cute. I'm gonna name you Kevin. Thanks for coming out, for serious! Bring 'em all back next week for the godless goodness you know and love on so very well. Cheers!

Cylon Shuffleboard sneaked a 3rd Place win!

Pooper Bowel 44 sounds like some kinda awesome colonics. 2nd Place all the way, here!

And finally, Double Entendre, with a smashing Random Knowledge, for 1st!

Double Entendre                62
Pooper Bowel 44                52
Cylon Shuffleboard             43
It's Hard to Run With a Beer   42
Nothing But Truck              41
Team Shasta!!!                 41
Flying Pig People              38
We're the 3 Best Friends       25

We whipped it out big time with the unveiling of the new FIRST PLACE LAST WEEK trophy with usable pitcher on top. The trophy lets the other teams know that just a week ago your team kicked their ass! Oh, what fun.

SUPER TROPHY ACTION!

Next week is Luau night! Each team member that is dressed up will net your team an extra point!

Garrison bequeathing the trophy!

Hair just gets in the way of answers.

Luke and the gang deep in the quiz.

SCORES!

Trophy Husbands             70
Clifnotes                   66
Hell if I know!             62
Jizzed in my Pants          59
Hooterville                 50
Gorgeous Gicantipethicines  48
Team Kendric                42
Flat Tire Wheelies          38
Spinal Block, It's Amazing! 37

Who Dat won the Geeks Who Drink? The Little Trek on the Prairie, that’s who.

Ain’t kidding.

Put away those paper bags forever. Julio and the Prairie are GWD champions, rallying to upset Drip Torch Baby Killer 70-63 Sunday night in one of pro quizdom’s most thrilling title games.

Tina tied a quiz record with 32 correct answers, the last a 2-point slant to Josh for the winning points with 5:42 remaining, and was chosen the game’s MVP.

“We just believed in ourselves and we knew that we had an entire city and maybe an entire country behind us,” Julio said. “What can I say? I tried to imagine what this moment would be like for a long time and it’s better than expected.”

A surprise anthem round sparked the Trek’s second-round comeback. Their 3rd-ranked overall knowledge made several key stops, and Glynn's 74-yard interception return on a pass from the quizmaster, JZA, of all people, clinched it.

We Are the World of Warcraft tried to give chase, but was blocked by a Trek defender and fell awkwardly as the cornerback raced by. The several-time GWD MVPs forlornly walked to the sideline as the Big Jonesy celebrations began.

“It’s time for the Trek to celebrate,” he said. “It’s their field and it’s their championship.”

An GWD embarrassment for much of their 3 years, the Trek’s quiz renaissance, led by Josh and coach Tina, climaxed with Julio’s touchdown and Gynn’s 2-point conversion catch, originally ruled incomplete but overturned on Tina’s challenge.

Emilio’s pick, just as dramatic as his interception of Patrick Kelly’s pass to force overtime in a GWD title game, was the game’s only turnover. It’s one we all will forever regret.

The One (0-1) hosted thirty preseason games this winter after serving only two in the previous 3 years. He beat no one their last-place title, scoring 36 points and allowing only 70.

The championship came 4 1/2 years after being socially awkward, making the Treks pariahs for the 2009 season. There even was some doubt they would return, but team refused to abandon Jonesy's. Their reputation was repaired and the Treks won the DEN Uptown in ’09, their first season with the JZA.

Tina held the Jonesy's gift certificate high over her head and ran into the bar toward several fans chanting the Trek rally cry: “Why do they keep winning every week?”

Nobody can say it now till next week.

“Everybody back in Jonesy's gets a piece of this trophy,” he said, "except you..."

*Thank you AP for helping to write this blug

Scores

Little Trek on the Prairie        70
Drip Torch Baby Killer            63
We Are the World of Warcraft      61
The Pro-Life Abortionists         47
One                               36

Last night's quiz got a little ceerraazzyy, if you know what I mean. What's that? You say you don't know what I mean? Oh, well, let me show you some pictures then.

What follows are pictures of the quiz proper and Denise from the British Bulldog's birthday party I attended afterword:

Why does my arm hurt? Oh yeah, I'm pretty sure I got punched really hard on it after saying something inappropriate to a lady.

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And, as always, some cute girls to close out the blog. You're welcome.

unfrozen camen dental hygienists                      71                   
I puked up a furry at the teabagger convention        64
alderan insurance company                             62
fuck john cusack                                      59
team donkey punch                                     52
swollen scrotum                                       50
keith roy                                             49
pulmonary toilet                                      45
he shoots she swallows                                36
does thias look contagious?                           36
red neck                                              15

Oh boy. I never realized sober quizzing could be so much fun. I mean, I don't advise it for the rest of you. You guys should keep drinking. In large amounts. There, I fulfilled my obligation to the bar. Yes, in case you guys don't know, lost weekend punched me square in the face with drunken good times. That said, me and alcohol are on a little break. I'm not saying I never want to see her again or even hook up from time to time, but for the time being the wedding is on hold.

It became very clear to me last night that the stock show has officially left town. Yes, the cowboy hats have been put away and everyone is officially back to hating or not caring about country music. I can respect that I guess, but at the same time how could you hate such genius titles like "Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye," or "You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly?" That shit is pure comedy gold. It's too bad that the songs suck so bad.

Hey, guess what? Your Quizmaster is a huge fucking narcissist. I get a lot picture drawn for me throughout the Quiz, but the ones I love the best are the ones that are of me. And not the ones that involve penises around my face. That shit is not cool. So you can imagine how happy I was last night that not just one, but two teams drew pictures of their favorite Quizmaster. let's take a look!

Special thanks to Jeff Goldbluman Group and Death Star Burlesque for these awesome renderings.

Well, that's all for today. I'm off to devote myself to one of my favorite days of the year. Till next week, Go Colts!

I Want My Sex Tape Back! Who said I had it? Was it Steve? Cuz that dude's a fucking liar.

Score Report

Death Star Burlesque                                    58
I Was Used For My Burrito                               57+1
I Just Quizzed In My Pants                              57
Old But Not dead                                        54
Jeff Goldbluman Group                                   51
It's Not So Much A Time Machine As A Dodgeball Cannon   51
I Want My Sex Tape Back                                 50
What The Fuck Is WTF                                    48
I'll Root For The Saints I Guess                        47
Six Degrees                                             47
DTCBS                                                   43
Man Crunch ANonymous                                    38
Elliot's Essentials                                     31
Frak You                                                24
The Pen 15 Club                                         13

And for the record, this is what I was talking about when I told you to punch dance out your anger.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FsCO-YkDgnY

This is what Chelsea just said to our cat this morning, as I prepared to begin my recap of last night's quiz. Yes, Gypsy, it's true, but you were never cut out for motherhood.

Last night felt like the first day of school. After Chelsea and I missed last week to fly to Denver for the Geekbowl, we came into Marina not knowing what to expect. Do we sit in the same place? Are there new rules? Does the quiz start at 9? Can I get a vodka over here?

Fortunately for all of us, nothing much had changed. With 34 teams playing, it was a wonderful homecoming for us! Next year I'm going to recruit more of you to the Geekbowl, but we'll talk about that in about 9 months.

The entire restaurant was packed, and everyone was playing from babies to metalheads. One team said there should be a prize for last place, but much to their chagrin, they did better than last.

My favorite round of the night was It's A Vagina, Not A Gumball Machine!, especially since my good friend who has worked with vaginas for many years was playing. I also noticed a lot of Monty Python questions, which is always fun for me because I've never made it through an entire MP movie.

3rd place went to La Arana Discoteca but they had a squiggly thing over the N that I don't know how to produce here. It looked like this ~. In 2nd was 5 ABBA Fans and 1 Metalhead, while 1st went to Jeff Bridges experts Thanks Meat Cat!

It was a great night and it was so nice to be back.
See you next week! xoxo, Evelyn and Chelsea

thanks meat cat!                        63
5 ABBA fans and a metalhead             61
la arana discoteca                      60
freaks who drink                        58
wait-ill get a towel…..                 57
assistants to the regional manager      56
moo too!                                55
not the mama                            55
sliced bread                            54
tiny tuba                               52
by friend I mean dickbag what 
          ruined my mama's girl parts   51
roughriders                             51
4 geeks and a baby                      50
felonious monkeys                       46
brad pitt's unsightly facial hair       44
shit howdy!                             43
the penis mightier                      43
supreme mediocrity                      42
wondertwins                             42
cardinal sins                           41
booyakasha yakasha ya…                  41
jersey dips                             40
sexy hosts from outer space (hostess)   39
slaves of the evil miss fuzzybuns       38
oooooooooooh we just came               37
coolest people here                     30
quit shouting at us, we're not deaf     28
megan                                   24
red socks                               22
vineet                                  19
blue                                    17
burn peder                              12
leisa                                   11
apache cake                             10

Tonight, while I was talking to a handsome gentleman, he placed his hands behind his head, and subsequently tumbled backwards out of his chair. While falling, he reached for a table, and pulled his drink down on top of him. I don’t really know how to tell you this, but as I made the effort to dive across the table, secretly, I was attempting to save his beer. I am a worldly woman, I can’t help it.

Another fantastic point in the evening: someone yells out ote of the evening “Macaulay can suck it.” Keep in mind, that was before the audio round even started. Your words will be forever immortalized on my tee shirt. With a sharpie.

Everyone knew the title of the trans gender national anthem “Man I Feel Like A Woman” which makes me oh so proud of the Lone Tree crowd. Also, a little leary of the guy that got my number. But only a little.

Look at your pretty faces:

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Danger is My Middle Name     66
Repeat Offenders             59
One Finger Dick Poke?        56
Scandals and Animals         52
Monogamous Sluts             48
For F-Nuts                   20
Ashley                       10

Tonight I Quizmastered for reasons other than the regular catching a buzz and lording ruthlessly over a surly mob. I think it was an excellent change. Tonight there was a nice casual fundraiser for some generous students, faculty and staff at the Iliff School of Theology. It was a fun way to boost a little competition for Super Bowl weekend and benefit some people at the same time.

The winning prize was to determine where the proceeds of the evening's event were donated. The winners, Psycha(delic) Hegemonies have elected to donate the take to Heifer International, which is a group that, among other things, provides dairy goats and other sustained food production animals to help people around the world become more self-reliant. I can get behind that for sure, and I am glad that I could hang out with these cats and kittens and do a little good.

Psycha(delic) Hegemonies  66
Battlestar Theologica     64
Agnostics                 62
The Temptations           60
Scribbling Women          56
The Watchamacallits       46