My Mom's Not Dead, She's Just in Iowa

May 10th, 2008

Tonight was awesome. Shit got rowdy. People got drunk. People sang Believe It or Not at the top of their lungs. People battled it out for the bonus questions and I'm pretty sure the drink one of the team's bought me had GHB in it, but oh shit we all had a lot of fun.

There were some questions no one got right...apparently the theme to Square Pegs reminded a lot of people of Night Court and no one apparently remembered the song Bad Boys Get Spanked by the Pretenders however everyone remembered about Kim Basinger and the ice nipples...it's funny what sticks in people's minds.

2008 May 10 Whiskey Bar Mark 8
Mark it 8 doing some sort of gang sign signaling their dominance and also, I think, a love of crazy finger sexin

2008 May 10 Whiskey Bar Bumpin
Bumpin Uglies were giving me lip all night, but in the end we made up and totally did it in the bathroom

2008 May 10 Whiskey Bar AWG
Average White Guys - the guy in the middle wanted so badly to sing the entire Golden Girls theme song, but his pride got in the way - I hate when that happens

2008 May 10 Whiskey Bar Hulk
The highlight of Hulk's night was winning the highly contested bonus question about Star Trek and Whales

2008 May 10 Whiskey Bar Nappy
I think they are trying to tell us that this guy is holding them captive and need help

2008 May 10 Whiskey Bar Slick
Slick Willie did not want to be photographed. I think it had something to do with his wife being out of town and him giving Leaves of Grass to his lady friend.

2008 May 10 Whiskey Bar Goobs
2 Goobs - highlight of my night - the man on the left dancing like a ballerina when he was the only team to answer King's X - Dogman during the audio round - pure awesome

2008 May 10 Whiskey Bar Turtles
I love like turtles said they were going to leave early, but stuck it out. They might not have known the answers, but they gave some of the funniest wrong answers of the night. Also, the ninja was a real douche.

Final Scores Mutha Uckers!

Mark it 8                               66
Bumpin Uglies                           60
Average White Boys                      59
Hulk Hogan's Smoked Back Bacon          59
Nappy Headed Ho Chi Minh Trail Mix      55
Slick Willie                            50
Rod Torfulson's Armada                  47
2(3) Goobs                              46
Supple Pups                             44
Barheels                                42
I Love Like Turtles                     28
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Alderaan Doesn't Count

May 10th, 2008

Lucky for us or I should say for you on audio rounds, the sound at Casey's was restored to all its glory.

A new dynasty may have emerged. In first place once again it was I want my $2 taking home the coveted first prize.

In second place Team Donkey Punch finally made a run back up to the top. They've had a several week drought of not even placing in the top 3.

Is that a drag queen, or clay aiken firmly took home third place, 10 points away from second and more than a 10 point lead over fourth.

Mmm...funky fresh is it's name and making you crave corndogs is its game.

Your FINAL SCORES:

I want my $2                         75
Team Donkey Punch                    71
Is that a drag queen, or clay aiken  61
Fiesta Trio                          48
Sarah's Losers                       48
Famous Nick and the avengers         48
Chicago                              47
Noname                               32
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Doug And Jami Know How To Party

May 9th, 2008

This is how we do it. Whoa, bad, you can’t cross “the ‘pac” and Montel Jordan, lyrical faux pas.

Wait, explanation: The music playing when I left was Tupac and Dr. Dre, California Love. Now, with that in mind, “Doug and Jami, know how to party.” See, much better.

Speaking of California Love, California got none from tonight’s special addition of the standard GWD quiz. No love indeed, save from Hiyak & D, a team mostly comprised of current Californians. Even then, I’m not so sure that they loved it so much as beat it into submission. It would do their bidding.

I knew I couldn’t capture the “magic” so instead I will take my imperfections and turn them into a decorative collage like my sponsor would show me how to do should I become a substance abuser and be mandated into a group of like-minded individuals

There would be no love for The Pink Jetta this night although they did actually know every answer that wasn’t on the quiz. No bulls#!t.

here, one-half of The Pink Jetta conferring.

“What is a Manther?” I ask. “Kinda like a cougar.” The response. I’m not even sure if I still fully understand this but my lexicon has been opened up to whole new possibilities and levels of, a little word I learned recently, awesome.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Manther? Oh the possibilities.

In the end you gots your winners and you gots your losers and anybody who leaves with sushi placemats (a la a prior arrival from Dicker) is never, ever, a loser. Queue 5 Points Shenanigansand frontman Doug.

Did he just say “oh snap.”?

Y’all were out in force (that’s right, I went to Y’all) because Jami accomplished a feat that many of us haven’t even attempted. For me it’s getting up without crying and that’s one thing I’ll have to come to terms with but graduation? Hell, I can hardly spell it. To cut my ramblin’s short because I certainly could go on I will leave you with…

The Scores:

5 Points Shennanigans	33
Manther & Son		29
Hiyak & D		29
The Pink Jetta		27

Well all things must come to and end, some bad, some good, some inevitable. For now, its is this blog.

Permalink Posted By: Quizmaster Funktastic
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If you're still hungover from last week, you should probably get that looked at!

May 9th, 2008

It has been a full week folks, are you still hungover?

Last night’s quiz at Illegal Pete’s had a decidedly different tone than last weeks mayhem. It wasn’t their beloved bartender’s final evening in Colorado, JZA didn’t miraculously appear in the 7th round, there were no foot races in the parking lot and most importantly I was able to get home at a reasonable hour and wake up this morning without a mindbending headache.

My guess is that everyone else’s headaches and queasy stomach are still in place from the madness, that is why we only had five teams join into the fray last night. Luckily, the five teams that did show were there to play some serious quiz. On my initial pass over the questions yesterday afternoon, I was a bit concerned about the strangely obtuse Cult round that we had queued up for round 1 but low and behold, the folks at Pete’s surprised me and pulled out some impressive scores. In fact, the impressive scoring held up through the 7th round, it must have been due to Jason’s absence. We all know he couldn’t score unless his mom buys it for him. I kid because I love!

Of the five teams in attendance, everyone stayed neck and neck all quiz. In the visual round, no one scored less than a 7, but everyone held on to their joker till round 8, if you all had jokered round 2 our scores would have been pushing the seventies. Thanks for coming out last night, it has been great these last couple weeks being your surrogate QuizMaster and as far as I know, JZA will bring back that lovin’ feeling next week.

Peace,
PT


16 Eyed Monster
3rd Place in the Lisa Loeb impersonators pageant...
16 Eyed Monster

Curley Murkins
Curley Merkins
First place $25 and the most recent copy of The Onion. Doesn't get much better than that.

Obscure Pop Culture Reference
The inferior halves of Obscure Pop Culture Reference

Bonus Prize Winner
This gentleman won last night's email bonus question. A quick reminder for Jason, before you head back next week you need to pick up some bonus prizes.

SCORE REPORT

Curley Merkins                   64
Obscure Pop Culture Reference    61
16-eyed Monster                  55
Something Less Substantial       51
Listen to my lungs!              47
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The Longer you Go, the Harder it Gets

May 9th, 2008

Magazines
Remember when the rally cry of the frighteningly illiterate was "I only read magazines." Well, judging from the high scores on tonight's magazine round, it appears that statement has now become the rule. It won't be long before the statement morphs into, "I only read blogs." When that day comes, magazine readers will be considered intellectuals. As for book readers--what’s a book?

The Wonder Years
I fondly remember the closing credits to "The Wonder Years" as family time. If you're the child of a true baby boomer, you'll remember this as the weekly time your parents would insist you stop paving the lanes of your own counterculture memories just long enough to stroll down theirs.

Harder Still
A high point from tonight's quiz: one liquored up genius asked, "why do the questions get harder as the night goes on?" I'll let you answer that one for yourselves.

And now, The Scores (reflecting the alarming trend of ever-lengthening team names.)

Madcow: Beyond Thunderdome        76
We Picked the Wrong Day to Stop 
   Sniffing Glue                  61
Lloyd Christmas                   61
Covered in Bees                   57
Our Squirrel Speaks Jive          52
Loki, You Must be a Lazer 'Cause
   Baby, Yer Set on Stunning      52
Tell Your New Boyfriend I Gave
   Him AIDS                       39
Stupider                          16

Photos




I came to the quiz with Yuka and her family straight from an incredible, gourmet meal at Frasca. Her folks are in town celebrating her graduation. Congratulations!


I was also glad to see my neighbor, and yours.


Loki, You Must be a Lazer 'Cause Baby, Yer Set on Stunning


You had to feel for this pack of clever Geeks. They had a strong night, but some losing habits forced them to limp into second place.We Picked the Wrong Day to Stop Sniffing Glue.


An unusually low turnout from My Squirrel Speaks Jive. (Low both in terms of man-power and points.) Better luck next time!


Of course, our winning team Madcow: Beyond Thunderdome took the opportunity to rub it in with pointedly flaunting a certain retro confection (pictured below).


Incidentally, it was delicious.


Some stragglers (geeks who came too late to play.)


Email bonus prize time: Bing wins again.


I know I keep threatening to ban him from competing in the email bonus rounds, but I don't know on what grounds. The man's just lucky, as evidenced by his growing prize shrine.


In other new, Joshua may have found a new use for the intrusive pool tables, when covered.

Next week, I'll be in Mexico reminding myself that I do not tan. Be good to Jenny . I don't want any notes on my desk when I return.

Much love,
- Loki

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Just wait 'til we do an entire round on Freddy Got Fingered.

May 9th, 2008

To say results varied on the Airplane! round would be an understatement. But we did have a team ace it--Jerkin' Merkin, made up of Erica and her friend Dave who was in town from Brooklyn. It was indicative of how the rest of the night would go for them. I'm glad there was a question in that round on the underrated classic Top Secret--go out and rent that if you have not already; I'd almost venture to say it's funnier than Airplane.

Also working in Jerkin' Merkin's favor was the fact that several of the bands in our music round were from NYC, and rather than asking for artist & title like usual, we were asking for the city the artist is from. Add it all up and they blew past Elmer & Elsie in Round 8 despite a strong performance from them that would have been enough to win the quiz here at G's most nights.


5-8-2008/greenfields/taint
Is this the Yoko Ono of Team Taint? Or are they just squabbling over a rough Round 8?

5-8-2008/greenfields/elsieandelmer
In 2nd place, Elsie & Elmer. Funny, they don't look like cows.

5-8-2008/greenfields/jerkinmerkin
Jerkin' Merkin wins an Obama-style victory. Not just more popular votes (points), but they cleaned up the delegates (bonus question pints) and the superdelegates (the bonus e-mail prize kung fu coasters) as well.

YOUR SCORES:

Jerkin' Merkin              63
Elmer & Elsie               54
The Taint                   42
Whatever                    26

See you all next Thursday! Operation Snug Leech continues as my invitation remains open to teams tired of getting their butts kicked at the bigger venues to come down here and get their quiz on--1st place gets $50 bar cash if we get 10+ teams.

Also I'm looking forward to subbing at Wyman's #5 on Monday and you're all welcome to come down and heckle me; just remember if you break rule #2, rule #3 will be enforced with extreme prejudice. Evil Rob out!

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and then there were two

May 9th, 2008

Oh yes, the celebration was in full swing at Weaver's. The geeks came out to worship one of their own, it being his birthday and all. Dustin Coren definitely had a good time, he's my special little guy. For those of you who don't know, Dustin turned 237 last night, so it was kind of a big deal. My second time out met with a wee bit more success, I feel the geeks and I starting to bond, except maybe for the firm, I have a sneaking suspicion they want to burn me in effigy.

Can you believe this guy is 769 years old?

Satan was with us ladies and gentlemen, with most of the geeks nailed down the massacre round questions. Some of them seemed a little too close. Pertinent knowledge and all that. May the dark lord provide us all with blessings and souls to feed on, increasing the trivia knowledge tenfold. There were some dark questions in there. First we started off with the cults, then all mayhem broke loose as Max tried to make everyone drink the Kool-Aid, Flavor-ade, whatever. Happy geeks are serene geeks, heed these words of advice.

Still, Geeks who Drink is the most fun shit, and I get a big kick out of the look of disgust on peoples faces when I walk through the door. Fear me, for I am the quizmaster, not to mention Dustin's lackey. Jesus I sound like a douche. But no audio setbacks this week, I'd say I'm batting 500, a solid 1-2 at Weavers. Maybe you'll see me next time, maybe you won't, but it doesn't matter, the show will go on, or vice versa. Do work, ladies and gentlemen, do work. See ya next Thursday at Weave's, for the virgin sacrifice, or as we like to call, Geeks who Drink...Blood. Hah. Hah. Hah! Hah! HAH! (I hope you don't think I'm serious...or am I?)

Scores

Wonder Woman's Invisible Vagina...64
The Firm...                            59
The Mean Mr. Mustards...               52
Fantastico's...                        50
Strippers are our Friends...           50
Itchy and Scratchy...                  37
Private Parts...                       44 


Max had his pants down


This was decide the fate of the world


Fantastico's, aka Charo's Grandchildren


The insides of Reo Van Gilder

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A barrel of malt, a bushel of hops, you stir it around with a stick

May 9th, 2008

It was our first night hosting at Fado's and I don't know why but all night long I had dreams of being cold and damp while smelling of Guinness and getting in fights with my Da. I also want to get out all my old Roddy Doyle books and perhaps even finally tackle Ulysses...nah - I think I'll just keep going back to Fado's and maybe just try to teach next week's teams some bawdy drinking songs...yes, that seems more my speed.

The night's first round on cults caught some teams off guard. I don't think we had many theology students in the mix, but it lead to some creative answers. I think - Micah's Bedroom - in answer to the question -about where you would find Beatles Music and Gonorrhea, might have been my favorite answer of the night.

Alex Trebek's Humiliation and Office Kensington kicked ass on Round 2's audio round and moved them up to 1st and 2nd place early on. Places they would stay for the entire quiz. That just goes to show, it pays to know more about Jimi Hendrix than the shape of his cock.

2008 May 8 Fado Alex Trebek
Alex Trebek's Humiliation kicked some ass coming in a good 19 points ahead of 2nd place AND winning the night's internet bonus question and getting some sweet sushi placemats

2008 May 8 Fado Office K
Office Kensington sit...stay...roll over...

2008 May 8 Fado Broccoli
Apparently both of these guys' breath smelled like broccoli...I guess it's better than your pee smelling like asparagus...maybe?

2008 May 8 Fado Highlander
Highlander - their first battle was in the Scottish highlands...their next on the streets of Denver

2008 May 8 Fado Seattle
Seattle or Bust - they kept asking where the Space Needle was.

Final Scores!

Alex Trebek's Humiliation                67
Officer Kensington                       48  
Seattle or Bust                          46
IOWA: Idiots Out Wandering Around        45
Highlander                               44
Mike and Pat                             43
Broccoli Breath                          40
Catfish and I                            14
Chuck Norris Fan Club                     9
Q Ball                                    8       
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Geeks was filmed in front of a live audience

May 9th, 2008

The title of the blog this week refers to the fact that last night was one of those strange evenings where there was so much commotion and so many late entry teams that I had trouble figuring out who was playing and who was not.

Now we usually get a decent size crowd out at Geckos, and even if a team misses the first round they usually still have a fair chance at winning something. But last night it felt that instead of me playing to you guys, we all staged a very unusual play for some folks. What they thought of our collective antics we will never know, unless they come back.

5-08--08-geckos-bar

Isn't it beautiful? Players and Non-players drinking in Harmoney.

I even had a very very late team that wanted to play. And to show such enthusiasm kept yelling answers. When I asked them to stop they were at least kind enough to come up to me and yell answers to my face. While I do admire such attention to detail. When questioned later why they would would do such a thing when it was obvious that no other people playing were doing that they explained they just thought everyone else was stupid.

I would have asked them to play along even but the whole ordeal started in the middle of round 8 and by the time I got around to explaining the rules it was the end or round 8.

5-08-08-geckos-nonteam

The non-(but hopefully future) team in question acknowledge their wrongdoing in yelling answers. No hard feelings guys. Come back and play sometime.

As far as the actual quiz. I only got this response from people "TV closing theme songs GOOOOOD. Entire round on the movie Airplane! BADDDD."

5-08-08-geckos-Yeah

Team Yeah I'm Better than you and I know it tells Me what she thinks about an entire round on Airpalne!

In the end a warm spring evening and quiz seemed to go together like Gin and Tonic. So without further ado the scores.....

Yeah I'm better than you and I know it            24
"Pound'em"                                        35
Significant figures                               39
The Babywackers                                   48
Kirkland Signature                                60
Brad Needs a Hug                                  61
Eight Bell Glue Stick Co.                         65

5-08-08-geckos-kirkland

Third Place Kirkland Signature

5-08-08-geckos-BNAH

Second Place Brad Needs a Hug

5-08-08-geckos-winners

Winners Eight Bell Glue Stick Co.

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Burt's Tiki Lounge - 8PM

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