• Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Mar 23, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Superhero Sex
dammit kevin

It all started with my teenage boys and I talking about female fertility. That evolved (of course) into us discussing whether or not Wolverine’s mutant powers extended to his sperm. If they do, does that mean that spermicides and a woman’s natural defenses would be unable to prevent conception? Would the sperm be able to make their way all the way into the ovaries and then rampage like a fox in a henhouse? Our discussion continued as we began to apply the same logic to other superheroes. We finally decided that the world needs a “Superheroes Having Sex” comic strip. Unfortunately, drawing a basic penis is the limit of my drawing abilities (and even then, I can
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Mar 16, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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What Rhymes With Orange
dammit kevin

If you guys are like me, you come to quiz to see how dumb you are (ok maybe you go to see how smart you are) and to be amused. Lately, I’ve been amusing myself (sounds kinda dirty as I’m proof reading) by reading really bad jokes to my son and girlfriend. They actually aren’t ALL really bad but the best ones are. If you know what I mean. So, for YOUR amusement, here are some of my favorites that I’ve recently found (disclaimer: most of these are from a Reddit thread):    My friend says to me: "what rhymes with orange" I said: "no it doesn't" Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them I've found a job helping a one
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Mar 09, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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The Beatles, FTW
dammit kevin

First of all – I just got back from Vegas which may be my favorite place on Earth. I’m not much of a gambler. So, my favorite thing to do in Vegas is watch shows. This time I saw Beatles Love and Mystère. I’ve seen Beatles Love three times now. It’s been different every time but this was the first time that I’ve seen it with my girlfriend. If you have a chance to see it then ALWAYS go see it.But, if there’s any way to see it with someone you’re really in love with, then do whatever is needed to make that happen (as my old team of coworkers in India used to say – “do the needful”). It was an amazing experience. Now,
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Mar 02, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Sweet Sookie
dammit kevin

Team name trolling – that’s what I call it when teams pick names to mess with the Quizmaster. I love it and I do it pretty regularly when I play. Tonight we had a pretty clever one that would have managed to troll both me and the team that’s been winning regularly. That is - if the regular winners had actually been here. As it was, Quizlamic Sta - just kidding it's that shitty Kidz Bop band The DDD's, still managed to poke fun at me with their team name. They even included my previous attempts to mock them by saying their name sounded like a shitty kids bop band (it does if you say it the right/wrong way – The DeeDeeDee’s). Anyway, nicely done.
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Feb 23, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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The Sound of Silence
dammit kevin

I can pretty much use my blog to say anything I want. I’ve used it to complain about traffic on 75 (why do people drive slow in the left lane??? – there’s even a state law that slower traffic must keep right but fat lot of good that does). I’ve used it to express my political opinion. **Wait! Here’s a knock, knock joke that I just thought of:  Knock, knockWho’s there?BananaBanana who?Knock, knockWho’s there?BananaBanana who?Knock, knockWho’s there?BananaBanana who?Knock, knockWho’s there?OrangeWell, hello Mr. President! Anyway,
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Feb 16, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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The Frigid Virgin
dammit kevin

I was a little surprised how many teams thought it was true that countries could dump small amounts of nuclear (or nuk-u-lur if you’re George W – but if you’re reading my blog then you probably aren’t) waste in Antarctica. I mean, come on, the world is pretty messed up but that’s our last pure continent. It’s been saving itself for years and it’s practically a virgin still (oral doesn’t count, right?). As such, there are international agreements to take care of it and treat it like a glass snowflake (not sure where I got that metaphor or even what is meta is actually for). So, there’s a big No Dumping sign in Antarctica right next to the
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Feb 09, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Kidz Bop
dammit kevin

Well, one of our teams tonight (The D.D.D.’s – That Shitty Kidz Bop Band!!!) basically dedicated their performance to the art movement simply known as Kidz Bop. Amazingly, are there is a staggering 30+ Kidz Bop CDs with songs ranging from ones that seem destined to be Kidz Bop songs (like ABC) to ones that don’t sound like kids should sing them (Stressed Out). The whole thing is morbidly fascinating to me so I think I’ll add a few of these to my playlist. By special request, we already heard the Kidz Bop version of Thrift Shop tonight. It wasn’t quite the same as the original but I was able to almost sing along while laughing every time they altered
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Feb 02, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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I Have What On My Nose?
dammit kevin

I know this is going to come as a surprise but I don’t have much to complain about this week. I’d tell you about my weekend but that was days ago and I’ve probably forgotten most of it (I think there were some transvestites, a big hairy guy in a dress, and I do remember shooting a gun – oh yeah, I saw Rocky Horror and went shooting on a friend’s land in BFE). Normally, I’d complain about politics and all of the ridiculous stuff going on with immigration but I think we all agree how stupid it is and I’m burnt out of it from Facebook. I’d complain about the weather but it has been great lately (thanks Global Warming, too bad you aren’t real).
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Jan 26, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Quizaversary
dammit kevin

Well, Saturday will be exactly one year from the time I first hosted quiz at San Francisco Rose. SFR was my first venue and the first place I hosted after completing all of my training and chaperoning requirements. So, I’ve now completed one year at this venue and my first full year as a quizmaster. After a year, I still get a little burst of excitement before I turn on the microphone for the first time each night. I still feel like I’m too slow on grading (although I’m night-and-day faster than I was a year ago). I still enjoy seeing regular teams but now it means more because I know how often teams come and go - I really appreciate it when people enjoy my quiz enough
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Jan 19, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Where's My Popcorn?
dammit kevin

Well, it’s a good thing that we all had fun tonight because tomorrow’s going to be a circus (see what I did there – we had a circus round tonight). Regardless of how you feel about the phrase “President Trump”, tomorrow he will be the 45th President of the United States. And lots of people are going to totally lose their shit. I remember a large numbers of unhappy people for every president that’s been elected but I  don’t remember this much political angst for any single event in my life. So, grab a bag of popcorn, get your panties untwisted, and just sit back and enjoy the show. Tonight was the last quiz of the free world
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Jan 12, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Practically 90
dammit kevin

Well, my birthday was Tuesday and this morning I realized that I’m most of the way to 90. If you had to round my age to either 0 or 90, you’d have to choose 90 because that’s what I’m closer to. On the positive side, my girlfriend says I look great for someone that’s most of the way to 90 and that I don’t look a day older than someone that’s most of their way to 80. Speaking of which, I must be robbing the cradle because she’s not even halfway to 80 yet. *winkyface* Tonight’s quiz was fun. I could do rounds of “piss jokes” every night and not get tired of them (ok, maybe they’d need to alternate
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Jan 05, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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More Frozen Than Cher's Face
dammit kevin

Well, that just about says it all tonight. It was cold. Too cold. I can tolerate the cold if I’m skiing but when it’s this cold AND I’m still in Dallas then it sucks. Thanks to Less Frozen than Sonny Skiing, More Frozen than Cher’s Face for the blog title. The team name pretty much sums things up nicely. That’s pretty much it for the witty banter that I usually provide you guys with. It’s just too cold for my brain to function correctly. I’ve got so much shrinkage that it would take a doctor (with rubber gloves and one of those little funny lights they wear on their head like spelunkers) to tell that I’m not a girl. And
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Dec 29, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Goodbye 2016
dammit kevin

Goodbye 2016. I know that probably every blog written this will week will mention good riddance to 2016 and I agree. However, I think is just the beginning of celebrity deaths. I think that there’s a bump in the curve of the number of old celebrities caused by the proliferation of entertainment media in the 80s and 90s. Sadly, I think that 2017 will probably be as bad as 2017. To that end, my coworkers and I have started our own dead pool. We each select 6 people. The number of points you get are based on the likelihood of them dying (the less likely, the more points) and how famous they are and how much angst everyone will have when they die. Here are the ones I’ve selected so
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Dec 22, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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It's Almost Christmas!
dammit kevin

Have any of you guys tried to go ice skating at at the Galleria lately? Holy crap, we went to the Galleria this week just to go skating and the line was literally over an hour long. So, here's my tip to you. Don't try it. Yeah, the big tree is cool but it took us around 30 minutes to park, go in and see the line was too long, and leave. In the end, we went to the Stars Center in Frisco. It was quick, the ice was larger and had a lot less people, and they even had a Christmas tree in the middle! So, that's my holiday tip to you guys. Enjoy. Tonight's quiz was fun. No one has apparently heard of Bitchin' Camaro by Dead Milkmen. I'd say "go look it up kids" but I think it kinda sucks.
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I like turtles


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San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Dec 15, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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It's A Wonderful Quiz
dammit kevin

Tonight’s round on Christmas movies made me start thinking about my personal favorite Christmas movies. When I was younger, my favorite Christmas movie was It’s Wonderful Life. I think that’s because my parents were a lot older than me (no, I mean A LOT – like they were around 50 when I was born). The last few years, I’d say that my favorite is Christmas Vacation. I think it’s my favorite because I somehow identify with Chevy Chase’s character – especially the part about the Christmas lights. If your only experience with Christmas lights has been within the last few years, let me tell you that it’s vastly different now
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I like turtles


  • Quiz Image
San Francisco Rose
3024 Greenville Ave
Dallas, TX
75206
Thursday, Dec 08, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Brass Monkey
dammit kevin

No. That has absolutely nothing to do with tonight’s quiz. But, since it does seem cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey, I started looking up similar phrases on the internet so that I can stop using the same one or two idioms over and over again.  Here’s a list to expand your repertoire: Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey (and it’s actually not what you think – a brass monkey is a triangle that was used on ships with cannons to stack cannon balls - if it got cold enough, they would start falling off and hence the phrase) As cold as a witch’s tit in a brass bra (are brass bras a thing? and why a witch?) Cold
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I like turtles