• Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, July 30, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

There Was Quiz on Thursday
WillSalerno

What is up?   There was a quiz on Thursday, and I was there. You might have been there too. I say that not because I don't remember, but I don't know who is reading this blog. Yes, that makes sense.   Five teams played quiz on Thursday, and the names of those teams are listed to your left. As the list indicates and I also remember, Houston Family Swim Team Reunion won! Congratulations guys and or girls who were on that team.   Rob wore a hat at quiz. That is another memory I have from remembering, not from the pictures someone or I took.   Round 2 was a music round. I played 8 clips from 8 different songs and
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At age 5, Will decided he wanted to be a scientist.

At age 29, Will became a scientist.

At age 30, Will realized he never wanted to be a scientist, he wanted to be in Starfleet.

At age 31, Will determined Starfleet was not an option.

Will is currently pursuing a career as a Time Lord.


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, July 23, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Bidn't Diss A Meat!
WillSalerno

    Let's catch up.   What did I miss? Seems like Laura, Jay, and Stef managed not to drive you all away, so I guess that is good. In fact, turnout was higher last night than it has been in a while. Is it because you knew I was returning or because you assumed I had died? If the former, then thanks! If the latter, then fuck off, you can't kill me.   What did you miss? I was in DC for work, and then before that I forget, and then before that I don't care.    What did people who didn't come to quiz last night miss? Sgt. Trump's Mostly Racist Band had to put up 90 points
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At age 5, Will decided he wanted to be a scientist.

At age 29, Will became a scientist.

At age 30, Will realized he never wanted to be a scientist, he wanted to be in Starfleet.

At age 31, Will determined Starfleet was not an option.

Will is currently pursuing a career as a Time Lord.


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, July 16, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Brains
Stefanie

I'm going to do you guys a favor. I'm going to be nice to you right quick. I feel like maybe that doesn't happen.  I feel like maybe - just maybe - you get abused. And abused often. And that's just not right. You don't have to sit there and be abused week in and week out by your Quizmaster. Unless you're into that sort of thing. Which, apparently, you are. So you know what? Never fucking mind.  I literally just changed my whole entire spiel I was about to impart upon you. (that sounds dirty) I was going to say how brilliant you all are. Seriously - 17 perfect scores
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Well hi there, thanks for stopping by.

You look lovely today.

My name's Stefanie, I'm from Dallas originally and have been hanging out in Houston for almost three years now and love this giant, beautiful city and all it has to offer. 

I went to Texas State University and hung out for a while in Austin, so I guess you could say I get around.

I enjoy long walks on the beach and lying about things I enjoy.

Feel free to bring me presents, buy me beers, and tell me I'm pretty. 

Follow me on:

Instagram

Spotify

Facebook


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, July 09, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Fill 'er up and park 'er 'round back for me
Jay O ... JA - A - A - O!

There you are, Will, I filled in for ya and left the seat as clean as I found it.....yeah. Nice to meet you all!  You guys are totes smarts! I had a great time filling in for Will tonight and meeting and seeing so many smart peoples from around town.  I am from the country but came city side as soon as I could.  There was lots of suburb hate but mostly in fun and the quiz would be what I consider a good B+.  An A would be super easy and everyone one should get an A. A “D” would be too hard for drinking during, if you know what I mean.  A good B+ is what we had tonight but you guys brought your “A” students! The winners
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I am the QuizMaster for Baker St Pub in the Woodlands and it is such a great place!

I live in Humble 'neath the wonderful shushing of the IAH planes all damned day and night. I work all over Houston as an IT Tech.  I LOVE people! I love being on a mic! And I LOOOOVE making people happy! 

I've got a wife and kiddoes so I prolly won't be making it to many other quizzes but if you come see mine I promise you'll have a good time and I will too!

I don't think my keyboard can do may more exclamation marks ... oh wait !!!!! Yep, there's some more!  

Thanks for looking at my bio!


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, July 02, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Willemina
L

Hey Hefley's! It was fun being your sassy overlord and not just another competitor. I hope you enjoyed the feminine twist. I hope you enjoyed someone being nice to you for a change. Smiling. Drinking out of a respectable pint glass. Generally not ruining your evening.   Though probably not. I mean you keep coming back week after week for the abuse. I can't really throw stones, I play with you guys too. What's our deal? Why do we accept the quiz we think we deserve? Maybe we do deserve this. I mean I sure could use to be knocked down a peg or two.    I wonder why that is. Maybe my parents were awful. Did you guys have awful parents? Mine were actually
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I started quizzing way back in 2009 in a little 'ol town called Austin, TX. After making the move to Houston, I became a regular quizzer at Little Woodrow's Rice Village on Tuesday nights. It's more fun to win when you're beating grad students and doctors. A year went by, and I grew into quite the quiz addict. It was time to up the ante. I needed to be closer to the quiz action. At the auditions, I fought other contestants to the death to achieve an unexpected, well-fought victory. I now host Monday and Tuesday evenings while drinking delicious beer to forget the things I did to get here.

Before my quiz life, I attended school in San Antonio, where I became an English major and a rabid Spurs fan. During the day I work as a private tutor and professional taco slinger. When not engaged in any of these wonderful occupations, you'll find me buried in a book somewhere or out and about with my Australian Shepherd, Jam. I can even be spotted playing quiz on a Wednesday or Thursday. I can't quit you, quiz.

Join me for all my hosting smart-assery at Neil's Bahr Monday nights in East Downtown or in Rice Village at Little Woodrow's on Tuesdays. 


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, June 25, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Return of the Blog About Jedi
WillSalerno

ALWAYS STAR WARS ALWAYS   Great crowd last night at Hefley's, which was a relief after my near-death hosting last week. Also, a great quiz. For the fuck*** ass***es at GWD who write these questions, everyone seemed to dig the "Name the Second Place Thing For 2 Points" round. And why wouldn't they? It is essentially a bunch of free points. So good job.   Thirty-Fun! won, and that is all that happened.   SCOTUS Declares Will and Jamey Gay Married changed their team name for the better, but still only got second without Jamey.    Alaskan Thunderfuck (I
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At age 5, Will decided he wanted to be a scientist.

At age 29, Will became a scientist.

At age 30, Will realized he never wanted to be a scientist, he wanted to be in Starfleet.

At age 31, Will determined Starfleet was not an option.

Will is currently pursuing a career as a Time Lord.


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, June 18, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

My Bad
WillSalerno

I was ill last night.   Many new and rare faces at quiz last night, which is a shame because I was not feeling well at all. Usually my quiz at Hefley's is like going to a live taping of the Daily Show but instead of Jon Stewart it is Vin Diesel and instead of a live taping of the Daily Show it is a live re-enactment of Tokyo Drift. Plus Batman shows up. THAT is what quiz is normally like.   Quiz normally does not have me cursing at you all so much to STFU. Quiz normally does not have so much Bjorkness. Quiz normally does not have #christianlivesmatter being so considerate of my feelings.   Quiz normally DOES
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At age 5, Will decided he wanted to be a scientist.

At age 29, Will became a scientist.

At age 30, Will realized he never wanted to be a scientist, he wanted to be in Starfleet.

At age 31, Will determined Starfleet was not an option.

Will is currently pursuing a career as a Time Lord.


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, June 11, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Lazy Regulars
WillSalerno

Finally, you do my bidding.   Every week I end this blog demanding you cads make me laugh. Every week I start quiz in a fantastic mood, primed to be entertained by your clever antics. Every week I end quiz sad and disappointed in how unfunny you all are. And every week I start this blog wondering how I can convince you to make me laugh next week.   Screw all of you. Quizteama Aguilera were (I think) new to Hefley's quiz last night, and made me laugh thrice, and they probably never even read my blog imperatives.   Quizteama Aguilera is a hilarious
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At age 5, Will decided he wanted to be a scientist.

At age 29, Will became a scientist.

At age 30, Will realized he never wanted to be a scientist, he wanted to be in Starfleet.

At age 31, Will determined Starfleet was not an option.

Will is currently pursuing a career as a Time Lord.


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, June 04, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Sorry, Surly
WillSalerno

Shut Up. May was a busy month. I was gone quite a bit for work as an actual scientist, unlike all those assholes who have been watching Going Clear. Big actual thanks to Clayton for covering for me, and to my regulars for their patience with my absence. I know it has been a difficult time. However, when I read the team name We Miss Surly Bearded Will I was actually confused for a moment. Did this team want me to grow my beard back? Turns out that while yes, they do, "Surly Bearded Will" was in fact a reference to Clayton. There is no way Clayton is surlier than I am, and we are both offended at the thought. What is even more offensive is how low my
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At age 5, Will decided he wanted to be a scientist.

At age 29, Will became a scientist.

At age 30, Will realized he never wanted to be a scientist, he wanted to be in Starfleet.

At age 31, Will determined Starfleet was not an option.

Will is currently pursuing a career as a Time Lord.


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, May 28, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

When the whole bar watched the spelling bee.
Metta World Pizza

Hello.   Thanks for having me again.   It was nice to be here.   I'm familiar with this.   That is always helpful.   I'm glad I'm so good at this.   You should be too.   I didn't mispronounce words.   I fucking crushed everything about this.   It felt good.   And I'm happy with that.   I genuinely do hope you enjoyed it as well.   It matters.   Not much.   But it does.   Will is back
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I read great


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, May 21, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Speed Quiz
WillSalerno

Who is looking at this blog?   It's Enrico Palazzo won, beating Rockets In 4 by a single point. Speaking of single point, the Rockets lost by that number Thursday. I like running quiz during a sporting event. NBA is too damn slow to pay rapt attention to every play and whistle, and Quiz is too fucking lame to care about every question or dumb joke I make. But combined, Quiz+NBA is unstoppable kill-two-hours-at-a-bar force. Steph Curry drops a three without moving the net? Let's do Round 3 during the McHale timeout. No one wants to listen to Journey between questions? Well, now you can listen
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At age 5, Will decided he wanted to be a scientist.

At age 29, Will became a scientist.

At age 30, Will realized he never wanted to be a scientist, he wanted to be in Starfleet.

At age 31, Will determined Starfleet was not an option.

Will is currently pursuing a career as a Time Lord.


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, May 14, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

My Objective Opinion
WillSalerno

Shit fucking sucks. First, Excel fucking sucks. I get that individuals might find it useful, but no institution should. You fuck*** ass***es at GWD? Get it to-fucking-gether. Second, Heir To the Jedi, god you suck so fucking hard. Much like the author (Kevin Hearne), who was paid money to WRITE ABOUT STAR WARS, I cannot put a coherent thought together about this book. Here is a list. Hearne took Luke Skywalker and made him more of a bitch and less believable as a hero. Vader:Anakin::Luke from movies:Luke in HTTJ. Way to Lucas it up, you asshole. HTTJ employed an interesting narrative perspective, First Person Ombitchient.
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At age 5, Will decided he wanted to be a scientist.

At age 29, Will became a scientist.

At age 30, Will realized he never wanted to be a scientist, he wanted to be in Starfleet.

At age 31, Will determined Starfleet was not an option.

Will is currently pursuing a career as a Time Lord.


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Thursday, May 07, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

William Jefferson "Bill" Clinton Was Born in Hope, AK
A.

Clinton was born William Jefferson Blythe III on August 19, 1946, at Julia Chester Hospital in Hope, Arkansas.[2][3] His father, William Jefferson Blythe, Jr. (1918–1946), was a traveling salesman who died in an automobile
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  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Friday, April 24, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Joke About Killing Will
Metta World Pizza

Hello Hefleys. Thanks for having me. Will's gonna be back next week. I'm just here trying to read properly. Write poorly. And not fuck things up too much. If I did, then I'm not really sorry. Whatever it's a game. Life goes on. I don't have time to worry about Montana. I guess if you were truly offended then I'll tell Will to give you a hand job. That's the most I can do. I really did enjoy subbing. Something I only do on rare occasions. Because I'm busy. And genuinely have better things to do. Like playing quiz and drinking way more. Hopefully I'll see you soon. Just
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I read great


  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Saturday, April 18, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Janksaber
The Greatest Quizmaster Of All Time

J.J. is boss of all snacks. Before I started quiz Thursday I offered to cancel and instead just lead a two-hour conversation about the Star Wars trailer that dropped. The strong (but not unanimous) decision was to proceed with quiz, so we will have the discussion now. When the first trailer came out, I voiced my concerns about the cross-saber. (I also suggested that J.J. buy us snacks, which he did. Thanks, bro.) I said the design was impractical and that it looked a bit janky. Turns out I was correct. Here is
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  • Quiz Image
Hefley's
138 W Gray St
Houston, TX
77019
Saturday, April 11, 2015
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

The Universe Is Shaped Exactly Like The Earth
The Greatest Quizmaster Of All Time

Flat and cold, as is your mom. If you hang around quiz long enough, team names start to repeat themselves. Trying to be clever every week is exhausting, even for me. Last night we had a bevy of great team names, and I want you all to know how much I appreciate it. Every week I end the blog with an imperative to make me laugh, and last night you all delivered. 3 More Til Fas10 Furious: Like the Fast and Furious movies, this name works on multiple levels. Unlike the Fast and Furious movies, these boners shit the bed at the end, failing to deliver on the perfect game they had through Round 7. Blueberry Nipples: Just a wonderful combination
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