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Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO
80203
[Thursday 8:00 pm]
Thursday, May 14, 2015
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Paradise By The Adult Arcade Lights
Yurp!

We ended up being a few hours too early to reap the team name rewards of the death of a certain blooze “legend,” unfortunately. I’ll spare you guys the Facebook rant I went on last night about it; suffice to say, my disparaging opinions on the subject of BB King’s death were pretty unpopular. I don’t know, I’m just like, fuck that wildly-overrated snake oil salesman and the entire, vast white-boy-blooze-bar-bullshit subculture that sprang up in his masturbatory wake. And fuck the artificial “sadness” that people express about famous people dying. That dude was 89 years old: Quit feigning emotion over an elderly millionaire who probably
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I definitely do NOT have an Illuminati Eye branded in the place where my penis used to be, SO DON"T BOTHER CHECKING!


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Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO
80203
[Thursday 8:00 pm]
Thursday, May 07, 2015
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How To Shave A Wife
Yurp!

Oh, The Fray. If there was any doubt as to the legacy Colorado’s own hometown zeros were courting, let that doubt be soothed by the fact that they’re opening for Train at Red Rocks this summer. I’d say that pretty much seals their fate in the Schlock Rock Hall of Fuck This Garbage, but what do I know? My taste in music is completely suspect, as you’ll know if you’ve heard my quiz playlists filled with girl pop, deep house and Deep South rap tracks. All I’m tryna say is that Colorado deserves a better “our band” than that buncha oatmealy, sub-Coldplay, hair-product-abusers.
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I definitely do NOT have an Illuminati Eye branded in the place where my penis used to be, SO DON"T BOTHER CHECKING!


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Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO
80203
[Thursday 8:00 pm]
Thursday, April 30, 2015

I definitely do NOT have an Illuminati Eye branded in the place where my penis used to be, SO DON"T BOTHER CHECKING!


  • Quiz Image
Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO
80203
[Thursday 8:00 pm]
Saturday, April 25, 2015
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It's My Deathday Party And I'll Lay Here Motionless If I Want To
The Greatest Quizmaster Of All Time

People and things mentioned in last night’s quiz who are on my shitlist and why: James Kraft for inventing American “cheese.” Although its bland, artificial, flavorless, uniform mush has become the perfect food-based nutrition item to represent this unfortunate nation of ours, you didn’t have to start that cheese-adjacent mockery ball rolling, James. (Although I will admit to grudgingly appreciating Kraft Mac ‘N’ Cheeze Dinner [or whatever they call it now] when a certain combination of nostalgia and green smoke hit me just right.) Boondock Saints for being the most bafflingly-overrated
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Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO
80203
[Thursday 8:00 pm]
Saturday, April 18, 2015
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To All The Girls I've Made Awkward And Uncomfortable Small Talk With Before
The Greatest Quizmaster Of All Time

I kept waiting for the snow to let up before I left my house; that never happened. This meant I was collecting about a half inch of fresh powder brah on my person every block I walked. I definitely wanted to just give up and lay down in traffic a few times, but I was walking down 7th Ave., so it would have taken awhile before any cars ran me over. What I’m saying is, fuck this April snow bullshit. Good times last night. Hadn’t seen Tina in a minute, hi Tina. Krupas gave me a ride home, saving me from another snow-covered walk and giving me a chance to bend their ear. You guys know. And we all got to experience the wonder of that one dude.
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Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO
80203
[Thursday 8:00 pm]
Friday, April 10, 2015
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Squirrel Nut Fondlers
The Greatest Quizmaster Of All Time

Ah, it was like being at the Snug three years ago. See, the two teams tied fro first last night were the two teams that would invariably be at the top of the heap when I used to be posted at the Irish Snug back in the day. Fitting, then, that same said teams had to work out a dead tie in OT, with Chicago Sunroofs (nice BCS ref, btw) taking it after the first sudden death question. Now, those teams, they might be friendly to each other on the face of things, but something tells me their years-old rivalry still secretly burns somewhere deep inside of them, like the buried coals of a forgotten beach bonfire, smoldering until an unwitting 4-year-old tries to build a sandcastle
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Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO
80203
[Thursday 8:00 pm]
Friday, April 03, 2015
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Roofies Is For The Children
The Greatest Quizmaster Of All Time

I think along with fatalities and animalities and babalities, Mortal Kombat should have a closing move called a flirtality. Like if Sub-Zero and Scorpion are fighting, at the end Sub-Z makes a dozen roses out of ice and instead of disemboweling anyone with them, he just hands them to Scorpion who just gets those cartoon hearts in his eyes. Then, while Scorpion’s distracted by infatuation, Sub-Zero rips his actual heart out and punches it through Scorpion’s actual eyes, this being Mortal Kombat after all. Gonna keep this one short this week because stuff to do. Hot ‘sups to the money getters and to all y’all else for coming out. I’ll see
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Moe's BBQ North (Denver)
530 Broadway
Denver, CO
80203
[Thursday 8:00 pm]
Saturday, March 28, 2015
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Signed, Sealed, Accidentallly Delivered To Your Old Address Which Is Now A Crack Den
The Greatest Quizmaster Of All Time

It may seem like a cliché at this point to talk shit on her shitty talking, but seriously: what fucking railed-out maniac TV executive decided it was a good idea to give Fran Drescher her own talk show? To put that in sports terms, it would be as crazy as an MLB team hiring a guy with one arm as pitcher. Or a guy with no legs deciding to be an Olympic runner. Or a really short dude (like, say, 5'3") getting a job in the NBA. All of those scenarios are obviously ridiculous and could never happen in the real world. And yet, somehow, Fran Drescher is able to overcome the handicap of having the worst speaking voice to ever crawl up the spine of the American
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