• Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, May 25, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

All About Me
Monstar Blanko

Jacksonians,  Consider this my introduction as your Quiz Master. My name is Will, I am originally from Houston Texas and have relocated to Denver about a year ago. I love TV, and Movies, wrote a lengthy thesis about Zombie films. I played football in college, and am a die hard sports fan. My Chicago Cubs finally did it and I got a tattoo, as I promised I would do when I was younger. My favorite TV show is Scrubs, and am fairly well off book on it and the Office. I started hosting Quiz in Austin over a year ago in Austin TX. I have an amazing girlfriend Shae, who is moving up to Denver after a year apart in a few weeks. I'm incredibly lucky to have such a funny, beautiful
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  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, May 18, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

We Like To Do It The Old-Fashioned Way...
Elise

…with the lights off after a few cocktails. Just kidding. Maybe. The lights were on, but tonight at Jackson’s you all got to run your QuizMistress hoarse through the talking and the enunciation. I’m so glad we got to share our analog experience, it was like freshly-pressed vinyl, with the smells, and the drinking, and the bleary raccoon-eyes of a night well-done.   Through rounds all about Browns (Bitch, I’m from Cleveland) and saying the “f” word, the realizations that one should know something because they are French, and endlessly singing the Kit-Kat bar song, we quizzed gloriously and with vigor. Leonardo DiCaprio bonus question
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Elise (n): a real life muppet.

Hailing from the great state of Ohio (O-H...I-O!), Elise moved to Denver in May of 2016 and lived in New Mexico for 11 years before that. As such, she believes that the nickname the "Land of Entrapment" for New Mexico no longer applies.

Things Elise can't live without: Diet Coke, good grammar, an exorbitant number of shoes, the Muppets and other various Jim Henson creations, a Downbeat on the One, and the never-ending yet enjoyable search for the perfect Bordeaux. Practice makes perfect...

More often than not, she can name that tune in 2 notes, Tom.


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, May 11, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

The Sub Life for me
Jeremy "Murder She Wrote" C

It has been a while since I have subbed. There is nothing more exciting than walking into a venue that you've never set up before and learning all the little quirks of the place. It's like having the first day all over again. Even after 5 years of hosting, it was nice to feel that excitement of a new venue again. New jitters, new screw ups, not knowing the teams personally, all the tiny things you take for granted when you have a venue for a long time. Last night was so much fun. I know we had some new people and some veterans of quiz. Thank you for welcoming me into Jackson's and treating me like you've known me forever.    Congratulations to Three's Company
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Hello, my name is Jeremy and I'm a geek who drinks. What does it mean to be a geek who drinks? I have random knowledge on things like music. I can quote Pulp Fiction like it's no one's business. On my GPS Darth Vader tells me where to go. That's the fun part. The bad part is I also drink. When I drink, I write blogs that have the word "fuck" in it a lot. I make up stories of things that happened in my mind. I also delete my own bio and really don't remember doing it. Thankfully though, I never sucked dick for coke. That was Bob Saget. 

The moral of the story, it's ok to be a geek who drinks, in fact I encourage it. I encourage you to come down to my venue on a Monday and drink it out with me. I'll quiz you, you give me right answers, and don't be a dick and shout anything out. 


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, May 04, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

I Am Not a Raccoon and Other Beastly Musings…
Elise

Tonight at Jackson’s, we quizzed. Johnny was away, so we banded together and learned things we didn’t know before, including:   - Sandra Day O’Connor is in the National Cowgirl Hall of Fame (Yeehaw!) - Not everyone knows the Pythagorean theorem - M.A.S.H. was not set during Vietnam - We should rally for changing the name of Buffalo, NY to Bison, NY and then we could all take a trip up through Bison, and also talk about all the snow that falls on Bison, and how we stood on the Bison side of Niagara Falls - No one of you (not even you!), thought about or got excited about Carl Weathers in the last 20 years until tonight.
[ ...more... ]

Elise (n): a real life muppet.

Hailing from the great state of Ohio (O-H...I-O!), Elise moved to Denver in May of 2016 and lived in New Mexico for 11 years before that. As such, she believes that the nickname the "Land of Entrapment" for New Mexico no longer applies.

Things Elise can't live without: Diet Coke, good grammar, an exorbitant number of shoes, the Muppets and other various Jim Henson creations, a Downbeat on the One, and the never-ending yet enjoyable search for the perfect Bordeaux. Practice makes perfect...

More often than not, she can name that tune in 2 notes, Tom.


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Apr 27, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Take The Lions Candlepin Bowling
Cousin Chet

Candlepin bowling. It’s about as fun as it sounds. Which is not very. But again this is something popular in the Northeast, so you can get why something so boring could become a regional pastime for them. It’s either that or drink cheap beer and think about which river you want to drown yourself in. So, candlepin bowling it is! I want to say that I think that Maryland has the right idea with their theater lion ban. I mean, it’s just commonsense. Everyone knows that lions love to talk during the movie and yell out spoilers. Also they chew on the seats and go to really terrible movies, ensuring those crappy movies get sequels. Why do you think we have so many Fast and
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Apr 20, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

If We Give Him A Sock Does That Free Him And Make Him Go Away
Cousin Chet

Who is Ed Sheeran? Why is he suddenly everywhere? Why can’t I tell the difference between him and Sam Smith, James Blunt, and all the other generic English soft rockers out there right now? The only thing I know for sure is that he looks a very handsy hobbit. Like the kind Samwise wouldn’t leave his wife alone with at a party. Or his kids for that matter. He’s sort of the Bill O’Reilly of the Shire. He also kind of looks like a Fraggle. And even without any modifiers, that’s not a good thing. Oh well, I don’t understand the popular music of today. You know what I do understand? That MST3K is back and that’s the greatest thing going
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Apr 13, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

R. Kelly Ain't Nothing But A Creepo
Cousin Chet

You want to know something fun about the Aaliyah song Age Ain’t Nothin’ But A Number? It was written for her by R. Kelly. Right about the time he married her. When she was 15. Yeah… R. Kelly is a creepy dude. A really fucking creepy dude. But also a really great songwriter. I mean he even wrote the song You Are Not Alone for Michael Jackson right about the same time as MJ was being investigated for… ah fuck. Yeah. There’s nothing we can do to polish this turd. Sorry, Robert. You are just really fucking awful. It’s disappointing that we didn’t include the single greatest song about drinking ever in our audio round on songs about booze. That
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Apr 06, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Next Week We Are Giving Away 100 Dollars
Cousin Chet

Do you ever have an experience that completely changes how you view everything? One where the entire world looks different after it happens? The air tastes better. Colors are more vibrant. Everything is just… More. Well, I had an experience like that on Monday. I learned that for whatever reason NBA players love the Cheesecake Factory. Now first of all, let’s all take a moment to remember Cheesecake Factory. I don’t know about you, but I can’t say that I’ve been there since George W. Bush was in office. I basically remember that the menu was more a catalogue than a menu with what some might considered too many items (I know Gordon Ramsey would
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Mar 30, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

To Rattigan!
Cousin Chet

I for one have never forgotten The Great Mouse Detective. In case you have, It’s basically Sherlock Holmes with mice. In fact, the mouse detective in question lives in a hole underneath Sherlock’s apartment on Baker Street. And he was named Basil after Basil Rathbone the first funny named British actor to play Sherlock (Eat it, Cumberbatch!). And the villain, Rattigan, is essentially Moriarty. And he’s played by Vincent Price. Vincent Fucking Price. And if that isn’t good enough for you, there’s a really creepy bat henchman who works for Rattigan and will scare the piss out of any child. Especially the part when he kidnaps the little girl mouse while hiding
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Mar 09, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Somebody Should Have Told You To Shut Up
Cousin Chet

Whoever decided it was a good idea to mash up Smash Mouth and Third Eye Blind? That’s like mashing up herpes and cancer. Bill Cosby with Roman Polanski. Donald Trump with a Donald Trump clone with less consciousness of other people’s boundaries. I mean, shit, I’m pretty sure they updated the Geneva Convention to keep something like this from happening. This is a war crime. This is what Freddy Krueger has nightmares about. I guess what I’m trying to get at is that those songs suck and putting them together doesn’t make them better.
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Mar 02, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

I Don't Care For Your Favorite Band
Cousin Chet

Why does Coldplay still exist? Why? What the fuck good have they ever done for anyone? I remember their first album and one review that explained it in a way that would encapsulate their entire career: “Music for bedwetters.” Yes. Yes. And Yes again. Christ Martin is a human Tylenol PM. Everything about them is boring and generic. It’s not music, it’s a place holder for a waiting room. I sometimes wonder if there are artists out there who make music specifically made for being played in the background at department stores, dentist offices, H & R Block. And then I remember that all those bands sweating it out in the garage hoping for elevator success have already
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Feb 23, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

I Saw The Sign And It Said Those Guys Are Creepy
Cousin Chet

So, you might not believe me, and I’m not saying I believe it one hundred percent, but the argument for Ace of Bass being a Nazi propaganda band. First of all, one of the members was in a Nazi propaganda band in the ‘80s. That’s just a fact. The band billed itself as Nationalists and Neo-Nazis. There’s no disputing that point. Then there’s the situation of their name. Ace of Bass. Pretty innocuous sounding dance band from Europe in the early ‘90s. However, it becomes less generic when you know about the U-Boat station during World War II where all the best Nazi U-Boat captains were stationed. It was called the Bass of Aces. That’s a pretty fucking
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Feb 16, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Nuclear Waste And Vermouth: Two Things That Don't Belong In My Martini
Cousin Chet

Yes, it is illegal to dump nuclear waste in the Antarctic. So please stop doing it. I mean, why did you think this was okay to begin with? Are you a Captain Planet Villain? Do you just really hate penguins? Or are you just evil? No matter what, please just stop doing it. I am disturbed that there is even such a thing as an “upside down” martini. Vermouth, if used at all in a martini, should simply be used to coat the inside of the glass. I will tolerate even a splash of it. But in general, when I make a martini, I wave the bottle of vermouth near the glass, then throw it away, and drink the vodka or gin. That’s how you make a fucking martini. In my humble opinion. That’s
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Feb 09, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

I Also Regret Garfield
Cousin Chet

Coffee and Cigarettes is a wonderful movie. That pretty much no one has seen. It’s a film by Jim Jarmusch and it’s a series of vignettes of different people, mostly playing themselves, having coffee and cigarettes. Hence the title. Now the clip we played last night is of Cate Blanchett and her identical cousin. Yep, I said that right. It’s a pretty funny scene. There’s a lot of other great parts. This includes a scene of Tom Waits and Iggy Pop finding a pack of smokes and even though both of them haven’t smoked in years, they decide to have one. And the scene where Alfred Molina and Steve Coogan  discuss their family tree. And of course, the fucking
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Feb 02, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

And Here Come The Pretzels!
Cousin Chet

They Live is one of the greatest movies ever made. And it is more important now than it has ever been. It’s about aliens that are trying to take over the Earth by posing as yuppies and hiding hidden messages telling us to obey and consume. And the aliens are hideous freaks with weird skin. Plus it features one of the greatest extended fistfights over a pair of sunglasses you have ever seen. I think you should just go watch it now. That said, I’m going to watch it too. See you next time.
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
Jackson's All American Sports Grill (Greenwood Village)
7939 E Arapahoe Rd #190
Greenwood Village, CO
80112
Thursday, Jan 26, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

And Here Come The Pretzels!
Cousin Chet

Seriously, what the hell ever happened to Bazooka Joe’s eye? Does anyone know? How does a teenager end up in an eyepatch? Was he in a gang fight? Did he lie about his age and volunteer for Vietnam? Venereal disease from a Russian prostitute peeing in it? Someone tell me what the fuck happened to his eye. All I know is that I no longer have any reason to chew Bazooka bubblegum. I only bought it for the comics to begin with. Now, I have no reason to chew it. And I have no answers about what happened to his eye. It really pisses me off. Alright, we’re keeping things brief today. I’m on the case of another big case right now; figuring out exactly how many people have
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan