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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jul 20, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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See You In The Car
Cousin Chet

Well, that’s it, kids. Our last quiz at the Logan Wrangler. But let’s not be sad. In a few weeks we’ll be in our new digs at 31st and Downing. And it’s going to be awesome. In the meantime, we’ll just have a few Wednesdays to gaze into the abyss. Or maybe go outside or something. I’ll probably just sleep. So, Melania Trump sure likes to plagiarize stuff, huh? Almost as much as you enjoy having team names about Melania plagiarizing stuff. I was going to write a whole blog that was just Michelle Obama’s biography with Melania’s name inserted into it. But then I decided I was lazy and wanted to just talk about doing that. Which
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jul 13, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Do You Hear The People Quiz?
Cousin Chet

I feel like Sweeney Todd could have supplied us with most of the people singing who can’t sing round. I mean, Helena Bonham Carter, Johnny Depp, and Alan Rickman? None of those people should be singing ever. And yes, I know Rickman is dead but that doesn’t change the fact that he couldn’t sing for shit. Yep, Professor Snape did not have the sort of voice that you wanted to hear sing show tunes. There I said it, and I refuse to take it back. Of all the late night talk show hosts over the years, my favorite will always be simple to name. It’s Space Ghost. Space Ghost is the only talk show you could ever need. Especially if you smoked a lot of pot in the ‘90s
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jul 06, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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How Did I Forget Over The Top?
Cousin Chet

What’s your favorite Sly Stallone movie? I know that’s a nearly impossible question to answer. I mean, it’s like asking who your favorite member of Bush’s cabinet was. The answer to that for me is obviously Wolfiwitz. I mean the way he licked that comb before using it? Awesome. Simply awesome. But favorite Stallone movie? That’s tough. My gut instinct is Cobra. Because crime is a disease a Cobra’s the cure. Pls I like tough cops in aviator sunglasses and leather jackets. In movies, not in real life. But then there’s Cliffhanger. That movie just fucking rules. And we can’t forget about Demolition Man. But we can forget about Judge Dredd. That
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jun 29, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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And Here Come The Pretzels
Cousin Chet

I like you love Ferris Bueller. At least I did until I recently found out that the real life Ferris is an asshole. You see, the screenplay was based on a real life teen who was great at getting away with crazy shit and known throughout his town for being the coolest kid alive. And then he grew up. And got a job working for George W. Bush. Yep! Good old Ferris went on to be a Bush crony. Now, it’s less that he was a loveable scamp and more of a manipulative douchebag. So, that’s why I try not to invest too much in ‘80s movies. All I’m saying that if A Bug’s Life and Life of Pi were made into the same movie is that the ant would be fucked. That’s simply
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jun 22, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Apologies To Willie Nelson
Cousin Chet

Yeah, when we said we weren’t going to ask what was in Mr. Nelson’s BioWillie, I automatically assumed it was semen. I mean, I assume that anything with the word Willie in it will definitely contain cum. That’s why I never saw Free Willy. I didn’t want to see gallons of killer whale jizz on the screen. And now that SeaWorld is getting rid of the killer whale tanks, I think I made the right decision. Okay, serious time. Last night we raised 270 dollars for Equality Florida. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Company wide, Geeks Who Drink has raised around ten thousand dollars. And I am very happy that The Denver Wrangler could be a part of
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jun 15, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Passion Of The Christ 2: The Squeakqueal
Cousin Chet

So, Mel Gibson is planning a sequel to the Passion of the Christ. Now, I’m no expert and I was half drunk on tequila when I saw it. And the group of church ladies sitting behind me weren’t too entertained with our laughing and comments during the film. But I’m pretty sure the Jesus guy was dead at the end. And I don’t remember a lot from my Catholic boyhood, and I know he came back afterwards, but I don’t remember him doing a whole lot when he did. In fact, if I remember my King Missile, most  of what he did was come back, danced around a little and then went up to heaven. Which admittedly is way cool. But I don’t see that being a lot of material for
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jun 08, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Yahoo Serious!
Cousin Chet

I vaguely remember the legend of Young Einstein. It was a strange time when America had a love of foreign comedians with ridiculous made up names. Enter Yahoo Serious. His magnum opus movie was one Young Einstein, that I want to keep writing as Young Frankenstein, which was a way better movie. But anyway, Young Einstein was about the inventor’s early life as a farmer in Tasmania (yes, I know). He accidentally discovers the Theory of Relativity while trying to perfect beer bubbles. Then he invents rock music, surfing, dates Marie Curie, and save Paris from a nuclear bomb. It’s popularity is partly to blame for the current Texas public school system. After that he didn’t do
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jun 01, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Boston Is Filled With Horrible Garbage Monsters
Cousin Chet

So, I want to address a controversy from last night real quick. No it’s not the weird stuff I did in the parking lot after quiz. It’s the Wade Boggs thing. So, Wade was at Fenway last week for the retirement of his number. He played for the Red Sox for a while and then he played for the Yankees. And he won a World Series with the Yankees. Now, when he went to Fenway, he wore his Red Sox jersey. And he wore his World Series ring. From when he won with the Yankees. Now, Red Sox are not the most tolerant people in the world. I’m not sure if you knew that, but it’s true. In addition to being horrible garbage people from Boston, they really hate the Yankees. In fact if you
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, May 25, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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That Thing I Do!
Cousin Chet

Tom Everett Scott. What the fuck ever happened to that guy? I mean I know I could look it up, but I’m too lazy for that. I’ve always thought that with that name, he should have always been a greying middle aged father on a vaguely Christian WB show in the ‘90s. Seriously, something with a  title like Spruce Town, Keeping the Faith, Trees and Hills and Not Fucking Before Marriage. I mean the name just screams that. Tom Everett Scott. That doesn’t scream hip teenage drummer in a 1960’s rock band. That said, That Thing You Do is one of my favorite movies ever. I love it. Liv Tyler, Tom Hanks, Steve Zahn, that one guy from Vegas Vacation, that other guy
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Only '90s Kids Are Horrible Idiots
Cousin Chet

Yes, I remember the song Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Deep Blue Something. Fuck you very much, millennials. It was a very popular song in the ‘90s. It was a simpler time. There had only been one war in Iraq, Friends was convincing us all that we could live comfortably with no money in Manhattan, and our biggest concern regarding the president was whether or not he was getting his dick sucked in the Oval Office. And on the radio, we were jamming to Breakfast at Tiffany’s. And that one song by Del Amitri that I can barely remember. I know that in the video they were all creepy babies in strollers with their adult heads. It was fucking weird. But it was the ‘90s. We were
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Hey! Listen!
Cousin Chet

Ocarina of Time is the greatest game ever made. Period. If anyone ever tries to tell you different, you punch them in the throat. I mean, is there any other game that convinced you to go out and buy  a stupid instrument like an ocarina? No, I didn’t think so. There is one major shortcoming of the game. That is of course Navi. God I fucking hate Navi. There has never been a feature in a game that was trying to help you that you hated so much. Probably because of the constant “Hey! Listen!” that she shouted at you. That shit gets old real fucking quick. Alright, so I’m a bit distracted today. Riot Fest just announced today that the Misfits are going to be
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, May 04, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Jesse Tuggle
Cousin Chet

Jesse Tuggle. With a name like that, how did he never do porn? I mean that is a pretty great porn name. I mean, yeah he was a college football guy, but couldn’t he also do porn? I mean, there’s no guarantee that being a great college player translates into being a great NFL player (Hi, Johnny Manziel!), so why not do some porn. I mean, I’m not speaking from experience and even if I was good luck ever finding it, but you can make some pretty decent money doing porn. Even just amateur webcam stuff. So, Jesse, if you’re still out there and still in decent shape, there are worse ways to make a buck. I’ve always had kind of a weird relationship with the movie
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Apr 27, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Love Can Not Save You, Padme
Cousin Chet

Alright yes, The scene between Padme and Anakin at the end of Star Wars Episode III is less a breakup and more a murder. But, there are lots of ways to break up with someone. You can tell them it’s not them it’s you, you can leave them a note after you move all of your stuff out of the their apartment while they are at work (True story! Happened to me. But I’m not bitter), you can even leave them a voicemail saying it’s over. Or you can force choke them out of existence. Now I know that that sounds callous, but it definitely has its upsides. I mean, you’re not going to run into them at Starbucks or at Toschie Station while picking up power converters.
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Apr 20, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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These Are People Who Died
Cousin Chet

It’s been a rough year for celebrities. And it’s only getting rougher. I know that every single website you’ve clicked on today has been talking about Prince and I’m sure you’d like a break from that. Well, too bad. I don’t have much to add to the conversation. He was a legend. He was crazy. He wrote great music. He had incredible style. And he pissed off Tipper Gore. Which is always a great thing. So, goodbye you freaky weirdo. You will be missed. The two that are still hurting me the most are two of favorite artists of all time. Lemmy and David Bowie. My high school years were filled with tons of Bowie. Music, films, other stuff. And Lemmy,, well
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Apr 13, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Cuts Like A Knife
Cousin Chet

I don’t really know about Bryan Adams. Yeah, he says he canceled his North Carolina show because he was disgust by their anti-LGBTQ bill. But is that really the reason? Wouldn’t a more sensible reason be that it’s no longer 1993 and no one gives a shit anymore? Did they notice that they had only sold four tickets for the show and piggybacked off of Springsteen’s stance? I mean, the gesture is nice and all, but that doesn’t make him any less Bryan Adams. Just my thoughts on the subject. So, everybody’s favorite TV show trivia joke is pretty obvious. I’m not talking about the Geeks Who Drink TV show hosted by Zachary Levy. That’s just our
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Apr 06, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Bennie!
Cousin Chet

Okay, Fly Away Home. I never saw that movie. And I’m too lazy to look it up. But a lot of you seemed really excited about it. And from what I could gather from the clip, it was about a girl who saved a duck or a goose or something. Now, if I am correct in thinking that it was a goose, I don’t think this movie was as uplifting as some of you were trying to tell me. Because, and this is a scientific fact, geese are fucking assholes. I lived in an apartment that had a manmade lake in the center of the complex and the thing was always surrounded by geese. And guess what? They were dicks. They shit everywhere. They chased children. The tried to fight dogs. And sometimes they would just
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan