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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
[Wednesday 8:00 pm]
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For The Love Of God, Stay Out Of Staten Island
Cousin Chet

So, here’s a fun story. There once was a young man named Peter Segel. For a time he was a struggling screenwriter. He spent a fair amount of time working on a screenplay about the Cuban revolution of the 1950s. It was an important drama, seen through the eyes of the everyday people caught up in the struggle. It was a powerful script. But the studios didn’t especially appreciate the film and started putting tweaks to it. Doing things like adding a love story at the center of the film. And then they just decided, fuck it. And that’s when the film became Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights. And that movie sucked. I mean, it was really fucking bad. But don’t
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
[Wednesday 8:00 pm]
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Does Carson Daly Still Host A Show
Cousin Chet

Yeah, I don’t find Jimmy Fallon to be funny. I didn’t think he was funny on SNL and I don’t think he’s funny now. I get it, Jimmy, you remember the ‘90s. In a way though he is the absolute heir apparent to Jay Leno. Because Jay Leno wasn’t very funny either. So I guess ultimately it is a good choice for the Tonight Show. I mean, I can just keep on watching Letterman and The Daily Show… Aw, fuck. You know what is amazing? Kevin Pollack has made a 40 year career out of impersonating Christopher Walken. It’s true! He’s been doing it since the ‘80s and he gets booked on talk shows and comedy
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, May 06, 2015
[Wednesday 8:00 pm]
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We All Did Stupid Things In The '90s
Cousin Chet

Hey there, how have you been? Did you see Age of Ultron five times since I saw you last? Yeah, I bet you did. Wasn’t it cool when Vision did that one thing with that other thing? Sorry we have to talk in code, but I think there are three people with internet access who still haven’t seen the movie yet. Ben Affleck’s probably one of them. So, about that Robert Downey, Jr. thing; apparently he is really sick and tired about being asked about when used to smoke crack. I can understand where he’s coming from. I mean, he’s been sober for like fifteen years at least now. Maybe they should stop asking him about it during his
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Friday, May 01, 2015
[Wednesday 8:00 pm]
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Show Tunes
Cousin Chet

The Swedish Chef singing Broadway show tunes is one of my favorite things ever. And I know  lot of you enjoyed it too. But I know one person who enjoys more than anyone else. My boss. We got a surprise visit from some special Geeks Who Drink people. I’m just kidding, they aren’t that special, except for the ones responsible for my pay who may be reading this now, who are in fact incredibly important and special. Also, they’re the coolest people I know. And I wish I could be more like them! But goddam does my boss love show tunes. I mean, a lot. This is a man who had Fiddler’s “Tradition” as his ringtone. And some people once hired a Rick Astley
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Thursday, April 23, 2015
[Wednesday 8:00 pm]
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Simpsons!!!
Cousin Chet

Otto is one of my all-time favorite Simpsons character. Along with Gil, Comic Book Guy, Disco Stu, Moe, Bumblebee Man, Hans Moleman, Kearny, Jimbo, Dolph, Ralph WIggum, Moe, Nelson, Milhouse, Duffman, Jasper Beardsly, Troy McClure, Lionel Hutz, Dr. Nick, Apu, Flanders, Arney Pie, Kent Brockman, Krusty, Krusty’s Dad, Kodos, Kang, and the old Jewish guy. And  Smithers. And Carl. And Lenny. And Barney. Okay, I just like the Simpsons. Is that a crime? So, Jack Nicholson is 78. That is old. And he doesn’t act anymore. Apparently he has retired so he can spend more time falling asleep at Lakers games. Good for him. He made a lot of great movies over the years. He also made
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Thursday, April 16, 2015
[Wednesday 8:00 pm]
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Star Wars!!!
Cousin Chet

First, I need to talk about something creepy that I read the other day. There’s a great piece over on the AV Club about the Michael Jackson song “You Are Not Alone.” If you want analysis on how creepy the lyrics are, I recommend you read that article. What I find supremely creepy is the fact that it was written by R. Kelly. R. Kelly, while arguably a genius songwriter, is a terrible human being. Let’s face facts, the dude is a child molester. So knowing that he wrote a song called “You Are Not Alone” makes you want to double check the children’s closets before bed. The only thing creepier that he did was write the Aaliyah song “Age Ain’t
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Thursday, April 09, 2015
[Wednesday 8:00 pm]
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Eh, I Prefer Matt Damon's Tears
Cousin Chet

So, I guess we have discovered a trend. Apparently Natalie Portman cries in every movie she is in. I guess from now on I just be expecting that to happen in whatever movie I am watching that she is in. Great. You may noticed that we left Black Swan out of that round. Why? Because Our DVD got busted from watching the scene where she makes out with Mila Kunis on repeat. That’s right, all employees of Geeks Who Drink share one DVD collection and it is incredibly inconvenient. I haven’t seen Gremlins in five years because someone never bothered to return it, Derek! So, Jeb Bush accidently put down his ethnicity as Hispanic on a voter registration. I don’t if it was a mistake
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Thursday, April 02, 2015
[Wednesday 8:00 pm]
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Portrait Of Excellence
Cousin Chet

Kevin Bacon is an American born actor/musician from the noxious shitburg of Philadelphia. Early on in his career he had small roles in movies like Animal House and other less famous movies. An early setback for his career came when an old lady who was still angry about the drowning death of her freak son, which she blamed on counselors having sex instead of watching the kids, stabbed him through the throat with an arrow. Kevin miraculously survived and so did his career. His big break came when he landed the starring role in Footloose. Footloose, based on a true story is about a town that bans dancing because some dumbasses died in a car accident. In the film, Kevin plays Ren MacCormick
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan