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The Denver Wrangler
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Wednesday, Feb 10, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Woo Zsa Zsa!
Cousin Chet

It’s always a gamble when we do rounds about people we thought were dead who aren’t. Last night had me freaking out. Mainly because of one little lady, Zsa Zsa Gabor. Not only did she turn 99 the other day, but she got hospitalized the day before the quiz. You better know that I waited until the very last minute to print that visual round. And I was going to be really pissed if she died between the time that I printed it. But she didn’t die! And she will probably never die. Because she is immortal. I didn’t notice the woo guy at the Super Bowl on Sunday. That might be because I was really drunk. You support your team your way and I’ll support my team mine.
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Feb 03, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Hamilton: The Musical: The Quiz: The Blog
Cousin Chet

Yes, Hamilton: The Musical. I haven’t seen it, mainly because I haven’t to New York, Chicago, or San Francisco in recent memory. I guess I’m just going to have to wait until it comes to Denver. At which point I probably won’t be able to get tickets. So I’ll just have to wait for NBC or Fox to do it as a live musical event. At which point I won’t want to watch it, because they’ll fill the cast with a bunch of white people and Vanessa Hudgens and it will just be the worst. Now, the preceding comment was not a slam on Hudgens. She did a fine job in Grease. I just didn’t like that version of Grease. In fact, I mostly wanted to put on the
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jan 27, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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The Future Is Cheesy Gordita Crunch
Cousin Chet

Yes, in the future the only restaurant that will exist will be Taco Bell. I know this because I saw the movie Demolition Man. As far as I’m concerned, Stallone has never lied to me and has no reason to start now, so when he gave us this glimpse of our future, I have no reason to not trust him. Yes, in the future there will be nothing for us to eat other than enchurritos and quesorittos and other things that were made up by stoners late at night by cramming one food into another food and calling it innovation. You will also be fined every time you swear, so watch out for that. So, I’m going to admit it. I think I’m going to watch the Grease Live. I mean, I have no
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jan 20, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Crazy Gonna Cray
Cousin Chet

Hey! Did you know that Germany is still using that one national anthem that they used during their Nazi years? It’s a fact! Now, I understand that they had been using that anthem before Hitler got all genocidey, but considering how much they have tried to change their image since then, you’d think they’d make an attempt to come up with something new. I mean, for the very least so it doesn’t make the other countries uncomfortable at the Olympics. I mean, let’s face it. Whenever Germany’s will starts triumphing, Poland and France get a little uncomfortable. Maybe they could recruit that delightful John Williams to write them a new song. Look what he did for
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jan 13, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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All My Heroes Are Secretly Aliens
Cousin Chet

Well, so ends my week of morning David Bowie. I have almost completely run out of things to say. So here are just a few stray stories I forgot over the week. The Berlin Trilogy is possibly some of the greatest music ever recorded. Not just because of Bowie working with Brian Eno, who is one of the greatest producers who ever lived, or the way that it embraced so deeply a mix of early electronic and krautrock, but because the amount of cocaine they were doing while recording that album is staggering. Anyone ever tells you that drugs don’t make great music, hit them in the face with a copy of Low. David saved the career of the band Mott the Hoople. If you know only one
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Jan 06, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Germans. What Will They Think Of Next?
Cousin Chet

Sometimes, when we have quiz, even I learn something new. For example, last night I learned that German scientists have invented a new form of male birth control. Now, instead of a vasectomy, you can have a little switch surgically placed in your junk. When you don’t want to impregnate anyone you just switch it on. And when you do, just switch it off. Convenience for those who are wishy washy about bringing kids into the world. Personally, I have no use for this because I never want to bring little me’s into the world. But good for you indecisive guys out there. Obviously when things like this are developed, one must consider all the ways they might malfunction. Like maybe
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Dec 30, 2015
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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My Resolution
Cousin Chet

Well, it’s New Year’s Eve. And I have made my resolution. I resolve to destroy every copy of the Point Break remake and it get it removed from all theaters so no one has to suffer through it. Seriously, the fact that they remade that movie is already terrible. But then the film itself is so soul suckingly bad, it borders on a war crime. It takes none of what made the original great and produces something that is just awful. I mean, the original was kind of fun in its goofiness. I mean, Zen surfers who are also bank robbers. And  they wear president masks? And Gary Busey is in it? And members of the Red Hot Chili Peppers? And Anthony Kiedis blows his own toes off with
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Dec 23, 2015
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Happy Drunkmas
Cousin Chet

Hey! It’s Christmas Eve! So let’s keep this short. I’ve got to get drunk and watch some cartoons! So here are the highlights of last night. Charlie Brown definitely was going to take that tree home and fuck it. Yeah, he was saying he was going to decorate. He just didn’t specify what he was going to decorate it with. I’ll give you a hint, that’s not artificial snow. Artificial snow isn’t that sticky. Or salty. As we learned last night, Mother Teresa gave 7 blowjobs, but only had one orgasm. We cannot confirm a second one, which thankfully for her is not a requirement for sainthood. Sorry, Terry. Maybe try harder next time. Pickle
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Dec 16, 2015
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Christian Rock Will Always Suck
Cousin Chet

Do you think that Apologetix knows that we’re making fun of them? I mean, what they’ doing is inherently ridiculous. But I don’t think the mean it as a joke. I’ve dealt with a lot of religious types that thought they were doing something really neat that would help bring people into the fold. They genuinely believed it was going to make jaded Atheists like me come to their side. But you know what? Trying to make Christianity hip only makes it lamer. There’s nothing cool about being really into church and acting like there is only makes you want to punch them more. So, knock it off. All you’re doing is giving me fodder to mock you further. That’s
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Dec 09, 2015
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Need A Quiz Answer? Why Not Zoidberg?
Cousin Chet

Billy West is a G. I mean, he fucking rules. Not only was he Stimpy AND Ren, he was also Doug Funnie, The Red M&M, Fry, The Professor, Zoidberg, Popeye, Shaggy, Buzz the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee, and Bugs fucking Bunny. I know, not the original, but the main one for the last few years. He made your childhood magical, and you didn’t even know. Every morning you should get up and be grateful that you live in a world with Billy West. So, it feels kind of imminent that Hillary Clinton is going to be the Democratic nominee. And that’s cool, I guess. I mean, I’m not a fan. But she’s way better than Donald Trump. Who would you rather have as president? The fake plastic
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Dec 02, 2015
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Thingamabobs? I've Got Plenty
Cousin Chet

I wanna be where the people are. I wanna see, wanna see them dancing. Walking around those… What do you call them? Feet. Wandering free, wish I could be, part of your world. Yes, I like that song. That is a really good song. And I liked Little Mermaid. You may infer from that whatever you like. I don’t care. I’m not ashamed. I also liked Beauty and the Beast. I especially like that Detective Lenny Briscoe was the voice of Lumiere. He is one of the best damn detectives from New York and he has a heavenly singing voice. If you have a problem with that, that’s on you. I refuse to apologize. While we’re on the subject of Law & Order, I have finally
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Nov 25, 2015
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Macy's Day Parade
Cousin Chet

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Now, I’m just waking up. And that means I am definitely writing this while watching the parade. I love the parade. But not because it’s any good. But because it’s so  ridiculously bad it is. Matt Lauer looks completely miserable and maybe a little drunk. Once upon a time, he thought he was going to be a serious journalist and now he’s introducing some guy from Glee in a musical number from Finding Neverland, a movie that didn’t even warrant a second viewing on DVD let alone a whole fucking movie. And watching Glee guy pretend this is how he saw his career going makes me understand why Corey Monteith did so much heroin. But
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Nov 18, 2015
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Spending Too Much Time Playing With Your Vault Boy
Cousin Chet

So, apparently PornHub so a sharp drop in traffic this week. Why? Because Fallout 4 was released. I find this all very troubling. I mean, This shows a clear indication of the sort of people who are both playing Fallout 4 and visiting PornHub. They are sad nerds. I’m not saying this in a derogatory way. I myself am a sad nerd, though my tastes run more along the marathoning Jessica Jones and debating possible fan theories about the new Star Wars. But to think that people were too busy playing video games to masturbate, well, that’s just sad. I mean, people still found time to masturbate during the Paris attacks and that was an international tragedy. Apparently hanging out with Dog
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Nov 11, 2015
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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The Content Of This Blog Has Been Changed For Legal Reasons
Cousin Chet

So, we are not going to be discussing here my ongoing feud with Sandra Bullock. My lawyer has informed that we will soon be going into litigation about it, so I’ve been advised not to talk about Ms. Bullock. That said, she knows what she did. Now that was all I planned on talking about today, so I’m sorta without a theme for this here blog. But hey! I had a couple people ask about my playlist from last night and if I would post it. So here you go, here’s all the music I played last night: Just Like Heaven- Dinosaur Jr. This Tornado Loves You- Neko Case Say Yes- Ben Folds The Laws Have Changed- The New Pornographers Crazy Train-
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Nov 04, 2015
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Christmas, Christmas, Me So Merry
Cousin Chet

Few shows do breaking out into song as well as the Simpsons. I mean, there’s the Monorail song, “Stop The Planet Of The Apes I Want To Get Off,” the Stonecutters song, “Who Needs The Kwiki Mart,” and let us never forget “Streetcar!” Those are all classics. Plus there are so many others that I can’t even remember them all. So many in fact, that they actually did a whole episode of flashbacks to past musical numbers. And that episode had some great jokes about Lee Marvin in Paint Your Wagon. There is one show that I believe does an amazing job of musical numbers. That show is Community. Specifically the Christmas episode where they have
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


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The Denver Wrangler
1700 Logan St
Denver, CO
80203
Wednesday, Oct 28, 2015
[Wednesdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Spooky Treats And Ozzy... Just Being Gross
Cousin Chet

Alright, I promised you a story about something even more disgusting that Ozzy did while he was hanging out with Motley Crue. So, we talked last night about him snorting a line of ants. But during that same hang out, he took a piss on the ground and then lapped it up. But wait, there’s more! He then goaded Nikki Sixx (I think it was Nikki, it might have been Vince) into doing the same. Nikki (or Vince, it’s been a while since I read the Dirt) also took a leak, but before he could taste his own urine, Ozzy jumped down and lapped it up himself. Apparently, that’s Ozzy’s thing. And that’s the reason why Sharon wouldn’t let him hang out with the Crue for the
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan