• Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, August 31, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
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The Little Castrati
Hopeless Semantic

 Once upon a time there was a guy with balls. And his best friend was a magical talking praying mantis who mostly only gave him a daily warning. "Don't chop off your balls just to sing really high," he would say everyday. It was kind of a strange and specific warning for sure and it was unclear why they were such good friends with such bizarre and niche topics limiting their conversation.   But sure enough, one day the man was singing a jaunty tune in the public market when an evil character in a bowler hat said, "hey guy, you sing really well. But you could make like way more riches if you sang really high and also didn't have any balls."  "but
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, August 24, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

I'm on the Jumbotron
Hopeless Semantic

    I've been known for a few monkey-making schemes over the years. And guess what, they ALL worked. I'm rich, idiots! But if anyone wants a free one to make millions of dollars, I guess you can take this one:  There should be a Jumbotron song. Think about it. All the montages of people waving because they saw themselves on a big TV. It's perfect for something-on-the-nose. Jumbotron montagues need their own song. It could even be vaguely country. Step 1: Record Jumbo Tron Song. Step 2: Sell it to ball parks.  Step 3: Profit.  I mean it could even be something pretty basic:I'm on the Jumbotron (duh
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, August 17, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Monday-A-Monday
Hopeless Semantic

 Fuck Garfield. We have fun on Mondays. Any Given Monday 3.0 Monday'd off with Manic Monday's. We had a Monday of a good time. We Monday'd about all sorts of topics and just did some general Mondaying. We always like to Monday around. The only thing missing was Clevland's investigative reporter Carl Monday. Do you get it? Do you get my joke? I'm replacing words with Monday. Are you laughing yet? Are you laughing your Mondays off? C U Next Monday. Or
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, August 10, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Hurts Going In, Hurts Coming Out
Hopeless Semantic

  My fist when I punch it into your mouth. And then when I pull it out, it's all stuck in your mouth and caught behind your teeth and pulls your teeth out when I pull it. And I have to do that move where I put my foot on your chest for leverage just to get it out. And also you are hitting me because I just punched you so hard. That isn't making it easier, dude. Just be chill while I pull this knuckle sandwich out of your throat. Drama queen, much? I think I'm going to have to call the fire department. We are def going to have to put the jaws of life in your mouth to get my hand out. Maybe they will scare me out when I see their tools like that episode of Full House when Stephanie
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, August 03, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Jainists: Anti-Garlic, Pro Swastikas
Hopeless Semantic

 When the Jainists saw that Hitler stole their peace swastika, they should have stopped being peaceful. They should have suddenly known kung fu like Neo and done that. They should have been all like pacifists? I'll pass-my-fists through your stomach bitch. Fuck you and them too! Lets start cutting. Who the damn hell doesn't like garlic and also onions? Garlic is the best thing on Earf. I wish I had it in my rum and coke I'm drinking right now. Actually It's a Cuba Libre. And what would it be called with garlic? I dunno, why don't any cocktails have garlic? That would be sick. I'm going to make that now and I don't care if anybody doesn't like my smell. Smelling like garlic is
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, July 27, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Errbody's Like Quiz, Yo
Hopeless Semantic

 People are all like yo, "there's a quiz, son?"  And I'm all like, "yeah, son."  So I put on my backwards hat and I'm all like "let's do this." Loud EDM music starts playing from my laptop and turntables while I hold my headphones with one hand and wear sunglasses inside the bar. Then I'm all like, "oh yeah, let's get this quiz started." I uncork a bottle of Cristal and spray it all over my electronics but nothing gets damaged. Everbody is aware that I rule. I get out my t-shirt cannon and fire it right in a lady's face at point blank range but she doesn't get hurt and enjoys getting some free stuff that says "Corona" on it. You
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, July 20, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Donald Gump
Hopeless Semantic

  "Momma always said, life is like a box of deeds to low-income housing I'm taking over" said Donald.   From non-humble beginnings in the least humble place on Earth (NYC), Donald Gump was born. His momma always knew he was special and by special, we mean really stupid. "Momma always said stupid is and stupid does, and I do a lot of incredibly stupid things" said Donald.   Even though Donald Gump was much more stupid than the other kids and always had a dumb haircut, he still was able to high rise above and accidentally stumble on some money money money money money money MONEY.   But anyways, guys. I could do a full parody
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, July 06, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Tullar You Heard It From Me
Worst Corey Ever

I found myself today hosting at Battery Park in lieu of the great John Tullar. Amongst the crowd was a family from Minnesota (Barden Party) who happened to hail from one town away from my high school home town, a team of travelers staying at a nearby hostel (The UN), their fun guide from the hostel (Solo Dolo), a team that showed up late and didn’t place at the bottom (Poop Leader & His Turds), my favorite team name despite mediocre performance (Jack-King Off Suit) and our two teams of serious quizzers (Bill Cosby Drugged Her and Moooooooo).
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WARNING: The following is top secret. It will most certainly stay that way, as nobody is ever going to read it.

I know everything there is to know about me. Nobody knows more about me than I do, and most likely nobody ever will. If I were a pub quiz, you would fail.

I am a recovering midwesterner on my ninth step (seeking apologies from everyone who was responsible for my being in the midwest as long as i was). I'll soon be moving on to the tenth step, where I take inventory of how my own actions made such a thing possible.

I am a (mostly) proud BU Terrier (I say mostly because though our hockey team is good, I'd never say I'm proud of them) with a degree in business (the highest of the classical sciences). Though Quizmaster is what I would consider my "day job" I'm also a CPA in my free time. I know what you're thinking, and NO... I DON'T do taxes. Not all CPAs do taxes. I am one of those who does not.

I do not like eating animal. Nothing against the animals. And nothing for the animals. I just don't do it. Don't ask. Or do. I don't give a shit (see Nick Swardson, All Day, for proper accenting of that last sentence).

I am a fan of penguins, owls, sheep, and dragons. This is because I can draw them at a 3rd grade level. All of my other drawing skills are closer to the Pre-K level.

I am a gamer at heart. Talk to me about Final Fantasy or Zelda. Don't talk to me about Halo, COD, or any other FPS disasters. I'm a classic JRPG lover and will defend the genre to the end of the earth. May the various gods help you when you try to argue it with me. "But I can't see people's heads blow up when I kill them!" "You're an idiot. I win."

I am about 5' 10". I am VERY Caucasian (read pale... not my fault). I am a musician. I am well read in Sci-Fi. I am scrawny. I am mostly happy. I am the warrior. I am not your father's oldsmobile.

But mostly, I am. (I think.)


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, June 29, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Mr. Sandman
Hopeless Semantic

 Oh boy am I tired from partying so hard at tonight's quiz. The Sandman is going to take me away any moment now. I guess I better read Neil Gaiman's "Sandman" to see what to expect and also to stop pretending I've read it. Man, I am just shutting eyelids left and right (my left and right eyelid.) I'm falling to beddy bye land any moment now.     I'm on the verge of Rip Van Winkleing it. That's when you fall asleep for 100 years and when you wake up, nothing has changed technologically but you got a big beard. And you don't even care all your friends died because you got this great beard. Okay, goodnight guys. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, June 22, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

He-Man Always Knows Just What to Say
Max Power

It was great being back at Battery Park last night, and seeing a whole bunch of familiar faces. The quiz has been running for over three years now! That’s totally nuts.   We kicked things off with a round that purported to correct T.S. Eliot about which month is cruelest. I’m tempted to side with him, but then again, he is indirectly responsible for the existence of the musical CATS, so maybe it’s a wash. In any event, it was neck and neck right off the bat, with Brick Down! and Vinny and the Squirts tied for first place. They remained tied for the rest of the quiz, right up until round 8, when the Bricks pulled out 8
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Kevin lives in Somerville and spends his time doing lots of math so that robots can more easily take over the world. When not doing that, he's devoting his time to brewing beer, and listening to Bowie. He's also an ordained minister (it's amazing what you can do for free on the interwebs). And yes, that's Kevin chilling with Tommy Wiseau, director of the wonderful film The Room (nbd).

Devlin's Bistro:
332 Washington St
Brighton, MA 02135
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, June 15, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Speaking In Tongues
Hopeless Semantic

 Speaking of speaking in tongues, have you guys heard the good news of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints? I'm not a Mormon, I just love those Latter Days. Especially Friday and Saturday. I just like to chillax with a Bud Lite Lime and drink it. And drink another one until I'm white me drunk. That's where a person who is me, who is white, is drunk. Some people say Sunday is the first day. Those people are Seventh Day Adventists and can go to hell. Everybody knows Monday is the first day and Sunday isn't even a real day. I go into a cryogenic chamber every Sunday and thaw out Monday. It's very expensive but worth it. If it's good enough for a forged Ted Williams napkin, it's good enough
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, June 08, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Who Has Two Thumbs And Wrote The Thumb Round
Hopeless Semantic

   The world may never know. We had a pretty packed quiz. It was good to see like all the regulars being regulars and show up. We had the Bricks. The Mondays. The Irregulars. The team that shows up and changes their name every time.  And special guests. It was cool. I love when GWD comes up with stuff that's unexpected and the r3 and r6 delivered the hardest. Who would show up to a pub quiz and be quizzed on places you are or aren't allowed into? Or biker gangs? Or maybe thumbs (this guy!)  It was also a heated battle for 1st
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, June 01, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

More Exile!
Hopeless Semantic

   Exiling people is awesome. Back in the day, they used to just exile people all the time for every good reason. They were criminals, they had diseases, they didn't like them. There is like no good reason not to exile someone. It's time to bring it back. Sending people to an island is the best thing. It's perfect for me because I'm anti-death penalty. Not because I don't think the state shouldn't kill people (it should,) I'm just always pro exile. If I was the foreman in a jury and I was about to pass the note to sentence someone to die, and then a dude ran into the courtroom and said "exile dude," I'd rip that shit up and rip off my blazer to reveal a Led Zeppelin shirt. The judge
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, May 18, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

No
Hopeless Semantic

No, Harper Lee wasn't also known as Mrs. Capote. Nice try two teams. I'm pretty sure Truman Capote was openly or not, gay. And they were just friends. And they went to go interview people for that "In Cold Blood" book. And then he wrote To Kill A Mockingbird and she said that she wrote it. True story. Did you know Truman Capote was in a movie? I'm gonna watch it again soon. It's called "Murder By Death." And there is some cold blooded murders. Speaking of cold blood, they found a warm blooded fish. I'm not sure what that means but I guess it's interesting. I'm Dee Captain Now had a lead the whole time but lost at the buzzer to now-threepeaters Any Given
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, May 11, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

What Date Is It?
Hopeless Semantic

                   I was messing up dates bad today, bro. Apparently I can’t tell the difference between 1796 and 1996, but can you blame me? I remember 96’ well. I was wearing a powdered wig and celebrating 20 years of American Independence. FUCK. Well what happened in 76’?  They had a pretty good Lollapalooza. FUCK. Get it? I’m messing up the differences between  a colonial time like a long time ago and a modern age I lived in. Do you get the joke? Acknowledge the joke.  Why do
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish. 


  • Quiz Image
Battery Park Bar & Lounge
33 Batterymarch Street
Boston, MA
02110
Monday, May 04, 2015
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

What Happened Man?
Hopeless Semantic

  Last Monday at quiz I drank a beer and ate some peyote, I think it was the beer. I started drifting off into a very strange zone. And it was twilight out. It was kind of like the Twilight Zone....but with shittier writing. So it was kind of like Twilight. Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into days. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into fortnights. Fortnights turned into fortdays. I started spinning endlessly on one of those optical illusions that hypnotists use to hypnotize people. What are those called, anyways? But anyways, on Sunday I came to and am now posting this blog. I also came three, up top guys!  
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Yes, I am the one in the picture you think I am. 

 

Hey sucka. I haven't updated this in a while sucka. Sucka. Come to Miller's Ale House every Weds at 8 pm, sucka. Suckafish.