• Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Mar 27, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

"A Quiz Night at Henry's," or, "I Couldn't Think of a Title"
Jake

Hey, Henry’s Quizzers! What a fun night tonight. I know I’ve said it a million times, but I love new teams – I feel like they bring a new dynamic to the "quizzing floor." (You know, like “killing floor,” but far, far more vicious.) For starters, we had Super Fictional Anime Animals, who took fourth as a first time team. Not too shabby, right? Team name of the night went to the winning team, Luey Hewis & The Fake News. Nice. I love their song “I Want a New Drug (and I will charge the American public 800% more than I used to).” Great song! Darkest Timeline
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Mar 20, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

My Regulars
Jake

We had a small but spirited crowd tonight at Henry’s, and let me tell you something – this is the only job I’ve ever had where I like the regulars. Have you ever had a job where people act they own the joint? I’m sure this happens in numerous trades, but often in the restaurant industry, which I have been a part for many a year. Regulars are the worst. Not for everyone mind you – Some people love regulars. But there’s something so off-putting about somebody plunking down in whatever seat they want, expecting you to remember their order, then they get all butthurt if you don’t. Hey pal, I’ve got 100 other people who come
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Mar 13, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

(Un)lucky 13th?
Jake

We had all sorts of new teams tonight here at Henry’s, including one from across the pond in London! It was a lot of fun in there as Colin and Stacy served y’all. So let’s talk about these rounds, shall we? We had some mighty good scores. Round 1 featured answers that were also the names of comic book superheroes. The toughest one was definitely Spawn, which was a mighty popular ‘90s comic book series that made a name of Todd McFarlane. Round 2 was a toughie, as there was a bit more pop music than usual. I’m sorry, but anyone really tell the difference between Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Zendaya, or any of
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Mar 06, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

We're Back, in More Ways Than One
Jake

Hey, Henry’s! I just returned from our Annual Geek Bowl, the biggest pub quiz gathering in America, if not the World. Coming from our own venue here at Henry’s was the illustrious Les Quizarables, who came in at #83 of 212 in the best pub quiz teams in America. If you break it down through the 40 states Geeks Who Drink is in, that means that that if we had 2 top teams in each state we run in, they’d be one. That’s legit AF. There was so much happening at Geek Bowl – We overlooked the Elliot Bay as quizzers competed to see who was the best of the best. The winner took home $11,000, which is no joke. And oh… I met Ken Jennings!
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Feb 20, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

STEPMOTHER!!!
Jake

Well, it was nice night here at Henry’s as we had a few new teams in JAM on it! and Robert DROP TABLES; (Semicolon) which as I learned, is quite possibly the smartest team name I may have ever encountered. But the quiz – Dang that quiz! It was tough tonight! Round 1 featured answers with feelings. Gross. I heard about those once, but ever since my priest told me to keep feelings buried deep down inside me, I’ve done just that. I’m now an impenetrable wall of stoicism. Round 2 featured song with annoying vocal riffs. Speaking of which,
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Feb 13, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Point/Counterpoint: Valentine's Day
Jake

Point/Counterpoint: Valentine’s Day By Quizmaster Jake & Vanessa Foreword: Normally, a fellow Quizmaster would debate with me over the subject of the week, but he has come down with a severe case of Chlamydia. So my ex-girlfriend Vanessa, who has been the counterpoint to my point for the last two years, will provide insight and commentary. Enjoy! Question: Why does Valentine’s Day suck/rule? Jake: Valentine’s Day sucks because it has been commercialized. Originally designed for a couple of Roman martyrs, it has been transformed by assholes like Hallmark and flower and chocolate companies. Vanessa: So says the guy who’s
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Feb 06, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

And We're Back!
Jake

It was good to see your bright shining faces again after a few weeks off! But we’re back in the full swing of things, and we were set to quiz. We had a few new teams in Westsiders and 2 Cocks and a Hen, and I love fresh blood. Tonight’s quiz was crazy all over the place! Let’s see: Round 1 was all about Australia, and in case you were wondering where the “A dingo ate my baby!” meme came from, look no further. Round 2 had some awful covers of #1 songs from this day in history. When I had questions about a certain Elton John’s
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Jan 16, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Icepocalypse 2017
Jake

No ice, no snow, no falling icicles could keep quizzers away from Henry’s tonight! We had spirited teams show up, including new teams Daydrinkers and Team X Blades (BTW you guys, I watched this less-than-six-minutes YouTube video that I’m pretty sure summed it up; and what’s with all the bad hair?), and a couple of long-gone but recently-returned teams in Eeny Meeny Miny Moe (good luck on moving to Phoenix!) and David S. Pumpkins Jr., who somehow manages to always come in second place, even though if you guys came in a bit more often I bet
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Jan 09, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

College Football for the TV Nerd
Jake

Dang! It was crazy in here tonight! First off, CLEMSON WON. Or more importantly, Alabama lost. I love college football, but I primarily watch my alma mater. And I’m aware that some of you don’t watch the sportsball, and that sentences #2 and 3 make no sense, so allow me to convert it to pop culture, namely TV. Let’s say you watch awards shows. And let’s say the award for “Best Drama” comes up. Now there’s all kinds of really cool stuff out there; maybe you’re a fan of Stranger Things or Transparent. But here’s the problem: Despite the critical acclaim those shows receive, they’re
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Jan 02, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

It's 2017!
Jake

What a great time tonight at Henry’s! I was so glad to see you brave the post-hangover of New Year’s as we celebrated the first quiz of 2017. We had quizzers both local and from afar, both old and new. There were Canadians, Los Angelenos, and Moscowites (I think that’s what you call them!), though not from Russia, but rather Idaho. And FYI, it’s pronounced “Moss-ko,” not “Mos-kow,” like it’s big sister. But for really yo, tonight’s quiz was tough. I’ve been in the game for a hot minute (too much slang?) and I’ve seen some tough rounds, but a few in one quiz was truly nanners. Sure, we started
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Dec 26, 2016
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Seriously. F@$k This Year.
Jake

Man, this year fucking sucks. In these last two days, Carrie Fisher had a massive heart attack (She has since passed, sadly) and George Michael died. And for those of you who are smarty pants, Richard Adams, author of Watership Down, and Vera Rubin, a pioneering astronomer and one of the finders of dark matter, have passed as well. In a matter of three days. And let’s not forget about the myriad of other folks as well. And as we head into 2017, we can only hope it won’t be a sequel. And on top of it all, I’m sick as hell right now. Blech. And yet… Hope. The outpouring of thoughts and
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Dec 19, 2016
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work
Jake

Hey hey hey! What’s happening, Henry’s? Apparently Snowpocalypse 2016 has rendered these last five days somewhat useless, so y’all piled in to Henry’s tonight, and I love that! The other thing is that some of you brought in some new people, and I love new people! Guys, if you’re a team that comes and plays but doesn’t ever win, you have to remember: TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK. Obviously here at Geeks we give you questions about everything, but there a few basics we always ask about: Pop CultureMusic, Movies, TVGeographyBasic ScienceHistoryLiterature
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Dec 12, 2016
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

I'm Cool.
Jake

What a great quiz tonight, and man, were you guys snarky. So. Much. Snark. But it’s cool, because I take those feelings and bury them deep, deep inside me. I would say I write them in a journal, but I feel like instead I use this blog for all my emotional venting. Which apparently doesn’t go unnoticed. I sort of treat my blogs like my past lovers: Sure, they were great for that moment, but I have to move on and look forward, forgetting the past in the process. So when I wrote last week’s blog, I sort of figured it would be looked at for people checking scores, seeing if their team was mentioned, etc. So imagine my surprise this evening to
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Dec 05, 2016
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

They Are the Trees. I Am Their God.
Jake

It’s December. That means it’s tree time. I will get my tree trimming permit, because I like taking my prey alive. I will methodically prepare for a month, every item in its place just so, as were I directing a Wes Anderson film. Then I depart. The hills have eyes, and I am those eyes. I will watch and admire your brethren from afar. Do you think you are better than me? DO YOU?!? You are not. I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing. As I stalk you, I will break limbs from your smaller, lesser children, and rub them all over myself. I will smell like you. I will look like you, covered in the branches of your young. There are so
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Nov 28, 2016
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Post Turkey Glow
Jake

Ah, the post-turkey glow – or whatever the kids are calling it these days. As I mentioned last week, turkey sucks. There are so many better meats! So for my Thanksgiving, I stayed at home by myself, and smoked some pork and beef, and had it with a mess of potatoes. Happy Birthday to me. Err, Turkey Day. Thanksgiving. You get it. And here we are, the first holiday of the trifecta under our belts. Only a few weeks until Christmas and New Years, both of which fall on Sunday. Is that good? Bad? For some of you it’s likely nice that it falls on a weekend, so you don’t
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!


  • Quiz Image
Henry's 12th St Tavern
10 NW 12th Ave
Portland, OR
97209
Monday, Nov 21, 2016
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Return of The Mack
Jake

Hello, Henry’s! What a great night, and really great quiz! Where do we start? Well, we had new teams in Westside Whores, Rated XXX and Rodents of Unusual Size, which I wasn’t sure if she was a one-woman team, but came in and crushed it. I don’t know if she is a newbie or a regular elsewhere, but damn. Speaking of elsewhere regulars, we had Pitcher Perfect visit us from their regularly scheduled venue, and they were there to play. Not sure if they were using a pseudonym to hide who they were, but damn. I know that my venue is becoming as regular as your ol’
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In a land far, far away, in a time in the not-too-distant future, in an era dominated by dragons, one man was born - nay - created - nay - FORGED from the fires of Valhella (which is part Valhalla, part... well, you get it), and came upon this earth seeking geeks, not for punching, but in order to be a part of their geekery. He searched far, wide, deep, across, shallow and even in the fourth dimension for eons until he came upon the great city of Portland, where the geeks flowed like PBR. "Get thee to a nerdery!" they cried, and it was here that the man struck his mighty staff into the earth with the force of a million bluebirds carrying a thousand hippopotami carrying twenty-three tanks, and the earth opened upon to him, releasing the demonspawn of Australia, which all happened to be drunk upon Foster's. After defeating them with his vorpal sword of might, he descended upon Portland (and related metropolitan area) to take his place at the throne of geeks. He made slaves of many, including Jake, who runs pub quizzes!