• Quiz Image
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
Saturday, May 23, 2015
[Saturday 8:00 pm]
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Spoken By a Ninth-Grade Public Speaking Student
RESII

Thesis statement: 10 teams played in Saturday’s quizzing spectacular at Royal Hilltop.   /shuffles note cards   The team—uhh—Unemployed in Greenland won the quiz.  By, like, a lot.  They had a lot of points . . . 81 points to be exact.   /smiles with the correct fact   One round had all answers starting with “M-A-X.”  This ensured that the quiz was M-A-X-iumum fun.   /pause for laughter—there is none   Second place team was—umm—Drinking Team with
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RESII was born in the 17th state of the union under the sweltering summer sun.  From humble beginnings, this future Buckeye became third best player on the middle school chess team (out of four).  After that, his life became a blur of Mountain Dew and worse decisions.  In his spare time, he enjoys highlights of Buster Tillman, not giving change to the homeless, and Harper Lee novels.  This is his first production of Geeks Who Drink.  He would like to thank his lucky stars and all his deceased pets for helping him cope with the good times.


  • Quiz Image
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
Saturday, May 16, 2015
[Saturday 8:00 pm]
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Oly and other phants. Mainly elephants.
Tex from Pittsburgh

Say gang, I had a delightful time quizzin' at you once again. You're a smart crowd, you're also very polite, which is something I always look for in a quiz venue.    Also, have you had the bangers and mash? I think it's fantastic. They put plenty of butter in the mash, which is something I always look for in a quiz venue.   The winning team took exception to my pronunciation of actor/pachyderm Timothy Olyphant's last name. I contended my pronunciation was correct, as I had it spelled out phonetically on my quiz sheet. Yes, the Geeks Who Drink higher-ups just take it for granted that we quizmasters are too drunk and/or brain-damaged to pronounce
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FUN FACTS ABOUT ME:


I am married to a lovely lady and live in West Denver with my two lovely cats, Lucy and Trousers. We don't have any kids yet and my wife says we can't name any kids Lucy on account of that's what the cat's name is. If I'd have known that I would have named the cat something else, you know? 


The name of the gang is my neighborhood is the "West Ninth Fuk Puppets," judging by the graffiti in my alley.


I collect Cthulhu statuettes, paisley ties, aloha shirts, animal skulls, briar pipes, expired passports off of eBay and smashed pennies. I used to collect pogs but then they stopped selling them.


I've never broken an arm or leg, and never had chicken pox. I am immune to bedbug bites and nearly immune to mosquito bites.


I've been in three fights in my adult life and won 1 1/2 of them.


I went to Spain for my honeymoon. I had diarrhea for seven of the 10 days of the trip.


I won the Phoenix Public Schools spelling bee for 3rd grade in 1990. I got 100 percent on all my spelling tests in 4th grade except for the word "masquerade," which I spelled correctly, but I got a half point taken off because my sloppy cursive made the "u" look like a "v". But to hell with that. I spelled it correctly, give me the full point, right?


I must have done other stuff besides that, but that's about all I can think of.


UPDATE: The above is all still accurate, except now I live in East Denver and have a 2-year-old son. Also, I'm not sure what the gang is in my new neighborhood.


  • Quiz Image
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
Saturday, May 09, 2015
[Saturday 8:00 pm]
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Sci Fi Drag Queen Villains
Hunter

You'd think this would be a new episode of RuPaul's Drag Race, but no, it's just cinematic history. Round 7 brought us clips from comic book movie super-villains. Two of these villains were Red Skull from Captain America: The First Avenger and General Zod from Superman II. I hope all of you recognized them (Hugo Weaving and Terence Stamp respectively) from The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Now let's see if you can watch either of them in any of their other movie roles without picturing them in drag. Frankly, it would be hilarious to see a big drag cat fight in any of the Matrix films. Would Keanu Reeves now say "I know kung fu" and
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The Sportos and Motorheads, Geeks, Sluts, Bloods, Wasteoids, Dweebies, Dickheads all adore me. They think I'm a righteous dude.


  • Quiz Image
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
Saturday, May 02, 2015
[Saturday 8:00 pm]
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Where are the muppets of yesteryear?
Tex from Pittsburgh

I had a grand time being your quizmaster at the ol' Royal Hilltop. The quiz took place the night of the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight, but we still had a full house. We apparently didn't miss anything, cuz a)Pacquiao was secretly injured, and b) the key to Mayweather's greatness is being super-good at defense rather than throwing spectacular haymakers, which is all anyone who isn't a huge boxing fan wants to see.   Our "Corpses of the '90s" round was a tad ghoulish. Basically, we had to name people who died in the 1990s by playing clips of their voices. Some of them I vaguely remember dying, but the two whose deaths I remember being truly saddened by were Jim Henson and John
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FUN FACTS ABOUT ME:


I am married to a lovely lady and live in West Denver with my two lovely cats, Lucy and Trousers. We don't have any kids yet and my wife says we can't name any kids Lucy on account of that's what the cat's name is. If I'd have known that I would have named the cat something else, you know? 


The name of the gang is my neighborhood is the "West Ninth Fuk Puppets," judging by the graffiti in my alley.


I collect Cthulhu statuettes, paisley ties, aloha shirts, animal skulls, briar pipes, expired passports off of eBay and smashed pennies. I used to collect pogs but then they stopped selling them.


I've never broken an arm or leg, and never had chicken pox. I am immune to bedbug bites and nearly immune to mosquito bites.


I've been in three fights in my adult life and won 1 1/2 of them.


I went to Spain for my honeymoon. I had diarrhea for seven of the 10 days of the trip.


I won the Phoenix Public Schools spelling bee for 3rd grade in 1990. I got 100 percent on all my spelling tests in 4th grade except for the word "masquerade," which I spelled correctly, but I got a half point taken off because my sloppy cursive made the "u" look like a "v". But to hell with that. I spelled it correctly, give me the full point, right?


I must have done other stuff besides that, but that's about all I can think of.


UPDATE: The above is all still accurate, except now I live in East Denver and have a 2-year-old son. Also, I'm not sure what the gang is in my new neighborhood.


  • Quiz Image
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
Monday, April 27, 2015
[Saturday 8:00 pm]
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Happy Trails, Cowboy Curtis
Cousin Chet

Well, it’s the end of the road for me here at Royal Hilltop. Maybe. I don’t actually know. I might be back in a couple of weeks. Things are not set in stone. But if this was our last quiz together, II want to thank you for all the good times. Except for that one guy. Fuck that guy. He gets thanked for nothing. Now, if you have never read the book The Dirt about the life and times of Motley Crue, you should. Theirs is one truly wacky story. It’s full of drug addiction, leaked sex tapes, and Vince Neill fucking killing a guy with his car. That’s right. He killed his friend Razzle from Hanoi Rocks and also left two other people with brain damage. And he didn’t
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
Tuesday, April 21, 2015
[Saturday 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Well, He's No Lucifer
Cousin Chet

I have no idea who Max Martin. I only know that he has a great talent for writing songs that I hate. With the exception of Last Friday Night. I love any song that Katy Perry does and I don’t care what you think about that. And the video for that song was super good. I mean it head Debbie Gibson, Corey Feldman (the lesser of the Coreys, but still), and Kenny G before he was cool to appreciate again. Okay, I guess people still don’t think Kenny G is cool, but I’m not great at knowing what is cool or not. I mean, I bought an Andy Williams record today. And I’ve been listening to a lot of Slim Whitman. But he is the king of yodeling, so I think that’s okay. I
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
[Saturday 8:00 pm]
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I Also Enjoy Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Cousin Chet

I love the movie Friday the 13th. Love it. I am of course talking about the original, not that awful remake with that knob from Supernatural. That one is terrible. Considering the fact that Jason Voorhees is essentially an mentally undead killing machine, I don’t really see him building a series of tunnels with working lights beneath Camp Crystal Lake. That is not believable at all. The undead part I buy, but not the rest. I had the lovely opportunity to see the original film recently with a live a Q&A with the screenwriter Victor Miller, who is one of the coolest guys I’ve ever had the opportunity to talk to. Smart, funny, and super chill. I’m not trying
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • Quiz Image
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
Sunday, April 05, 2015
[Saturday 8:00 pm]
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There's Always A Time For Footloose
Cousin Chet

Man, I don’t know about you, but I really enjoyed the movie Step Brothers. I remember the first time I saw it. I wanted to go see the Dark Knight, but it was sold out at the time, so I went and saw Step Brothers instead (and saw the Dark Knight late that afternoon. To be fair, I saw Dark Knight a lot that summer, so it was probably  good that I saw a different movie for a change)> And boy howdy was it hilarious. I mean, I laughed so much… Ah, who am I kidding? Nobody cares what I thought about that movie. All anyone really cares about is the Final Four. I know it’s at the forefront of my mind, because I need to Duke to win the championship. For the rest of
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AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan