• blogimage
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
6:00 AM April 27, 2015
Quiz Venue Logo

Happy Trails, Cowboy Curtis
Cousin Chet

Well, it’s the end of the road for me here at Royal Hilltop. Maybe. I don’t actually know. I might be back in a couple of weeks. Things are not set in stone. But if this was our last quiz together, II want to thank you for all the good times. Except for that one guy. Fuck that guy. He gets thanked for nothing. Now, if you have never read the book The Dirt about the life and times of Motley Crue, you should. Theirs is one truly wacky story. It’s full of drug addiction, leaked sex tapes, and Vince Neill fucking killing a guy with his car. That’s right. He killed his friend Razzle from Hanoi Rocks and also left two other people with brain damage. And he didn’t
[ ...more... ]

AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • blogimage
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
6:00 AM April 21, 2015
Quiz Venue Logo

Well, He's No Lucifer
Cousin Chet

I have no idea who Max Martin. I only know that he has a great talent for writing songs that I hate. With the exception of Last Friday Night. I love any song that Katy Perry does and I don’t care what you think about that. And the video for that song was super good. I mean it head Debbie Gibson, Corey Feldman (the lesser of the Coreys, but still), and Kenny G before he was cool to appreciate again. Okay, I guess people still don’t think Kenny G is cool, but I’m not great at knowing what is cool or not. I mean, I bought an Andy Williams record today. And I’ve been listening to a lot of Slim Whitman. But he is the king of yodeling, so I think that’s okay. I
[ ...more... ]

AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • blogimage
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
6:00 AM April 14, 2015
Quiz Venue Logo

I Also Enjoy Pee Wee's Big Adventure
Cousin Chet

I love the movie Friday the 13th. Love it. I am of course talking about the original, not that awful remake with that knob from Supernatural. That one is terrible. Considering the fact that Jason Voorhees is essentially an mentally undead killing machine, I don’t really see him building a series of tunnels with working lights beneath Camp Crystal Lake. That is not believable at all. The undead part I buy, but not the rest. I had the lovely opportunity to see the original film recently with a live a Q&A with the screenwriter Victor Miller, who is one of the coolest guys I’ve ever had the opportunity to talk to. Smart, funny, and super chill. I’m not trying
[ ...more... ]

AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • blogimage
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
6:00 AM April 05, 2015
Quiz Venue Logo

There's Always A Time For Footloose
Cousin Chet

Man, I don’t know about you, but I really enjoyed the movie Step Brothers. I remember the first time I saw it. I wanted to go see the Dark Knight, but it was sold out at the time, so I went and saw Step Brothers instead (and saw the Dark Knight late that afternoon. To be fair, I saw Dark Knight a lot that summer, so it was probably  good that I saw a different movie for a change)> And boy howdy was it hilarious. I mean, I laughed so much… Ah, who am I kidding? Nobody cares what I thought about that movie. All anyone really cares about is the Final Four. I know it’s at the forefront of my mind, because I need to Duke to win the championship. For the rest of
[ ...more... ]

AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • blogimage
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
6:00 AM March 29, 2015
Quiz Venue Logo

I Loved Those Whales
Cousin Chet

First and foremost, we all know that there was only one good PSA starring a celebrity ever made. And that is the anti-crack starring Pee Wee Herman. Pee Wee is super serious about not smoking crack in this commercial, somber even. Which I find strange because having watched a lot of Pee Wee’s Playhouse and the movies and I’m pretty sure that man is not unfamiliar with illegal stimulants. As a kid, I could chalk it up to youthful exuberance, but now that I’m older and jaded, well more jaded than I was when I was a kid, but now, yeah, he was probably getting high back then. I’m not going to bring up the whole Nurse Nancy thing, because that shit is played out. We don’t
[ ...more... ]

AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • blogimage
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
6:00 AM March 22, 2015
Quiz Venue Logo

This Blog Has Been Brought To You By My Being Distracted by Basketball
Cousin Chet

Hello again, flatlanders! Thanks again for letting me  visit and quiz with you. You suburban warriors are alright. Isn’t it exciting to learn that Lo Boheme is an Opera and not just a strip club near the convention center? I thought it was pretty exciting. And now I’m wondering if the dancers ever dance to the music of that opera. Or at the very least “Seasons of Love” from Rent. I mean, it might be a bit of a downer to the normal sleazy customers there (Hey, Steve!), but I would find it hilarious and awesome. Yes, I was strict on the Rocky IV question. The Rocky films are very different. The first Rocky, he fights Apollo Creed and loses. Rocky II,
[ ...more... ]

AAAAHHHH!!! AH AH AAAAAHHH! OHMYGODWHATTHEYWHATTHEFUCKWHATFUCK!?!?!?!?!? NO! NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT! PLEASE OH GOD PLEASE! AAAAHHHH!!! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU? AAAAHHH!!! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL ME? JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY, YOU FUCKING MONSTER! OH DEAR CHRIST WHAT IS THAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? NO. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD NO. AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Also enjoys the music of Steely Dan


  • blogimage
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
6:00 AM March 15, 2015
Quiz Venue Logo

Happy Pi Day!
Tyrannosaurus Jess

Pi day. Is there a more perfect day for math nerds and dessert enthusiasts alike? And what about your math nerd dessert enthusiasts! It’s basically like christmas for them. Them meaning me. Lets be honest. I love an arbitrary holiday that celebrates two of my favorite things. The ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter and the most delicious baked good in the world. Fun fact- when I was a kid I would request pie for my birthday instead of cake. Specifically pumpkin pie, but thats because I am impatient and September is close enough to pumpkin pie season. But alas, this year’s
[ ...more... ]

Jess didn't choose the quizmaster life. The quizmaster life chose her. 

Jess enjoys being a dinosaur, drinking beer, and helping strangers feel intellectually inferior all at the same time. 


  • blogimage
The Royal Hilltop
18581 E. Hampden Ave
Aurora, CO
80013
7:00 AM March 08, 2015
Quiz Venue Logo

Thanks Obama
Tyrannosaurus Jess

If you are like me, you woke up this morning an hour later than you thought you did, feeling no more rested than normal. Oh yeah, it’s daylight savings day, when we spring an hour forward. This is the worst day. I can think of so many things I could have been doing during that hour. Baked a Stouffer's lasagna. Watched 1/3rd of Titanic. Play one turn of Dungeons and Dragons. Waited in line at the Apple store. Waited 1/5th of the way through the Passport line.
[ ...more... ]

Jess didn't choose the quizmaster life. The quizmaster life chose her. 

Jess enjoys being a dinosaur, drinking beer, and helping strangers feel intellectually inferior all at the same time.