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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, May 22, 2016
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[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Them roasters though
Dr. Nick

A huge congratulations to our winners last night, Preakness Glue Factory. Not only did they get a prize to help fuel their drinking habit, but they got to remind us the fate of those slower horses. Just behind them, Dungeons and Dildos finished in second, and now everyone wants a weekly “gaming” group. Our topic of the night, Kenny Rogers! He lifted his face / against medical advice / Kill it! With fire! Kenny and Dolly / “Rolling down the river” nope! / Islands in the stream I’d like a chicken / roasted in a cheap fryer / no wonder I’m dead He had so many / Roosters that is, so many.
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
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I'd rather have this bottle in front of me
Dr. Nick

Well boys and girls, that was a tough one… Like… Damn! But we know what to do with a harder-than-usual… quiz. That’s right, another round for everyone, and we’re talking about drinks. Following the slow-but-steady approach, Crack Suicide Squad managed to pull a win with Cervix-A-Lot just behind them in second. So now, your haikus and limericks! Our topic: “I turn 18 on Wednesday” I turn eighteen on / Wednesday; want to pop this / cherry, big mister? This here is a limerick, for our pub master Nick / Hit on by a teen, who will soon be 18 / Scariest thing to hear, so drink another beer A
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, May 15, 2016
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Who's the boss?
Dr. Nick

Oy vey! A little bit of talk about Jewish music and you guys just can’t contain yourselves! It was that, or Tony Danza… Oh hey! Hey oh! Congratulations to Chlamidy-YEAH! for taking the top spot, and We drink and we know things for finishing second. And now, your dirty erotica haikus! Jesus loves his ass / and people think it’s too much / he keeps riding her One-half off / a tug but not a / dick clipping Kaballah, Torah / dancing naked in the night / with my Jewish doll In my bed at night / want a guy who’s circumcised / dreaming deep tonight Hava nagila? / I hardly knew her! /
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
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Love in the time of Civil War
Dr. Nick

What was the occasion to bring out so many of our SLC super-teams? It is always exciting to have the battle of the titans in my house. In the sad-news, we lost one of our own yesterday to that huge dickbag, cancer. Doug was such a positive force of nature, and always a pleasure to have in the bar. I was fortunate to know him, and he will be missed. For our quiz of epic proportions, Scheisse Minelli came out on top, managing to pull an ever-so-narrow lead from the start, and they held on strong. Who knew being obsessive about film directors would ever pay off? Ye Guesstapo narrowly finished in second, showing their continued muscle in the world of quiz. It’s
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, May 08, 2016
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6 Heads in a reasonable carry on
Dr. Nick

There’s nothing like a good running joke. And making reference to the same obscure movie for eight straight months could be considered a good running joke. If you don’t think so, you are wrong. But we sent it off with a bang, and wrote some haikus about head(s). Our winners wanted to hand the joke off to Wednesday, as they pointed out June 8th is a Wednesday. Just behind them, The bitch is still a bitch to me finished second. Now, your haikus. Joe Pesci’s greatest / best movie since Casino / Brain Candy’s better Get ahead in life / make money, have sex, drink beer / live life to the
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, May 04, 2016
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Go see a Star War
Dr. Nick

Can I just say, wow… May the Fourth Be With You is right! You brought the Force and a vengeance! In this incredibly busy night, our victors were Bernie, the possibility of successfully securing the nomination is approximately 3720 to 1 (never tell me the odds!). Just behind them in second was Like a Bossk, with R2-Deez Nutz coming in third. So our topic of course had to be Kylo Ren erotica. Enjoy! Kylo Ren hentai / assfuck me with your lightsabre / please Vader senpai Gasping for a breath / my safe word quickly forgotten / my cock awakens The helmet comes off / eye shadow smeared from tears / erect from
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, May 01, 2016
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RIP: The celebrity we won't miss
Dr. Nick

It was a damn close night, and in the end we had America? as the victors with Ain’t no hambeast close behind. And now, the deaths of celebrities you would like to see go. Humpty Trumpy jumped off the wall (too keep dem foreigners out) / and couldn’t be put back together again Instructions for Fogling: Strip bedsheets, festoon / from bars, apply throat pressure / dead. Six inch cold cuts Kardashian butt / implants have exploded now / drowning in fluid I’ve had several wives / but immigrants will hang me / last breath is more lies Trump says he so sad / He doesn’t care about people / off
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Saturday, Apr 30, 2016
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The One Where We Forgot that Happened in Friends
Nikki!

How you doin?   We had a fantastic time at our Friends Quiz! We were all able to test our Friends knowledge. There was a ton of support from our friends about the 90’s although only a few actually clapped along with me to the theme song during the opening. We had amazing team names and only a few tried to use the same name.   A huge shoutout to my Mom who chose to come to the quiz despite her lack of knowledge of the show. Luckily she was with a team that also knew nothing. Don’t worry Smelly Cat, you didn’t come in last place thanks to Regina Phalange who didn’t turn in a single answer sheet.   We
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Hi. I'm me. I'm pretty damn cool.


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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Apr 27, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Stack 'em deep
Dr. Nick

What a great night to come back after my trip from hell. It was great to see nearly most of you. But seriously, I do hate taking a night off. Congratulations to Death by Misadventure for their win, and Joolias for finishing second! Now, what do we get when we cross a baby pyramid with haikus? Milk white cloud / spritzer / over our wee warbling sucklers / babies in the sky Full diaper on top / foundation under crumples / shit spilleth over Pampers didn’t show / and the pyramid became / too slippery Babies on the top! / On the bottom, babies, too / In the middle: poo Baby left, babe right / baby keep me up
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Apr 24, 2016
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It's coming
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Little Red Corvette is now running on a spare for their win, despite making a joke at the expense of one of the greatest artists of all time. Just behind them, Fudgie Hexer came in a close second with an entire field of competition just points behind. I know it’s April, but to avoid GoT spoilers, we tried to talk about Krampus… Tried… It still smells of fish / from that time you made dinner / like six months ago Utah hates all porn / Krampus thinks that’s really dumb / porn for all You are the Oprah of yeast infections: And you get one, and you! And you! Krampus, you’re
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Apr 20, 2016
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*Evil Maniacal Laughter*
QuizBitch Jen

Some of the wonderful quizzers from last night noticed the distinct lack of one Dr. Nick on stage. Though I was advised in advance, I was not prepared for the seeming onslaught of teams to handle by my lonesome! I was promised a scorekeeper! Nikki eventually showed (whew!) but I had managed to not let on how frazzled I was in the meantime...Team count: 22Birthday Count: 2Count von Count: HAHAHAHAI'm sorry I had to streamline a few things to keep us on track. I'll make up for the lack of "What's in the Box?" next week with more awesomeness- and Nick better be there too. If he manages to survive the trip he's on... Or keep from murdering children and
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Apr 17, 2016
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Doc, I don't feel like myself
Dr. Nick

Big congratulations to Sarcasm – beats killing people for taking the win tonight, and Those kittens were asking for it for finishing second. Our topic tonight: Mr. and Mrs. Frankenstein seek couples counseling! Mrs. Frankenstein / always wondered why her kid / wasn’t enough for him Unh unh unh unh unh / mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm / hunh hunh hunh hunh hunh Sorry Dr. Frank- / enstein, the monster’s dick is / just bigger. I’m leaving Fuck this shit, I’m no / postmodern Prometheus / I just needed love Victor! Your cock, Vic! / Always so cold and clammy / necrophilia Of all the dead
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Apr 13, 2016
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Inky the octopus, we salute you
Dr. Nick

It was quite the challenging quiz, and highly contested throughout the night. In the end, Rule #34 came out victorious with Crack Suicide Squad taking second place, and a close tie in third with Things you hear in a whorehouse and 2 Girls and a Guy fighting hard. With the news of Inky the octopus escaping from his New Zealand prison, we just had to explore the subject of why I’m afraid of the ocean: We’re looking down on Wayne’s basement / but that’s not Wayne’s basement / that’s a seamonster! The beautiful open sea / on how you tease me / the fish and sharks will
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Apr 10, 2016
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[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Squid or swallow
Dr. Nick

Well, sometimes you just open your heart to those around you. Other times, you just open your internet search history and reveal that one of the last things you were curious about was how to sex a cephalopod. Which, by the way, the top result is an article titled: Squid or swallow. So that was our topic for the night, and the responses did vary between the following: You filthy perverts: Cephalopods swimming / up and down and round and round / what are they doing? Compliment their beak / then move onto their many limbs / real life hentai fun Our own dear Squidward / hottest cephalopod down deep / squid sex to die for A squid
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Apr 06, 2016
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The Force Abides
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Crack Suicide Squad and Grapefruit Diet for taking the top spots and prizes last night. Of course, with The Force Awakens coming out this week, I wanted your suggestions for new droids or what force is awakening. My saber so red / happiness is what I seek / heads removed quickly Sucky sucky 5000: Rolly rolly sexy bot / the sucky bot to get you hot It sneaks speedy in / this bot will surprise you all / it is the shocker R2D2 needs / a hot girlfriend for tonight / enter: hot sex bot And then we have a suggestion for what Force exactly has awakened… Kylo Ren and Rey / they are most likely cousins / but damn they
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Apr 03, 2016
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Another Sunday with Chimpanzees
Dr. Nick

There seems to be a lot of trouble in America right now. How did we get here? How can this be happening? Seriously, why do we allow such blatant terror to be created in our own borders?? Batman v Superman is a war crime. Thankfully, we had a great night of quiz, and the big prize went to Ralph Bell can eat a bag of dicks. That always paints quite the visual. I imagine something that resembles the hot-dog eating competition. Coming in second, America? And now, your haikus about polishing a turd. Busy solving math / no time for stupid turd / go away wee boy You shut and save it / it is so special to you / shiney but not
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