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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Sep 25, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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I'm half sad, but it's half funny
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Don't Google micropenis for capturing the win. But seriously... don't. In second, Not another political team name which is my favorite political anything right now. Seriously... We are a nation of idiots.  Goodbye Arnold Palmer, the inventor of indecision and mixing two beverages for balance. In honor of his death, your assignment was new celebrity namesake drinks.  In haiku form: Kanye West / champagne and malt liquor / served in mirror glasses Chuck Norris / Everclear, tabasco / served on fire   The Charlie Sheen: Start
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Sep 21, 2016
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[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Why gold?
Dr. Nick

Some nights you simply cannot see the outcome, and that was this quiz. I have been doing this long enough that I can usually pick out the winner after the first four rounds. Often after the first two. But this was a close one, and with the big wildcard in round three, it was anyone’s game. So I was excited to give the top prize to Gangsters in Space? who continue to have one of my favorite team names. In second, one of my favorites, Can you get pubic lice in your beard? Asking for a friend. And our topic for the night was thanks to a Canadian man who was smuggling gold pucks in his rectum. (Fun fact, the judge in this case is Judge Doody.
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Sep 18, 2016
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[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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I did taw a puddy tat
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to our winners, Maybe a healthy fear of Virginia Wolf wouldn’t hurt after all and the second-place team, Liar, Liar Samsung on Fire. Now, let’s corrupt our innocence of Saturday morning and after-school cartoons! A fuzzy white blob of smoo Never met a ‘toon he wouldn’t screw He shagged Scooby Doo He scrapped Scrappy Doo too And he smurfed Smurfette ‘til she turned Smurf!   This character Long Dong Fooey Fucked Mighty Mouse til he said, “soooooeeee” He took a huge stroke They
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Sep 14, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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This just in: Napoleon
Dr. Nick

Congrats to Crack Suicide Squad for pulling off a win, thanks to their master knowledge of the periodic table. Close behind, Fish sticks in and around your mouth finished in second. Now our haikus on Napoleon’s entry into Moscow… And Snapchat Josephine is fine / but I hunger for Moscow / Putin on a Ritz Though my hands are small / I don’t have a small penis / Russia is just cold Don’t care if I’m short / Invaded Russia for sport / Eat my fucking torte Horny little man / Mother Russia is frigid / ow, mon petite prick! Napoleon poo’d / he poo’d a really large doo / Snapchat
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Sep 11, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Basket of deplorables, hold the fry sauce
Dr. Nick

Talk about failing at your goals. Fourth place or bust was in fifth place after round three, then also after round seven. So I told them to try just a little harder, and they… Won the whole damn thing. I’m so disappointed in them. Just behind was Only half deplorables, who named their team after every dish served at Applebees. And now, the continuing saga of our clown crime in the U.S.A. Hey, I should write that song. Found a wild Bozo But not a Pikachu Bozo uses splash It is very effective The clown watches you / while you sleep and while you eat / he slowly jacks
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Sep 07, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Welcome to clown town
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to The Rural Juror for capturing the win, and Crack Suicide Squad for finishing in second. Salt Messiahs, you were just killing it all night with your consistently strong scores, and some of the best poetry in the house! Our topic was, in the wake of these weird clown attacks that have now spread from South Carolina to Ohio, I thought we should help the clowns improve their sales pitch to improve their success rate of getting kids to follow them. You are horrible people. I love you all! Out of the dark woods / I crave the sight of your blood / come here and please me Balloon animals /
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Sep 04, 2016
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You had me at taco
Dr. Nick

There have been a lot of ridiculous, libelous, and batshit crazy things spoken this year. Presidential elections always show you exactly which of your friends are morons, and need you to comfort them, and racists who need to be unfriended. It’s about time something intelligent was said. A taco cart on every corner. When the term “trickle down” is used, no one quite understands what a real trickle down economy is. But a taco cart on every corner? That has trickle potential. Think of all the tortilla makers needed to supply these carts! The butchers! The short-order cooks! The farmers to grow the vegetables. The dairies to supply all this sour cream
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Aug 31, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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What Would Jesus Bottle?
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Death by Misadventure in our most topsy-turvy standings this night. Right behind them, Trump’s Lumps finished second. Our question, on the heels of an Australian entrepreneur canning the sweet Aussie air for people in China and other countries with horrid air quality (cough… U.S.  cough…), I asked what we in SLC could package for our friends in China to get rich quick. The haikus: Meth bum bandanges / soaked in SLC Street Juice / and inversion muck What is better than / Chinese food made by white folk / let’s chow them the mein Oblivious smiles / sugar bathed in righteousness
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Aug 28, 2016
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[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Mr. Superhero is my father's name
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to our winners, Yeah, dick move, Chad! Two of their members are off to relocate to the magical land of Wisconsin. Enjoy the cheeses! Behind them, Oh shit, I can’t read this out loud finished with the second place prize. And your topic, Dr. Nick’s superhero secret identity. Which is funny, because my secret identify is being another superhero! Faster than a paralyzed turtle. Able to leap tall beetles in a single bound. Let Underdog call Superman when you are in need! There once was a geek named Nick, with reflexes super quick. You could call him a gamer, or pro entertainer, He wanted
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Saturday, Aug 27, 2016
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Accio Pub Quiz!
Dr. Nick

We packed the house and danced our asses off to all the finest Wizard Rock that genre has to offer. Thankfully, there was about 3 hours of it. Thank you to everyone for coming out and lighting up Piper Down for this very special Geeky Cauldron quiz. Congratulations to our winners, Gilderoy Pop & Lock, and everyone else who played so well through the eight rounds of mischief.  Remember, we're always back at Piper Down every Sunday and Wednesday for just as much fun! See you next time. 
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Aug 24, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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You're a porn star, 'Arry
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to the team whose team name was just drawings of mostly sentient penises. God help us all. In second, Things you hear in a whorehouse luckily passed the rest of the pack in this very tie-heavy night. Now, on the eve of our Harry Potter quiz, your HP erorica! Hagrid told Harry / you’re a wizard now, take my / Nine and three quarters Neville did not know / that the body binding curse / made everything hard Where did Harry go? / Only Hermoine can tell / Snitch in the back door God, Hermoine / is such a blast-ended skank / when she gets too drunk Ginny was not there / and Harry was going down / on his best friend
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  • Quiz Image
Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Aug 21, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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There once was a man-child named Ryan
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Crystal Math for capturing the win, and I’ll think about it for coming in a close second! So what would have been better crime cover-ups for the U.S. gold-medal liar? Ryan Lochte from the states, he made some crucial mistakes Was found as a vandal, it was such a big scandal But the pee in the pool wasn’t caught   His name is Ryan Lochte, he doesn’t have a very big cock He was caught in a scandal, and listed a vandal But when his bladder was full, and he peed in the pool We all know he should have been caught   There
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Aug 17, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Stupid Lamprey Eels!
QuizBitch Jen

Nick's advice to watch out for them was not misguided. They showed up in droves and nearly ate Nikki! Alas, without any photographic evidence, he'll never believe me.   In keeping with the "What's in the Box?" tradition, I had players write haikus or draw pictures detailing exactly how one Olympic pole vaulter's dreams were smashed- much like his turgid boner, smacking the pole...     Vaulter, Swo Lin Dong Winning's a game of inches Throbbing, robbing wins     The pole vaulted me My dick disqualified me This is a haiku     I'll only be too,
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Aug 14, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
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The Ballad of Bernie Sanders
QuizGentleman Bryton

Ah yes, Piper Down, I return to you once more. This is where I played my first quiz, won my first quiz, sang my first karaoke song ever, and performed my first round of quiz during my training. The smell is so familiar to me. These are hallowed halls for ol' Quizgentleman Bryton.    The Glendale Gropers is a horrifying concept, but a nice name for a team. I look forward to meeting the Bountiful Ballpit Bandit, the Lehi Lemon Thief, and the Murray Machete Man.   I expected more groans and sob during the Bernie Sanders audio round. Maybe you were too shocked. Or maybe you just don't care any more.   I
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Long time geeking drinker, noted public orator.

Mondays at Devil's Daughter 8pm Tuesdays at Dick N' Dixies 7:30pm Thursdays at Lumpy's Downtown 7:00pm


  • Quiz Image
Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Aug 10, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Talk about a hot Pinto
Dr. Nick

I am loving the progressive team names. This time, Pen Island took a stab at filling the world of film with new ideas: Pen Island High: Class of ‘06 Pen Island 2: Electric Boogooloo Big Trouble on Little Pen Island Nightmare on Pen Island Let’s greenlight all of these! Congrats to Malted hops and bong resin for pulling off a narrow victory over Crack Suicide Squad! See you all next time, but first, the haiku topic was back seat tragedies: In the backseat high / I went all the way inside / five kids later, die My parents, they said / my conception, was in fact / back seat tragedy The
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  • Quiz Image
Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Aug 07, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Who likes babies?
Dr. Nick

And on this night, our winning team had an evolving team name. What began as We like babies transformed through the night: No really, we like babies > Babies are tremendous > Actually, get that baby out of here > I hate babies > I have tiny baby hands! > I can’t believe that mom thought I was serious Well done! Coming up in second, Math Camp nailed our Dead or Alive music round. Which makes us wonder where they were when… Nevermind, Biggie’s still alive. Now, your haikus on an Octopus with a cold! Need to go to store / eight more boxes of tissues / one box for each arm Octopussy
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