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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Aug 24, 2016
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You're a porn star, 'Arry
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to the team whose team name was just drawings of mostly sentient penises. God help us all. In second, Things you hear in a whorehouse luckily passed the rest of the pack in this very tie-heavy night. Now, on the eve of our Harry Potter quiz, your HP erorica! Hagrid told Harry / you’re a wizard now, take my / Nine and three quarters Neville did not know / that the body binding curse / made everything hard Where did Harry go? / Only Hermoine can tell / Snitch in the back door God, Hermoine / is such a blast-ended skank / when she gets too drunk Ginny was not there / and Harry was going down / on his best friend
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Aug 21, 2016
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There once was a man-child named Ryan
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Crystal Math for capturing the win, and I’ll think about it for coming in a close second! So what would have been better crime cover-ups for the U.S. gold-medal liar? Ryan Lochte from the states, he made some crucial mistakes Was found as a vandal, it was such a big scandal But the pee in the pool wasn’t caught   His name is Ryan Lochte, he doesn’t have a very big cock He was caught in a scandal, and listed a vandal But when his bladder was full, and he peed in the pool We all know he should have been caught   There
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Aug 17, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Stupid Lamprey Eels!
QuizBitch Jen

Nick's advice to watch out for them was not misguided. They showed up in droves and nearly ate Nikki! Alas, without any photographic evidence, he'll never believe me.   In keeping with the "What's in the Box?" tradition, I had players write haikus or draw pictures detailing exactly how one Olympic pole vaulter's dreams were smashed- much like his turgid boner, smacking the pole...     Vaulter, Swo Lin Dong Winning's a game of inches Throbbing, robbing wins     The pole vaulted me My dick disqualified me This is a haiku     I'll only be too,
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  • Quiz Image
Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Aug 14, 2016
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[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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The Ballad of Bernie Sanders
QuizGentleman Bryton

Ah yes, Piper Down, I return to you once more. This is where I played my first quiz, won my first quiz, sang my first karaoke song ever, and performed my first round of quiz during my training. The smell is so familiar to me. These are hallowed halls for ol' Quizgentleman Bryton.    The Glendale Gropers is a horrifying concept, but a nice name for a team. I look forward to meeting the Bountiful Ballpit Bandit, the Lehi Lemon Thief, and the Murray Machete Man.   I expected more groans and sob during the Bernie Sanders audio round. Maybe you were too shocked. Or maybe you just don't care any more.   I
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Long time geeking drinker, noted public orator.

Mondays at Devil's Daughter 8pm Tuesdays at Dick N' Dixies 7:30pm Thursdays at Lumpy's Downtown 7:00pm


  • Quiz Image
Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Aug 10, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Talk about a hot Pinto
Dr. Nick

I am loving the progressive team names. This time, Pen Island took a stab at filling the world of film with new ideas: Pen Island High: Class of ‘06 Pen Island 2: Electric Boogooloo Big Trouble on Little Pen Island Nightmare on Pen Island Let’s greenlight all of these! Congrats to Malted hops and bong resin for pulling off a narrow victory over Crack Suicide Squad! See you all next time, but first, the haiku topic was back seat tragedies: In the backseat high / I went all the way inside / five kids later, die My parents, they said / my conception, was in fact / back seat tragedy The
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  • Quiz Image
Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Aug 07, 2016
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[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Who likes babies?
Dr. Nick

And on this night, our winning team had an evolving team name. What began as We like babies transformed through the night: No really, we like babies > Babies are tremendous > Actually, get that baby out of here > I hate babies > I have tiny baby hands! > I can’t believe that mom thought I was serious Well done! Coming up in second, Math Camp nailed our Dead or Alive music round. Which makes us wonder where they were when… Nevermind, Biggie’s still alive. Now, your haikus on an Octopus with a cold! Need to go to store / eight more boxes of tissues / one box for each arm Octopussy
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  • Quiz Image
Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Aug 03, 2016
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[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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2.5 condoms per day
Dr. Nick

So apparently the audio round was a little tough? Nothing like a little extra growl in a song to throw you off. Congratulations to Crack Suicide Squad for capturing the win, and Hyena for President for finishing in second. So what is the atmosphere at the Olympic Village, where every athlete has 2.5 condoms per day to use? Gold medal for sex? / This sounds inconceivable! / It’s fucking Brazil! Gold, silver, and bronze / every athlete really wants / a bit of latex Bunny ear balloons / much lubed wrestling equipment / women’s sports are great We all want to fuck / brand new Olympic event / makes for good TV Yo
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  • Quiz Image
Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Jul 31, 2016
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Robot love
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to I’m not a thief, but you should see my snatch for capturing the win. Just behind them, We found these answers on the internet. Our topic for the night: Robot love! My gears full of lube / on involuntary leak / please fill me up Activate piston / dip your shaft in Valvoline / tear my asshole up I would like to fuck / but I am just a robot / and I have no butt Kinky robots need / lots of oil to have sex / so grease those pistons I put my crankshaft / into your sexy muffler / bolts fly everywhere Guy banging / a tailpipe, mechaphile style / not room for doggy You do exactly
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Jul 27, 2016
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Not my hands, not my problem
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Squirrel for president for pulling off a great win. Democratic Gorgons came in a close second. Our topic tonight, the first double-hand transplant recipient wants them removed. Why? Rights vs. Southpaws / old conflict with new weapons / digital warfare No foreign objects/ the doctors didn’t warn me / the stranger danger Possessed demon hand / deer head’s laughing at me / dead by dawn, tree rape My hands were someone else’s before I could jerk / Now I have found that I was a much better fuck One the one hand: Boom / on the other hand: chainsaw / hail to the king, baby With
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Jul 24, 2016
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I apologize that you thought I was pretentious
Dr. Nick

Huge congratulations to America? for pulling off a win tonight, with Farticle Accelerator just behind them in second. And now, your rejected Dwarves from the Snow White fairy tale! Druggy was so sad / he needed a fix so bad / no money he had Chubby was so limp / he wanted to get laid, pimp / but he’s just a gimp G money, I’m fly / all the ladies please come by / me love you long time Sucky’s height was great / for blowing Disney’s large cock / but the scene was cut ADHD what? / Dwarf be like, look at that slut / Suck my balls and dick The 7 rejected Dwarves: Floozy, Sleazy, Skeezy,
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Jul 20, 2016
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This blog post written by GOP speechwriters
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Playing our woman card for pulling off a very narrow win over Crack Suicide Squad in our GOP-heavy night. So what if Melania decided to expand her speech sources to other more prominent writers like… E.L. James, or Stephanie Meyer? Don’t abort werewolves / 50 Shades of sparkly juice / paint Mexican walls Penis, a penis / just a big penis toupee / the Grey first lady Masturbatory / no social security / for the Grey baby The nation is bleeding, the illegal immigrant vampires / shan’t climb our walls, and won’t drain us dry of our / dildo factory jobs Roses are red, violets
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Jul 17, 2016
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[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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What is that??
Dr. Nick

There are nights when a team name is just too filthy to be read aloud. And then there was this night, where that was literally someone’s name. Congratulations to The team name too filthy to be read aloud for capturing the win, and Butt Soup for finishing in second, despite their name being just filth. Literally. So what’s under the bed?? Absolutely zilch / mattress on the floor, no frame / lost the instructions Dead bird, oh dead bird / you’ll never wake up again / sorry, not sorry The dead hooker was / starting to smell a bit off / Febreeze did not help
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Jul 13, 2016
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[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Gotta swipe 'em all
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to I didn’t think I had a gag reflex, apparently I do for winning a very close night. Crack Suicide Squad finished right behind them. Naturally, Pokemon will take over our dating/hookup apps. It will all be an adventure. So here are our haikus about Pokemon and Tindr becoming one! I will poke your balls / swipe right for lure of your life / we’ll adventure there No Eevees for me / I swipe right for Charizard / Let me Pikachu Jokes about dick pics / creepy sex things about Squirtle / too old for this shit Swipe left, Swipe left, stop! / will you be my Pikachu? / Because I choose you Ashe
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  • Quiz Image
Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Jul 10, 2016
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Ya just gotta!
Dr. Nick

It was a bittersweet Sunday as we send off The Chairman. Sundays will never be the same. But we managed to have a good night, despite the going away, the absolute chaos in our nation, and the practically unbreathable air outside that will probably turn us inside out. At least we have booze, laughs, and Pokemon Go. Now if we can get people to show up and vote, we could hope for improvements beyond better battery life in our phones to play more Pokemon. Congratulations to ::fart noise:: for their win, and being a team whose name was just a sound effect. Just behind them, Hello Nick! finished second. And our topic of the night: when platypus
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Jul 06, 2016
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Independence from yourself
Dr. Nick

Phase one of fireworks month is past. We have survived, and not burned down the whole valley. Now to get everyone back from camping trips and vacations. Congratulations to Crack Suicide Squad for capturing the win, and Team Big Fact Hunt for finishing second. So what else should we put in Joey Chestnut’s championship mouth? His mouth wide open / an orifice for all things / the good, bad, and ugly Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! / Everbody! Cock! Cock! Cock! / Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Cock! Joey Chestnut ate / Donald Trump in a few bites / and saved the damn world Next fourth of July / Chestnut should snack
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  • Quiz Image
Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Jul 03, 2016
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[Sundays @ 7:30 pm]
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Happy illusion of freedom day!
Dr. Nick

‘Twas the night before Independence Day and we were bringing the house down with laughs a plenty. Thanks for taking a break from lighting fireworks to have some drinks in a safe environment. Congratulations to Bi-Curious George and the disappointing banana on capturing the win, with Chardee MacDennis just behind them with the second-place finish. And our topic for the night, your parent’s Independence Day positions! Bukkake shoots far / all over the face / mom, dad, bukkake July is for rodeo / mom and dad honored it by / riding bare cowgirl Gallagher humping / only to make that wee me / always stoned and drunk Forget
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