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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, May 21, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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My log has something to tell you
Dr. Nick

Wow! What a night, and congratulations to our winners, 50 shades of African Grey! In second, Mr. Peanutbutter’s Hollywoo Allstars were a force to be reckoned with. So, continuing my 90s theme, what do we need back from that decade? I don’t know what you’ve been told But basketball has sure gone cold If you like burning hot, fiery coals
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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Just call the kid Darth Emo
Dr. Nick

Way to pull off this win, Moil High Club! Just behind them, Cat Buttcheeks edged out the third-place tie of The Glam Fam and Drunks Who Geek. Excellent night for all! So, Kylo is a leading children’s name in the U.S., because Darth Emo just sounds too formal. And that is our topic of the night, baby name disasters:  Kylo Ren, a name I used to know But then I watched Star Wars, now I can’t see my bro My parents never told me my brother’s namesake When he finds out, he will think it was a mistake We thought we did well / but it turns out we
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, May 14, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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Hello mother
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Spicer likes the bush, who won, and Flowers for Alderaan for finishing second. Of course, our topic had to be about moms. If you know what I mean. See her yellow skin / blue hair towers up above / Homer need not know She’s so hot / wonder what other / tricks she’s got They were all hot once / someone screwed your mom as well / people fuck mothers It’s P.S. I love / you, except it’s P.S. I / wanna fuck your mom Your mom is / hot. Totally not / a real thought She is hot as fuck / she loves the band The Eagles / do you know Nick’s mom? I see her over
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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The Truth is on Fire
Dr. Nick

Everyone has a weakness. Especially true in this quiz, where there was at least one real kryptonite round for everyone. But Dick move, Chad came out on top and was victorious in all their prize winnings. Just behind them, The Musket Ears, and The Stepdads rounded out the top three teams. With the FBI being in the news, it was time to discuss our beloved Mulder and Scully. Enjoy! Mulder and Scully / They both love to be bullied / and now there’s no top Fuck to solve cases / let’s suck each others faces / best TV ever   There once was a Mulder named Fox Who could make
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, May 07, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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Pepe Le Pew
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Bang your teacher, become president for winning, and 50 shades of African grey for finishing second right behind them. In honor of France’s election, here is your Pepe Le Pew eroritica. Roses are red Violets are pretty Pepe Le Pew once Tried to fuck a kitty Oh Pepe Le Pew / how I love you darling / come catch this pussy Just got to the pub / trivia night here with my friends / late to the party Like the hairy French / paint a stripe on that pussy / and munch the carpet Like Limburger cheese / oh my skunk passion rages / lick that asshole clean You
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Thursday, May 04, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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Approximately 4 Bothans
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Sharkbag for capturing the big win. The force was certainly with them. Just behind them, Too Many Bothans did great, edging their way into second, and Only bitches deal in absolutes finished a strong third. So, we asked for your droid concepts for sex-droids, and as usual, you did not disappoint! Alone at night and need nookie? Don’t fret, snuggle up with iWookie!   Lightsabres are red Lightsabres are blue They come in different colors Do you? (Yes, because you’re a Twi’lek)   With
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, May 03, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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Tree hands!
Dr. Nick

What can I say aside from HUGE CONGRATULATIONS TO Cheat for 4th! They managed to come out on top, edging out Putin’s Dick Holster for the win. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish binge-watching the holy trilogy once more before the Star Wars quiz! Our topic was Bob Ross on acid, and boy were your drawings great. Here are a couple haikus: We don’t make mistakes / only happy acid-dents / except for this trip Happy little trees / a touch of cadmium white / oh god! They’re moving!
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Apr 30, 2017
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[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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ET Phone Home
Dr. Nick

Well big congratulations go to Gordon Hayward’s Haircut for squeaking past the rest and winning tonight. In second, Hasidic Vagina Hair 2: The Legend of Curly’s Gold.   And now your poetry on the flaws of the new alien victim of crime hotline!   Aliens suck… Trump’s dick… And take him away… To outer darkness   You thought it was to ID foes But your fetish for bedazzled toes Got in the way Of what you’d say About those beaner UFOs   Roses
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Apr 26, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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Let's call it, funemployment
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to The Guesstapo for winning this highly-competitive night with a bar bursting at the seams. In second, Apes a poppin were so close behind.   Now, our topic was job changes, since we’ll be losing pretty much all doctors, police, scientists, hope… Dr. Nick switched work / first he was a pro-fluffer / then fister, then jerk Detroit steel workers / dressing up like Taylor Swift / control your boner There once was a cop / who wanted to cop a feel / now he implants breasts Fuck being a chef / I’m going to work retail / this job pays better Once a failed tycoon / sports
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Apr 23, 2017
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[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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Happy birthday, Willie
Dr. Nick

Well congratulations to Chaffetz? for coming out victorious in our night, and Relevant Elephant finished second. Our topic, it was Shakespeare’s birthday! So here are our birthday wishes, and ideas for Willie Shakes’ life in our time, which would likely be a TV executive. To my friend Shakespeare / happy fucking birthday dude / hope you get that dick You wrote us some plays / we learned them in middle school / happy birthday, Will A bard he may be / but why does he watch so much  / free Lifetime movies A young noble girl / the stars are crossed Juliet / do not drink that vial He helps the bad
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Apr 19, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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J-Chay: public enemy #2
Dr. Nick

Thanks to Uinta Brewing for joining us last night, and their great support for our National Parks. Congratulations to Moil High Club for winning a very tightly contested quiz, and Cousins with benefits in second. Now, your poetry for the man who has managed to be less popular than Mitch McConnell, who looks like if a Muppet were evil and also an insufferable dick. J- Chay, your last day was today And holy shit, I feel so gay If you’d stay We’d all be sayin, fuckin’ Mayday!   Take your bets On when Chaffetz Comes out to the rest “I’m born from
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Apr 16, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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Bunnies, man
Dr. Nick

Happy something bunny holiday that I’m pretty sure is not observed correctly, but hurray candy, right? Now if only America knew how to make chocolate… It’s okay, I have a small stash of Kinder Surprise eggs for the kids. Because despite being highly illegal, they’re safer than guns… Anyways, congratulations to Mr. Peanutbutter and the Hollywoo Allstars. Celebrities, do they know things? Let’s find out! for capturing the win, and Freedom of Mouth for finishing second. See you next week! Kylo Ren, you are my friend I love your hair, and your stare Welcome back, from the eternal
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Apr 12, 2017
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[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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United, we fall
Dr. Nick

It has been one of those weeks. One of those weeks where you weep for the present and the future, because humanity simply cannot learn from the past. It is too easy for big business to manipulate people into accepting the worst possible outcome, and to suspend rational thought. At the same time, though, there are many of us who are significantly less stupid than others, and I love each of you that fit into that category. So, congratulations to Permafrost Dumpster for their win, and The Holocaust Center for finishing in second. Great work, all! Our poetry from tonight: I waited for food / United Chinese takeout / voluntold, no
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Apr 09, 2017
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[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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We mustn't dwell, no not today
Dr. Nick

Congratulations to Desert Dumpster for capturing the win on this very special Rex Manning Day (observed), and Malcom X in the Middle for finishing with the second place prize. I feel bad, because our topic was all about sex in public, and there are a lot of good ones… Though missing currently. Hopefully I will find those and share those with everyone, but until then, make sure you watch Empire Records if you haven’t recently. It’s a timeless classic. Joe is our lord and savior. See you next time!
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Wednesday, Apr 05, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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Top o' the box office to ya
Dr. Nick

Big shout-out to The Stepdads for capturing a very challenging win, and to JRP is #1 for capturing second place. Our topic, on the results of Shia LaBeouf’s disappointing UK opening of his latest film, we are pitching in some potential career advice. Shia becomes a web-cam / girl with lonely sad men / paying to watch him live Running for your life / Kekistani Spec Ops: Frogs / you are divided Acting didn’t work / activism didn’t work / plan c: rare Pepes Shia took his things/ to Ireland he traveled / he’s leprechaun now Sia paid Shia / to live in a cage / no more shitty films There
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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT
84115
Sunday, Apr 02, 2017
[Wednesdays @ 7:30 pm]
[Sundays @ 8:00 pm]
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I can show you the world
Dr. Nick

Congrats to Russian Probe for capturing the win. It was totally legit. I swear. Both QM Stage Manager and I checked the voting machines and they weren’t tampered with. In second, Sarcasm – it beats killing people. Now, your dirty thoughts about the happiest place on earth. He and she in one / a quiet Ping and you’re done / then bring on the Huns Swimming in sperm clouds / this mermaid is pregnant / with Flounder’s own kin Get down to business / never gonna catch my breath / make a man out of you As Ariel found / legs for use on the dry land / still left her very wet Can you paint with
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