• Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, May 15, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

This is Wholly Appropriate
PFS

Who knew that the most appropriate song to describe the current presidency would have been sung by Britney Spears almost 20 years ago?  Even though that song is awful, in my humble opinion, the context of "Oops, I did it Again" is wholly more admirable than then the situation I've just equated it to.  And that's saying something.  A teenage girl who previously shook her goodies around in an overly sexualized school girl routine who graduates up to discussing romantic entanglements being a game she plays with other people's emotions is definitely "wholly appropriate."   I wish presidencies had theme songs though, it would certainly liven up the press briefings or at the
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, May 08, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

laundromat rambling
PFS

Having never seen an opera in person or on tv or in any format whatsoever, based on last night, I can safely say that there is no difference between them and the mass produced and readily consumed soap operas that are on tv each and every day.   Again that is based solely on the fact that neither you nor I could differentiate the two last night.  I guess I can accept the fact that there are ridiculously plotted operas and that the idea of marrying dead nuns or shooting eagles in order to gain the affection of your desired lady is plausible in the opera world; they're in other languages, so why not be about some random shit, I'm not following
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, May 01, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Jump Around, if You Must
PFS

Allow me to begin with the most cliched of opening sentences and say that last night was a pretty damn good turnout and I’m glad folks are getting the memo and heading on over to play, because, while I am capable of entertaining 3 or 4 teams, it bodes well for me to have more people there, broadening my chances of someone liking any jokes I make.  That being said I did get partial laughs on a few of them from about 20% of you, keeping in mind that those statistics and any other statistics I use are made up, I’d say it was pretty good night.  In other news I found out that I and someone else both attended the prestigious San Diego State
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Apr 24, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Nationwide is on Your Side, well not mine
PFS

Is is just me or are fantasy novels getting shittier and shittier?  I came across this description of a dystopian future and found it to be a little lacking in substance and believability.  I mean i know it's fantasy but come on...a president named Donny and a bunch of sell outs in a white house?  Let’s get real.  Anyway, you can let me know what your thoughts are.  I think it's by some up and coming writer named K.A. Conway and it’s called “You Didn’t Hear This From Me”. ‘In the White House there lived a bunch of weathered, creepy sell-outs claiming
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Apr 17, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

All Assholes use Alliteration, Always
PFS

Is there a better time to be in a bar with tv's tuned into sports than right now?  I can't think of one...we're in the home stretch of march madness, to baseball starting, to the NHL playoffs, finally to where we are now with the latter two still going and oh yeah, also the NBA playoffs.  It's a very effective way of getting me to do almost nothing every night when I get home, much to the anger of my lovely wife.  It's also a great bit of distraction for me while sitting around the bar, reading questions to all your lovely faces.  That being said, I did pretty well last night, mostly because the spurs were blowing the grizzlies out and there was no hockey or baseball anywhere
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Apr 10, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

A Peek Inside
PFS

There are a couple of things that struck me last night as the quiz was taking place and I was sitting back observing you all, as I am want to do.  First, is the fact that once again, my freaking Dodgers are going to suck hard against left handed pitching.  Apparently there is just no way around it, so if you want to beat them and you’re a righty, just switch hands and lob that shit on up there, because they will evidently strike out a million times or ground into double plays with the bases loaded or shit the bed in general.  It’s going to be a fun season.  I shouldn’t be so pessimistic after game 8 of 162, but dammit if
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Apr 03, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Less Zag and more Zig would have been better
PFS

I don’t know if it was at all noticeable to any of you people playing last night, but I was effing tired going into that quiz.  I like to think it wasn’t noticeable but then again I’ve slept like 6 hours the last 3 nights so I don’t really have a clue.  And before you start rushing to judgements and assuming that I’ve been on a bender or I just got back from Vegas or that I have insomnia or that my upstairs neighbor stomp dances from midnight to 6 am, just stop, because I am only tired from the impractically purchased puppy that we got on Saturday.  Yes, I knew that puppy rearing is like baby rearing, and double
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Mar 27, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

What is Russian salad dressing?
PFS

It is that week again.  A week of no alarms; no $3 cups of coffee that take me 3 hours to drink; no sitting in the car for 45 minutes in the morning and another effing 45 minutes in the afternoon for a 10 mile round trip; not forgetting to brush my teeth and putting toothpaste straight on my tongue in order to only slightly offend the folks that i talk to throughout the day; and most importantly, and this can’t be stressed enough, no pointless, redundant, and repetitive, derivative, boring, and unbelievable emails that I have to respond to or else I get another email telling me to be diligent on the emails...in other words I’m on spring break.
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Mar 20, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

I'm Going through Changes
PFS

From time to time I find some inspiration for these posts from things that happen at the quiz, this however, is not one of those times.  That’s not to say that last night did not include its fair share of inspiring moments, because there definitely was; from the understandably audible groan that followed the introduction of round 3, to the fascinating conversation taking place at the table directly in front of me...lots of things happened, as they are want to do.  But, like I said earlier, this post is about none of that.  Not even the dominant win of team We put the Uffle in Shuffle
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Mar 13, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

No I didn't Mean Wiretap literally, did you see the Quotes...Duh.
PFS

Well, well, well...three weeks have come and gone and it finally seems as though I’m hitting a stride at the dear old Yukon Tavern.  I haven’t stumbled over any words with massive frequency, I’ve mostly pronounced the team names right, I’ve yet to spill beer on myself, I haven’t electrocuted myself or others, I mean, it’s all lining up pretty well for y’all.  Hopefully I can avoid what is a permeating theme in my life, and refrain from fucking this up.  We’ll see.  Anyway, last night brought us some extremely healthy competition, as most teams killed it on a consistent basis.  We had a
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Mar 06, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

The Voice is Only Slightly Affecting this Title
PFS

And just like that we’re back to normal.  I’ve been extremely worried since the last time we spoke (well since the last time I spoke at you) and that’s because things started to get very weird.  Yes while we’ve all come to love and cherish, expect and desire, blindly follow and never question our daily Presidential twitter update, since it's the only thing keeping us fully informed of the real things actually happening in the world, suddenly Tuesday came and some old, politician-y looking guy, started reading prepared statements to us from a teleprompter, like some sort of Washington elite. It was a very troublesome 24 hours,
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Feb 27, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Off to a, Well, Let's Say... Start
PFS

It’s always a little unnerving to me being thrust into a new place, much like I was last night.   When I joined y’all over at the Yukon Tavern for my weekly quiz duties it was very clear to me that, as a very red necked uncle of mine told me, “y’all’s good people.”  Now that may barely be a sentence by most folk’s standards, but I assure you it’s a good thing.  As I read back over those sentences I can see that I am very poorly representing myself and my many hours spent in English classes, but all of got for you tonight is a bunch of run-ons and far too many possessive contractions.  Anyway,
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Hey Everybody...It's Pat.  No, not the sexually ambiguous character from that SNL sketch (I wish), but the man with the lower body of a child bearing woman, except my vagina's an outey. So, I guess sort of ambiguous, but I promise I'm super cool.  I'm a 26 year old high school English teacher in training.  Turns out I love the sound of my own voice so much that I thought I ought to get this job talking in front of strangers on top of teaching their kids.  I am a former full time stand up comedian/imporviser, doing that as much as I possibly still can, so forgive me in advance for constantly trying material on you without you knowing. I don't know what else to say about myself...I like dogs, the Dodgers, and American Lit; so if you're up on any of those then let me know cuz we'll be friends.  If you wanna know anything else just ask, I'm approachable, I swear...I don't bite...too often (only 5 times in my life, which is only like 1 person every 5.2 years).  So there!  


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Feb 20, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Whoa, dude, Whoa
Sean Franson

The basement smelled funny. It wasn't the first thing to notice, but he did. He was running for his life, away from that woman with the knife. He never expected to be here, or running for his life at all, but sometimes we don't choose our fates. Nevertheless, the basement smelled funny. Like he hadn't been the first one down here, maybe. Lived in.   Strange though, that the furniture was pristine, and the food still in its wrappers. Non-perishable stuff; crackers, processed cheeses, peanut butter. Arranged perfectly, in pyramids. No fruit, nothing healthy at all. But he could survive down here for days, maybe weeks if he played his cards right. He didn't know how long
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I'm so excited to be hosting Pub Quiz for Geeks who Drink! I moved to Portland 4 years ago with my wife, Gayle, to attend grad school at PSU. I've since earned a Master's Degree in Theater, with an emphasis on Performance. Hopefully I can fold some of that into rocking the mic like a vandal. Did that make me sound old? I feel old.


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Feb 13, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

I’m not even supposed to be here today
DanMaster Quiz

It’s difficult to type with a puppy in your lap. So it was a short farewell from Yukon for me. Happy to help in a pinch though and I’ll be back next week too. The Recently in Stuff round gets more depressing as the year rolls on. I don’t know what’s real anymore. Typical Team Names are Not our Forte rolls up right on time and effortlessly earns the first drink of the night. He Thinks it’s a Schwinn didn’t hate the
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My name is Dan and I enjoy most things. My favorite things are: my girlfriend, television, and my cat, Mowgli. My second favorite things are: beer, board games, and burgers. I'm from New England but I don't have an accent unless I get too drunk (then it comes on wicked hahd).


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Jan 30, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Roll with the Changes
DanMaster Quiz

It's not the last blog I'll write so it's not going to be the sappiest thing in the world, but it might be. Yukon Tavern has been a SE staple far longer than I've existed, let alone lived in PDX. Despite a reputation of disdain for recent transplants, I've only ever felt warmth and acceptance from the local patrons. 2016 was weird and tumultuous, both nationally and personally. We started the year talking about Bernie Sanders and dead celebrities, and finished with the apocalypse. One thing I could always count on- hanging out with you all, Monday nights at Yukon Tavern. Nascent rivalries between Original Yukon and Guy @ Bar and
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My name is Dan and I enjoy most things. My favorite things are: my girlfriend, television, and my cat, Mowgli. My second favorite things are: beer, board games, and burgers. I'm from New England but I don't have an accent unless I get too drunk (then it comes on wicked hahd).


  • Quiz Image
Yukon Tavern
5819 SE Milwaukie Ave
Portland, OR
97202
Monday, Jan 23, 2017
[Mondays @ 7:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Who Gives a F*** About an Oxford Comma?
DanMaster Quiz

  The folks on Ketchup Smear are still figuring out how to use utensils but they're at least provided with plenty of team name inspiration. For many weeks, Pitcher Perfect, has been chirping their denials of the one true god and greatest quarterback of all time, Tom Brady. I accept your begrudging congratulations. Monday Night Delight slipped into a predictable lead early in the quiz, even with my scoring error. Free Melania gave me wood during the scoring break. Pretzel Logic earned, lost, and earned another bonus drink in their return to Yukon. I remember being
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My name is Dan and I enjoy most things. My favorite things are: my girlfriend, television, and my cat, Mowgli. My second favorite things are: beer, board games, and burgers. I'm from New England but I don't have an accent unless I get too drunk (then it comes on wicked hahd).