• Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Mar 23, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Notes from the Penalty Box
Dynamite Dan(ielle)

Hi all! I’m Danielle, filling in for your usual QM-about-town Osman. What a treat this was, sitting and surveying you all from my very own little crow’s nest! Not only did I get to fulfil my childhood dreams of having my very own playplace that NOBODY ELSE COULD COME INTO, I returned to the scene of the crime, so to speak. Yup, the first Geeks Who Drink quiz I ever played was back here in 2009. It’s nice to come back and have all the answers, because Alligator Kittens from Space definitely didn’t win that time. Also, this place has the most bangin’ beer. There’s some real advantages to having Canadians running bars in town—La Fin du Monde among
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Jeopardy queen, Irish dancer, part-time writer, full-time disaster.


  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Mar 16, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Ya bring the earl?
Osman

I need more earl. Gimme the earl. All day. Every day. Ya ever go night night? YA EVER GO NIGHT NIGHT?!Things we learned at quiz:1. Apparently there's some sort of athletic tournament going on? Nothing I like more than a competitive bout of sportsball.2. This one team said the Tennessee Williams vs Nashville round was dumb. It's like they think I care or something.3. Settlers of Catan is the greatest game ever made. Period. Bar none. And no, I do not want your damn sheep, you gotta sweeten it a little bit! Just to see what it tastes like!4. Here is to Mr. Iacocca and his failed experiment, the DeLorean.5.
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Mar 09, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

See ya, Gary
Osman

I just saw this commercial for a drug called "Movantik". This is word for word what the paid actor said:"Hi, I'm Frank! I take Movantik for OIC. Opiod-induced...constipation. I had a bad back injury. My doctor prescribed opioids, which helped with the chronic pain, but it backed me up. Big time. We tried prunes, laxatives. Still constipated. I had to talk to my doctor. She said, 'How long you been holding this in?' (hearty chuckle) That was my Movantik moment."You gotta google this fucking shit. It's hilarious. The script doesn't do it justice, this actor needs a Daytime Emmy. Also, how come we can't smoke weed when this guy is allowed to pop so many
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Mar 02, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

From the city where the skinny carry strong heat
Osman

norf side long beach NORF SIDE LONG BEACHYou're goddamn right we running from the police lady, they're allowed to murder people without consequence! What other choice do we have?? You think ducks are just waiting for hunters to shoot them in the beak? Fuck no, they literally FLY AWAY!Things we learned at quiz: 1. USSR ≠ Russia2. P-P-P-PACK IT UP3. This stool is bananas b-a-n-a-n-a-s THIS STOOL IS BANANAS B-A-N-A-N-A-S4. How can she slap?5. Please stop making me read things in French.Ultimately, Purple Monkey Dishwasher took first place while Last
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Feb 23, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

These people better watch out or they're gonna get ripped up
Osman

I am a goddamn garbage disposal. Bring me your trash. I want all of your trash. I tear it to pieces. You know why? Cuz it's garbage. And it needs to know it's place on the totem pole. Which is below me, the garbage disposal.There's a really good Katt Williams joke where he's eating dinner with DMX and DMX is like "EY YO LET ME GET SOME WATER WITH SOME LEMON ARF ARF" and Katt Williams is like "why are you hollerin, we in a restaurant..." That's kind of what my night was like.Which reminds me, don't forget to google "Reading Rainbow DMX". I'll wait.I know, right??? Hilarious.Things we learned at quiz:1. Ja Rule
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Feb 16, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

I'm glad Harambe is dead
Osman

Here's the thing I really don't get. I legitimately heard people argue, completely straight-faced, that they should have shot the parents. I mean what the hell is that? You ask any zookeeper in this country what to do in that situation and they'll all tell you the same thing: the number one priority is to make sure that child is removed from danger as safely as possible. And absolutely under no circumstances do you execute the parents.So yea, fuck Harambe. Pull your dick out for Syrian refugees or something.Things we learned at quiz:1. People are really bad at following instructions.2. People are really bad at spelling.3. People like to go to
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Feb 09, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Does anyone even like frat boys?
Osman

They are the worst. Especially these losers who showed up at quiz last night. Guy got really upset cuz I pointed out his A&M shirt and said I wasn't surprised that he was a fucking idiot. He didn't like that. And then his friend babyballs in the green shirt tried to be all tough and threatening. Lemme tell you something green shirt: if you ever look at me again, I'll string you up by your babyballs and slap you in the face with money.This A&M guy was the classic douchebag who hurls through existence like the tasmanian devil and how dare anyone say there's something he can't do. I really love it when dudes say they didn't do anything but they do
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Feb 02, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Judging By The Amount of Fireball Y’all Were Drinkin’, You Know A Thing or Two About Consuming…
CLAY-TON, The Impostor

PISS!!!!   In spite of it all, it was a nice homecoming. In case you didn’t know, way back in the days of 2015 I was your Scorekeeper here at the Maple Leaf. Prior to that, this was the place I had my audition for Geeks Who Drink. Yes, right here in the legendary faux-penalty box I read my first round and everything after that is infamy.   Despite the fact one of my current Geeks gigs has me working a few blocks away on another night, this was my first time ‘round these parts since I helped Osman & Callina out with the “30 Rock” quiz last summer. I like what’s been done with the place! The new side room is exquisite.
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Jan 26, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

You know what the best thing about Trump being President is?
Osman

People will probably lay off Hoover for a little bit.For real though, eventually this man will die, and he's going to have to come to terms with the fact that he will be, without a doubt, the biggest loser to be President. Straight up garbage. Until Mecha-Hitler's ghost returns in 3124. Future right-wingers will be all over that. They'll be like "He's just saying what we're all thinking!!" No, no, that's not what rational people think. -Things we learned at quiz:1. Punching Nazis in the face is the true national pastime.2. Nowadays everybody wanna act like they got something to say but nothing comes out when they move their lips, just a bunch
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Jan 19, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

I look good
Osman

That's what my friend Sharif just said to me. He looks like a dumbass, though.GOT EMMMMM!Things we learned at quiz:1. Most people can't spell.2. Frank Sinatra could not have played Taft's inauguration because Frank Sinatra was born 8 years after that date. Also, that's not Frank Sinatra.3. Frank Sinatra? More like Drank Sinatra, amirite!4. They were all called Caesar.5. How can you forget about Ashanti?? COME ON MAN!What if Ja Rule was a tiny dog this whole time?Also, just cuz you're watching tons of porn, doesn't mean everybody else is. But also, yea, they probably are.
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Jan 12, 2017
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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I need the Heimlich
Osman

Dawg I'm rewatching LOST. LOST is the shit. I feel like it gets a bad rap but it totally revolutionized the way we watch TV and the sort of production value we find on modern shows. There is no Game of Thrones without LOST because the budget wouldn't have been approved. If you've never watched it, do it. It's doper than people think. Plus Kate is hot af. Things we learned at quiz:1. Fuck Harambe.2. Fuck Trump, too. Can we just stop talking about him?3. Apparently, I cannot pronounce "troposphere" or archipelago. But it's kinda like whatever, you know? I got more important things to do. Like rewatch LOST. 4. Yea, he's called Puff
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Dec 29, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Larry needs a good chiding
Osman

For real, he is out of line. And don't get me started on Jackson!Quiz was insane last night. I guess we were the only quiz in Houston? And it was packed. You would think it would have also been competitive. HA GOT EM!Things we learned at quiz: 1. Americans are fat.2. Brazilians are corrupt.3. Russians are drunks. 4. Czechs are musical.5. Yankees fans are literal trash people. In unexpected fashion, She Might Be Dead But I'd Still Leia & Her Mom took first place. Still Waiting On Our Steaks (Steaks Were Great) won a tiebreaker with Cheese Wizzes by
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Dec 22, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Do you feel my shit yet?
Osman

Do you feel it in your heart, in your soul and your fishnets?CHYEAAAAAAAAAAMaybe it's just the seasons but everyone is beautiful right now. Well done, give yourselves a pat on the back.Things we learned at quiz:1. ScroogeDDDDDDDDDD2. Gears of War sucks.3. The Taliban have never had an action figure line.4. Loose Jack Gave Heather Gonorrhea.5. Robert Durst is living proof of white privilege. Dude is a straight serial killer and got an HBO miniseries.Shout out to our winners tonight, Feed Us Fetus Fajitas. Not only is their name disgusting, but they bought matching
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Dec 15, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

My Peanut Butter Chocolate Cake with Kool-Aid
Osman

Yo I gotta let yall know one thing. Ya boi Osman holds it down wuzgoooooooodThings we learned at quiz: 1. This new Gambino album is dope. 2. It's impossible to be cool while simultaneously saying, "By golly!"3. So why, oh, why, oh? Why, oh, why, oh, why, oh? Are we still in denial when we know we're not happy here?4. Some people think the apocalypse has already started because one of the signs of the apocalypse from the Bible is that wormwood will fall from the sky. And the Russian word for wormwood is "Chernobyl". I honestly don't know if that's true.5. Mexico doesn't get the credit it deserves. You
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Dec 08, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Hey have you heard about my best frands?
Osman

My frands came to quiz last night. I'm going to talk about my fraaaaands.That's Herrerbear. He's a cybernerd. He'll cyber with you anytime you want. And you'll like it.Then, there's Ms. Fairy Smile. She's got hair like a great, big ball of yarn. She would make the ideal protagonist in a children's book. Next up, we got Jackie Boy. This guy's a stud! He's got great handles, a strong work ethic, and unmatched basketball IQ. His main weakness is off-the-court distractions. If he puts his nose to the grindstone, keeps grinding, keeps chopping, then this kid's going places in this league.Lori's in the back, she's just photobombing.
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Dec 01, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Is there anything harder than reheating french fries?
Osman

Yea, my dick. WuzgoooooooodIt's my mom's birthday. I'm about to meet up with my parents in a few to eat some dope ass foods. They're really the best. And the worst. But I guess that just speaks to the inconsistency of human beings. Dank.I totally forgot to mention this last night, but Gonzo karaoke is going on tonight at the Maple Leaf. If you're reading this, go to that shit.Things we learned at quiz:1. There is no U.S. Agency called "Border Control", but it might get renamed that.2. You don't know Bo, ya bish.3. OK! OK! I see what's going on. Everyone's a CROOKED COP!4. It's always a weird thing when
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