• Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Sep 22, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

You're a racist
Osman

I don't wanna be preachy right off the bat. It's just been on my mind a lot. Like, please? Just stop being so goddamn racist. I'm not even talking about cops or Kaepernick or whatever. Those are iceberg tips. I'm talking about mass incarceration, imbalances in the justice system, housing discrimination, lending discrimination, systemic poverty, I could go on and on. We don't need a wall. Shit, smash the borders. Everything will be just fine. Just stop being so racist dammit. And now it's awkward. Goddammit. Here's what we learned at quiz.1. I never read LOTR so I don't know who Tom Bombadil is but he's not in the movie and people think that's funny I guess. 2.
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Sep 15, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

How fast can I blog? Pt. 2
Osman

If any of you read my Luke's Icehouse blog (don't know why you would), you'd know that I masterfully crushed my blog within mere minutes. This time, though, I'm definitely pissing in the wind. I gotta board a plane to Washington D.C. in like 45 seconds. So this one is gonna have to be fucking breezy. What will I do? Will I rehash my Frederick Douglas joke from the Luke's blog? I fucking should. That was an amazing joke. Seriously, how am I going to top that in such little time? Bottom line: I won't. I'm already taking too long. For real, though, I gotta fucking go. Brunch Club won again. Assholes. Second place was Is
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Sep 08, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

LOOKS LIKE MEAT'S BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!
Osman

That's right, fresh meat. I'm talking about newly-hired, future quizmaster Danny "Bonaduce". I don't think he realizes what he's getting himself into. It's gonna be a bloodbath. Seriously, bruh. Better bring a buttplug. Things we learned at quiz: 1. Danny's fucked. 2. Pennsylvania is cool I guess. But Philadelphia is literal garbage. I think it was Bill Burr who pointed out that Joe Frazier is from there and yet, they built a statue to Rocky. One of the greatest boxers of all-time and they worship a 5-foot Italian with a speech impediment. 3. Apparently we're including dogs as lead actors now. Like Air Bud. 4. Jeffrey Dahmer was truly
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Sep 01, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Smokin Good, Rollin Solo
Osman

I had to act right in the Windy City that nightNo trees to blow throughBut blow me and I'll owe you2 grams when the sunriseSmokin good, rollin SOLODamn this Frank Ocean album is amazing. One a side note (as if that was relevant or something), I started watching Master of None today. I gotta say, it's like this show was written specifically for me by a guy that took my whole schtick and ran with it. Really shows what I could've been if I was funnier and had a good work ethic. Things we learned at quiz:  1. People have a uniquely dismissive response when you talk about Sweden. 2. Nobody knows who
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Aug 25, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

These bitches want NIKEEEEEEEEEES
Osman

They looking for a check Tell em that aint like meeeeeeeeeeeeee She says she need a ring like Carmeloooooooooo Must be on that white like Othellooooooooooo ALL YOU WANT IS NIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES   I hope like listening to this shit cuz it'll be on repeat for the next 25-30 quizzes Things we learned at quiz: 1. Paul Ryan was voted "biggest brown-noser" in high school. No surprise he went far in politics  2. Paul Ryan drove the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile in Minnesota because he's a huge weiner and also feels the need to overcompensate. 3. Paul Ryan doesn't give
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Aug 18, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Ross Sucks
Osman

GOT EMMMMM I gotta say, my quiz at the Maple Leaf has gotten really difficult. Not because I'm having any issues or because of some jerk, but because they opened a restaurant and everything smells incredible. It's super distracting when I'm trying to read questions about fake tinder profiles and all I can think about is this damn grilled cheese with avocado. Honestly, it's slowing me down right now. Things we learned at quiz: 1. You don't know how to spell "Pharaoh". 2. Or how to misspell "Inglourious". 3. Atticus Finch is a fraud. 4. A gathering of Truman, Stalin, and Churchill would either be really, really fun or really, really lame.
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Aug 11, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Gentlemen, I've just realized, I've forgotten to take a shit, so see you back at the old homestead
Osman

"Erlich Bachman? This is your mom and you are not my baby." Things we learned at quiz: 1. Some guy named Itzhak Shum was a person that existed. 2. "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia is a cover of a song by Ednaswap. I had no fucking clue and now I have this information that I have to carry around for the rest of my mortal life. 3. Nymphadora Tonks IS the best character in the Harry Potter universe. Period. 4. Indianapolis has a nickname. 5. Mauritius rhymes with malicious. In the end, The Brunch Club came through and dominated to grab 1st place for a second straight week. Redneck
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Aug 04, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

LEAVE ME ALONE MOM!
Osman

She's like deconstructing my life right. It's so obnoxious. I'm just trying to smoke weeds and meet ladies, get off my case! Things we learned at quiz: 1. There was this old guy who brought his kids to the quiz. Kinda messed with my vibe. Also, I think he's brainwashing his grandkids. I hate people. 2. Pinche madridistas. They're a bunch of fascist pricks. 3. I'm boss to all employees - and I'm here to teach the principle cuz I've been saved by more bells than Lark Vorhees. 4. La vida es un carnaval. 5. Sam's kind of a dick. The Burt Club put up a strong showing and were able to crush the quiz for
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Jul 28, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

If Young Metro don't trust you...
Osman

...you're probably some sort of liar. It was an absolute stampede last night. Fortunately, I'm a magician and only went 30 minutes over! (Sorry Alesha) Things we learned at quiz: 1. I have a terrible Yosemite Sam impression. Not because I can't do it but because I'm too cool to try. 2. This guy yelled at me because he thought a Duran Duran song was by INXS. Didn't matter that a bunch of other teams knew it was Duran Duran. Didn't matter that he was wrong. He still yelled at me. Here's something he didn't know though: I DON'T CARE! 3. I don't watch Game of Thrones. This makes people unhappy. 4. You're goddamn right Jim and Pam ended up together.
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Friday, Jul 22, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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That's Right I'm In It
Osman

I'm getting really tired of these bigots, yo. This Trump guy is pandering to the dumbest segment of voters and it seems like these white supremacists find some kind of validation from it. Well I got a message for you big boys: suck my brown, government-assistance having dick. I love welfare. I FUCKING LOVE IT MAN! Things we learned at quiz: 1. Anthony Bourdain gets really, really high. 2. A lot of people think that Bob Dylan has a song called "Work", which would make sense but it's also funny to think of him singing "work, work, work, work, work, work, he said me haffi work, work, work, work, work, work" 3. Tiger Woods might be a sleazebag, but what about
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Jul 14, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Back up in your ass with the resurrection
Osman

I'm babysitting my nieces. They are the shit. First I whooped their asses as Candyland and they didn't even get upset. Then we watched Mother Goose Club (which sucks). I suggested Magic School Bus but I was overruled. Then we agreed to watch the Office. Yea that's right. Cuz my nieces are the shit. The 5-year-old wanted to watch Benihana Christmas and the 3-year-old wanted to watch the one where Michael drives his car into a lake. So we're compromising and watching both :) Things we learned at quiz: 1. Fuck the KKK. Fuck em all day long. Hate speech is not free speech. 2. Fuck CR7 too. I can't believe France lost that shit. Absolute disaster. 3.
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Jul 07, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Gold Jacket, Green Jacket, who gives a shit?
Osman

I don't want to go into some big political thing on a blog for pub quizzes but for Christ's sake, will everybody just stop shooting people for like a few days at least? Thanks. I'm watching an Ali G episode right now. He just pitched his idea for ice cream gloves to Donald Trump. When the ice cream drips, it gets on the glove instead of your hands, so your hands are warm and mess-free. Trump wasn't having it. All I ever want to watch is Ali G wasting Donald Trump's time. Things we learned at quiz: 1. Eating a 144 eggs wouldn't just be gross but would probably kill you. 2. I just learned about the alternate definition for "quarry". And now I'm seeing it
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Jun 30, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

It's after 6. What am I, a farmer?
Osman

30 Rock theme quiz at the Maple Leaf last night. 24 teams came through and really brought the energy. Several Frank hats were peppered throughout the crowd. I even spotted a"TGS with Tracy Jordan" hoodie. Plus, Matt turned 30. At the 30 Rock quiz! Happy birthday, homie. First place took home $225 cash money, winner take all. I did bring a consolation prize for second place though. It was a trucker hat that said "Hot Mess" on it. I got it from a bacherlorette party. Don't ask me how. I gotta say, I like 30 Rock. I've seen the show a few times. But yall are insane. How the hell would you remember what year Kenneth was born in> Or that Frank was wearing
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Jun 23, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

He held it too long and died from a burst bladder
Osman

That's gotta be top 5 worst ways to go. Quick plug: WE ARE HOLDING A 30 ROCK THEME QUIZ HERE AT THE MAPLE LEAF NEXT WEEK ON THURSDAY 6/30, PLEASE REGISTER ONLINE. Alright, cool. Yoooooooooooooo Cavs won. Gotdamn Lebron. It's like the first time having a small dick was an advantage since Sparta. You did it man. Things we learned at quiz: 1. The Browns are garbage. 2. LBJ had the most poorly named dogs all time. Beagles named Him and Her. That's lame as shit. 3. Puck you. 4. There's at least one person in the world who knows who Tycho Brahe is. 5. Ben and Jerry's is like three years too late to release a Linsanity ice cream.
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Jun 16, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
Quiz Venue Logo

Damn Osman
Osman

Back at it with the Maple Leaf quiz. It had been quite awhile since I hosted at Maple Leaf. The Stanley Cup has yet again been hoisted by the Penguins and fans have retreated to their dwellings in order to plan during the offseason, hoping that this season will be the year they can shit talk until the end. Quiz, as usual, was euphoric. There were two people on a Tinder date. I knew because their team name was (First) Tinder Date. They left just after Round 7. Presumably to fuck. Godspeed bro, we're all rooting for you. Also, true homie Ross came through. His team was One and a Half Jews, which kind of sounds like a sitcom
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  • Quiz Image
The Maple Leaf Pub
514 Elgin St
Houston, TX
77006
Thursday, Jun 02, 2016
[Thursdays @ 8:00 pm]
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Throwing Panties At The Prime Minister
CLAY-TON, The Impostor

Tonight we had a most unique R7. In this second audio round, we were supplied with a 2-minute clip of John Oliver on This Week Tonight! talking about the recent controversy in Canada known as Elbowgate, which concerns Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and something he did with his elbows that I have read about but don’t quite understand. I think it involves hockey, donuts, syrup, bacon, and the Grace Under Pressure album by Rush.   What I do understand is that a lot of people in America really really really like Mr. Trudeau. Take my friend John. John’s a funny guy, one of those rare people who is equally funny in both real life and on social media. Recently he’s
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