Geek Bowl 2008 Winners from left to right: Brian Zahn, Kyle Pepin, Jacki Reeves-Pepin, John Murray, Jen Buckley, Wes Colgan

photo by Christy L. Lee

 

A truly outstanding night. It’s almost safe to say that uniformed teams were in the majority. Nice to see the team spirit, creativity and an utter lack of humility.

  Random Crowd shot

 

Fort Collins, represent! Members of Team Frosties, Legion of Doom and assorted quizmasters

  The South Denver empire that is Love Fist

 

Recognize this team? You should cause they win at The Rover just about every single week. The well coiffed members, minus Kent, of Occam's Razor

 

  Straight outta Thornton it's the mighty Snook's Lounge crew. Play their quiz, we DARE you! Hey guys: Please give your quizmaster Drew no end of shit for missing Geek Bowl in order to attend a rodeo. I'm not making this up. Pfffffftttt...

 

 

 

Another astonishing part of the evening was the competition itself. Just like the current presidential races, there was no frontrunner. Occam’s Razor had an early lead, but by the end of round seven there were four teams tied for first. Most jokers were played on the music round – Stryker rules!!! — but some waited for later with little effect on the overall scores. I’d thought that The Betas would be strong, but - no offense guys – I wasn’t predicting a decisive win. And shit, our friends from Illegal Pete’s playing as Bigger Than Jesus and Better Than Ezra didn’t exactly come out of nowhere but I guess we never realized you were such a powerhouse. Respect oh holy ones!!! The team I’d predicted, Captain Tightpants of Albuquerque fame, had an off night. I didn’t mean to put pressure on you guys beforehand so I hope there’s no hard feelings. Everyone was totally psyched to see you and I think I speak for everyone in GWDland when I say we’re both impressed and flattered you drove all the way up here to play. I’d also remind you that 10th place hardly sucks on a quiz like this. Hopefully next year there will be more New Mexico teams trekking up with you. Please spread the good word on Geek Bowl. Plus, we need more folks to laugh at Eric and Kent’s jokes!!! Or just laugh at Eric and Kent period… hahahaha. Props as well to Pearl Street Grill regulars, the team whose name usually involves Assclowns and last night was no exception. Nice work AssClown Smackdown. Ultimately, of course, the teams that shined were our friends from McCabe’s Tavern in Colorado Springs. I know many of you are tempted to write this berg off as an epicenter of right wing Christianists, closeted homosexuality and cantankerous anti tax douche bags. But this city is not without its tight knit core of amazing nerds. Aaron Retka knows more than I do on this, but I believe the Springs has a considerably higher advance degree per capita ratio than Denver Metro or anywhere else in Colorado. Well, it showed on Saturday that’s for damn sure.

The man, the myth, the 6th best Air Guitarist in America, Stryker!!!

 

Of the cash winning teams, both have been playing pretty much since we started there at McCabe’s Tavern in May of 2006. Aaron Retka claims credit for their victory in the harsh realm of his verbal savaging. He beats their intellectual self worth each week and since it hardly kills them (cause, you know, the Fuckmaster hits like a girl) it makes them stronger. I’d also note that both of these teams were veterans of Geek Bowl 2007 so they were that much more battle hardened.

Anyone else observe the Karate Kid music playing at this decisive celebratory moment?

 

I’ll leave it to the 5th place team, also out of McCabe’s in Colorado Springs, to tell their side of the story should the choose to do so in the comments. That said; consider that they were a four-person squad. Not bad at all. As you can see from the scores, it was preposterously close at the top.

G Unit minus One - a team I will not expect a Christmas card from anytime soon, but another Springs-based powerhouse

I would like to thank all of our amazing volunteers and quizmasters, especially Kent and Eric for driving all the way up and enduring LoDo hookers and my dogs. Not to brag or objectify, but I would like to note that the majority of our volunteer staff in the front lobby were HOT LESBIANS. And they were very active so technically our lobby was a cauldron of Hot Lesbian Action. Yes!!!!!!! I would also like to thank the Denver Police Department for catching the punks who broke into my house about four hours before Geek Bowl got underway. I really hope my Chihuahuas bit your delinquent asses. Nice try on getting the TV off the wall. Oh, and you missed my wife’s laptop. It was in the one drawer you didn’t bother to open! Quite frankly, if you’re looking for cool electronics why you wasted so much time in the kitchen is beyond me. That said, if you took my deep fat fryer I would haunt your asses from the grave.

Here's Zatoichi of Irish Snug fame. Next year, grass stains...

    This Is Our Woodstock

 

Great Frisco Freakout of Irish Snug (and NPR/PBS) fame

 

It was a proud night for the entire organization. Joel Peach did an amazing job with the visual presentation and overall organization. In fact, he reached a point in which Microsoft PowerPoint flipped like a game of Defender and told him it had no more to teach him. Ever. Thanks as well to Tiffany Wong for coordinating the check in, the after party, the timing and lord knows what else. She even baked a cake. Vegan as always... For inquiring minds, our friend Rafael Vera who frequents The British Bulldog designed our amazing Geek statues.

Like Statler and Waldorf, only quieter

 

Our emcee Adam Cayton-Holland, who you may know from here, kicked much ass. If you want to see him and his mighty comedic crew we highly recommend checking out Los Comicos Super Hilariosos this Thursday at Orange Cat Studios: 2625 Larimer. It’s only $5.

If he wasn't in the dick joke game, he'd probably have a ki knee deep in the crack game - Adam Cayton-Holland

 

SCORES!!!

                                     Score Rank   Prize

The Betas	                       98     1st    $1000.00
Bigger Than Jesus and Better Than Ezra 97     2nd    $500.00
Assclown Smackdown	               95     3rd    $300.00
3 + 1 = 5		               94     4th    $105.00 
G Minus One (nee G-unit)	       93     5th
Once You Go Ba-rack You Never Go Back  93     5th
Ewok Reacharound	               92     7th
Occam's Razor	                       92     7th
The Poachers	                       91     9th
The Standard Deviants	               90     10th
Captain Tightpants	               89     11th
Dr. Nostrum (#43)	               89     11th
Delores & Mulva	                       88     13th
Funny They Don't Look Druish	       88     13th
Neighborhood Slut	               88     13th
Assistants to the Regional Manager     87     16th
Jelly Filled Munchkins	               87     16th
Legion of Doom	                       87     16th
Random Access Memory	               87     16th
This is Our Woodstock	               87     16th
Love Fist	                       86     21st
Team Donkey Punch	               86     21st
Stella Dori Breakfast Nootz	       83     23rd
That Wasn't Chicken	               83     23rd
Jesus & Tequila	                       82     25th
The Great Frisco Freakout	       82     25th
"Actung! Uberzeuge dich selbst!  
Es ist Der Sex Panzer auf San Diego!"  81     27th
Zatoichi	                       81     27th
#15 Bus	                               80     29th
Britney Spear's Life Coaches	       80     29th
Oh Don Piano	                       78     31st
Frosted Confessional Glorymolers       77     32nd
Mike Tyson's Donkey Punch-Out	       77     32nd
AA is for Quitters	               76     34th
The Idiot Kings	                       76     34th
I Didn't Pee In the Car, 
it was my Ham Juice	               74     36th
Bukkake Goggles	                       73     37th
Bacchus Laureates	               72     38th
Honey I Fucked the Kids	               72     38th
Only Good Strippers go to Heaven       72     38th
Tuna Fish Sangwich	               72     38th
Touched By An Uncle	               69     42nd***    
Snooks Lounge	                       67     43rd
Rusty and his Trombone	               60     44th
It's not About the Money Jason	       58     45th

*** 100 Chuck E. Cheese Tokens!

 

Proving once again that vegan baked goods don't have to taste like sweetened matzo from 1951, it's our very own Tiffany Wong

Denver's premier DJ Shannon with GWD's premier heckling quizmaster Jason Mueller. This is what the kids call "kickin it old school" or so I'm told.