Seriously. Unglued, I say, and I’m not kidding. Just prior to the start of Quiz, I couldn’t shake the feeling of having something on the bottom of my shoe. I looked for paper towels, napkins, toilet paper stuck on there…and found nothin’. It wasn’t until some time later that I discovered that not one, but both, of my shoes’ soles were detaching themselves from the rest of black lace pumps. How utterly bizarre.

Luckily, the rest of the Quiz stayed relatively intact. The smaller-than-usual crowd tonight was to be expected, what with the first of the local colleges’ graduation ceremonies having just finished last weekend. Thank goodness for our devoted (addicted??) core teams. Thanks for coming out and making it fun for us to do what we do.

Kudos to all who soldiered through the first couple rounds until the bar cleared out a bit. It’s true, Captain Planet, that you are not the only ones who ‘hate loud people.’ But remember, this it could be – and has been – worse. Last week, for example.

Ack. My blood pressure wants to go up, but I’m thinking better of it. What would Tony say? He’d say “Relax.” (See last week's photos.) Ahhh. Serenity now.

Favorite answer of the night: Again, Captain Planet: Round 4 (the small penis round)…answer was “dog whistle”, but CP suggested “weenie whistle.” I’m gonna have to research this, ‘cause I don’t even know what that means!! At the same time, Quizmaster Tom like Cap’t Planet's suggestion that “Needle Point” (rather than “Sharpie”) would describe the autograph-friendly permanent marker.  Rich.

Props to No Love Stains! for their praise for QM Tom, whom they asserted was “killing the audio tonight.” That could have been meant in a number of ways, but we’ll take it as the best kind of killing possible. Tom does put a lot of thought into each set list and he deserves some recognition. Nice work, Partner!

Also…some love to our tag-team bartending team of Amanda and Kyle. Thanks, kids!

I haven’t much else to add this week…you saw the pictures already, no doubt, and the scores as well – congrats to No Love Stains! and Sparkle Motion for taking the top two slots, by the way. Oh, yeah...I almost forgot. Once again, we did have some concern about cell phone use during the quiz. Even after laying out the Quiz rules more than once the blatant rule-breaking persisted. So, sadly, for the second time this season we have had to issue a DQ. And that disqualification goes to….Pie-urea. Sorry, y’all. But here’s the deal: If you really need to use your phone, just take it outside. It helps your team to concentrate and helps the rest of the Quiz participants know that you are not cheating.  Win-win. Which is, in turn, a win for the Quizmasters, and we thank you for that.

Finally, although by rights this next bit should be in the Suggest A Round section of GeeksWhoDrink.com, I’m going to include the “Better Actors for a Category Than Ellen Page” suggestion list by No Love Stains! Included were: William Shatner, Drew Barrymore, Gary Busey, Fran Dresher, Rosie O’Donnell, Harland Williams, Luiz Guzman, and Quizmaster Tom. What a list!

We'll be back at it next week - and each Wednesday in May. Same time and place. You know the drill. See you Wednesday evening at the Cactus Grill & Cantina!

 There's no getting around it, we had one team tonight. Yup. With the nice weather, the ex-Sonics in the playoffs, big events on the calendar, it was bound to be a slow night. That said, it was a damn fun night! Our one team split into two and played for both prizes. The team usually goes by the name THEM! so tonight the split off team went by US! Thus began the epic journey of US vs. THEM. They ended the quiz all tied up at 68. We went to a tie breaking round. Tied up after that. Went to the next tie breaking round and by one point, US is our winner tonight! Congrats and way to swing both prizes, you crafty pencil dicks, you. ;)

So, what did we learn tonight? Crown Royal was made for royalty. I cried a bit when I had to play Nickelback. Adam Savage uses his powers for good. People don't often read their pencils. We now know what a camel butt looks like. Google is a fan of Starfox. Kepler was a total copycat.

The Boy Wonder, Mr. Holland Hume will be subbing in for me next week while I cheer on my Sounders so treat him right. He's awesome and gives no fucks. Chat him up about the Terminator movies and he'll love you forever. So until next time, see you!

Sorry if the sports analogy confuses some people, but going yard is an expression used in baseball for hitting a homerun.  The Yardbirds were the ones who knocked it out of the park by winning in comeback fashion.  While most of the teams used their jokers on the first audio round, The Yardbirds held back until the final round and used it for a 1 point victory.  The deciding factor was our round Ghostbusters or Mythbusters.  They either got lucky as fuck, or just know the difference between Egon Spengler and Adam Savage. 

Our second place finisher was one of my personal favorite teams, Snatches and Jerks.  Not only do they have a Cardinals fan in the group, but one of the girls actually knows a mutual friend of mine.  It shows I don't play favorites though. However, a bit concerned about how well they did at identifying animals and knowing objects girls use to describe a small penis.

Fuck Mountain was down to 2 members tonight and formed The Fuckiteers who were a very close 3rd place. I'm sure once they get the band back together though they will be winners once again.

Generally at Scotland Yard the team with the best name wins, but tonight was an exception.  Justice Beaver and the Caeserian's were my choice of the night, and the even were in the lead in a great portion of the night.  Unfortunately they were not victorious, but considering it was their first time I think they did well.  Hopefully we see them next week with a little experience under the belt.

Behind them was the runner up for best team name, Would you like me to butter your muffin?  Dirty talk always gets my attention.

I was a bit consumed with work tonight and didn't get a chance to figure out which team was which, but I was glad I made amends with one of the team members.  Apparently she had purposely been a bitch to me  a few weeks back, but said she felt bad about it.  I didn't quite remember it, but with all the girls that treat me like shit it starts getting confusing.  Throw in the fact I generally am drunk most days of the week, it really doesn't help.

Like I said, I'm not as much geek as I am drunk.  If you pride yourself on being a geek then put your brain to the test.  If you like getting drunk, stop by Scotland Yard next week at 8 and I'm sure you'll have a great time.

See everybody next week!

I received the pleasant news at tonight’s Lion and Rose Park North quiz that a majority of the teams are actually reading these quiz recaps, aside from my friends.  So that’s pretty great.  Hi there everyone from tonight’s quiz. How about all that wacky shit that happened tonight? I know, right?! That time when that guy yelled out that one thing? That was really funny, wasn’t it?

Oh, you don’t know what I’m talking about? I guess you had to be there.

Anyway, another neck-and-neck quiz tonight, as twelve teams competed over obvious answers, Ellen Page films, small penis euphemisms, and a Mythbuster versus a Ghostbuster.

Round One on “Duh!” questions featured enthusiastic yells of “Duh!” from Amazeballs after almost every question, much to everyone’s chagrin.  For some mysterious reason, all the guys in room got very quiet when I announced that the theme for Round Four was “Things Girls Compare Your Small Penis To”.

Odd. 

However, we all agreed that no woman has ever referred to an un-well hung dude a “5 hour energy shot bottle”.

While this group of quiz-takers may not have known their Ellen Page movies, they damn sure know the differences between Mythbuster, Adam Savage and Ghostbuster, Egon Spengler. So, if it is ever plausible that the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man shows up in San Antonio, they’ll show him how we do things downtown.

James’ Funniest Team Name Award: With Your Looks Maybe Bitchy Isn't The Way To Go (runner ups: Bruce Banner's Angry Erection and Mitt Romney’s Hair Club for Folically Ostentatious Boys)

James’ Funniest Answer Award goes to Brandon & The Mothers of Dragons for their answers to Round Seven Questions 1, 5, and 8. Round seven was an audio round on Ellen Page movies. Question 1: Inception (correct answer: Inception). Question 5: Inception 2: The Inceptioning (correct answer: Smart People). Question 8: Inception 3: The Final Inception (correct answer: Peacock) 

I love it when you guys cram JAX patio full of gorgeous people who laugh at my jokes. We need to keep doing that. I wish there were a way to get me out on the patio to host just so I could feel a little bit closer to the action... such as it is. But yeah, for now, come give Brandi a smile and your order at the bar. 

I had fun with you guys tonight! The Duh round was a little mean, but you guys kicked the audio round's ass. It was apparently somewhat difficult to tell Egon Spengler from Adam Savage... except for one being ginger and one being fictional. That's fine though, I suppose. 

Remember, kids: Facebook and Spotify. See you next week!

-Your friendly neighborhood quizmaster,

Joshuay

New Quizmaster Dave here, taking over for the lovely Shannon. We will miss her and her banter. On to the recap!

First round was the "Duh!" round and there was a few duh moments. Props go out to Vagina Dentata for being the only team to know Tina Fey's real name. Round 2 was "Know You're Place" and most teams did really well. Smarty Pints was the only team during round 3 to follow instructions and name either Egon Spengler or Adam Savage, not Mythbuster or Ghostbuster, but I still took it anyways. 

Round 4 had teams comparing penises to phallic objects and Alexis, having a perfect score, must of had some experience. I would also like to thank 2 Dicks and 1 Chick for booing me when I mispronounced Ticonderoga, I would like to see you pronounce it right. Smarty Pints was the only team to get all of the animal butts correct, I wonder what that says about them.

The scores were pretty close this week with only a 2 point differential. The runner ups were Vagina Dentata and the top team of the night was the Smarty Pints. I hope to see you all next week for some more heckling and duh moments.

Many of you have quite a few sandwiches to try before you can conquer the sandwich wall but that's neither here nor there at the moment. Thanks so much for joining us for your Hump Evening at Gourmands.

We had rounds tonight that included Duh!, Know Your Place, and Ghostbusters or Mythbusters? Only one team tonight got a goose-egg on Round Three.  I almost wanted to give them a perfect 8 for that.

Round Four was all about nicknames for little penises and the lowest score was a 6, with most teams scoring at least 7 (and quite a few perfect scores). Clearly we've all seen a small penis in our lives. For those of you who have only ever seen one penis, well, we know to whom that belongs, don't we?

Round Five was animal asses. No one did particularly well on that round but Round Six was about Locks, Stocks, and Barrels and some of you did quite well.

Round Seven  was about Ellen Page and, as Barrett so rightly asked: "Who the fuck is Ellen Page?" Well, Barrett, come on over to my place some night and bring some wine coolers. I'll show you how to "Juno."

Ultimately, we skirted a dance-off tonight -- sad times indeed -- by one point each in the top three teams' rankings. Well, we can always hope that next week will deliver, right?

Until then, get your sandwich on and like us on Facebook!

Tonight’s quiz was a lot of fun. I never have to rush at Aqua Lounge, which is a nice change of pace for me after my quick-paced Monday night quiz at the Bulldog. But tonight we took extra care, did it nice and slow, and made it last. It was like tantric quiz. It now occurs to me that I missed a perfect opportunity to play some Barry White. Damn!

Regardless, I always have fun quizzing with you guys, and nights like tonight, where I get to ramble a bit and have more back-and-forth with you guys, are a lot of fun. I’ve said it many times and I’ll say it again: I’ve QMed at a lot of venues (20+), and the British Bulldog and Aqua Lounge are my favorites, hands down. I’m not a bar guy, so it takes a special kinda place for me to feel at home, and I’m supremely lucky to have two quizzes a week in what I consider to be the best bars in town. As exciting as my impending move is, it truly bums me out that I have to give up these quizzes. Alas, the commute from Oregon to Denver is a bitch.

Oh, and remember how I told you I wrote a short story about a guy named Dick Yangherkin? Well, I lied. His name was Woody, not Dick. Check it out here if you’re bored.

And don’t forget: my mom just might be at next week’s quiz! Not sure how that’ll go, but it should be interesting.

Track List:

Tom Petty – American Girl

Beyonce – Baby Boy

The Warblers (from Glee) – Raise Your Glass

The Clash – Police & Thieves

Bob Marley – Buffalo Soldier

The Dan Band – Flashdance…What a Feeling/Fame

George Michael – Faith

Matt & Kim – Good Ol’ Fashion Nightmare

The Troggs – Wild Thing

Mariah Carey – Honey (Remix)

Nancy Sinatra – These Boots Are Made For Walkin’

The Monkees – Daydream Believer

Michael Jackson – P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)

Michael Jackson – Burn This Disco Out

Mary Wells – My Guy

Morris Day & The Time – Jungle Love

The Misfits - Skulls

The Rundown

Round 1: Duh!

High Score: 5 (achieved by Homo House-Hunting Horrors Hasten Homicides, Quiz Team Aguilera, and The dangle of…) 

Average Score: 5/8

Low Score: 5

Round 2: Know Your Place (Audio Round)

High Score: 16 + joker (achieved by Homo House-Hunting Horrors Hasten Homicides)

Average Score: 15/16

Low Score: 14

Round 3: Mythbusters or Ghostbusters

High Score: 7 (achieved by Quiz Team Aguilera, and The dangle of…)

Average Score: 5.67/8

Low Score: 3

Round 4: Things Girls Compare Your Small Penis To

High Score: 8 (achieved by Homo House-Hunting Horrors Hasten Homicides and The dangle of…)

Average Score: 7.67/8

Low Score: 7

Round 5: She Likes It From Behind (Visual Round)

High Score: 7 (achieved by Homo House-Hunting Horrors Hasten Homicides)

Average Score: 6/8

Low Score: 5

Round 6: Locks, Stocks, & Barrels

High Score: 7 (achieved by Quiz Team Aguilera and The dangle of…)

Average Score: 6.33/8

Low Score: 5

Round 7: Paging Ellen Page (Audio Round)

High Score: 6 (achieved by Quiz Team Aguilera)

Average Score: 4/8

Low Score: 2

Round 8: Random Knowledge

High Score: 10 (achieved by Homo House-Hunting Horrors Hasten Homicides and Quiz Team Aguilera)

Average Score: 9/16

Low Score: 7

This week’s E-mail Bonus Question winner was Danny, who got Anime Eye Glasses! Super happy funtime OK!

3^rd Place: The dangle of…

2^nd Place: Homo House-Hunting Horrors Hasten Homicides

1^st Place: Quiz Team Aguilera

It was a fun time at the Lion and Rose Forum tonight, with a great crop of twelve teams all vying for free booze and bragging rights! We jumped out of a gate with a easy-but-deceptive Round 1, called simply "Duh!" Everyone was tripped up by Tina Fey's real first name. No, this wasn't a "Grant's Tomb" question - it's actually Elizabeth (or Liz, if you prefer).

Almost everyone slayed Round 2, on musical clips featuring places. But it turns out y'all are a little shaky on whether Egon Spengler (of Ghostbusters) or Adam Savage (of Mythbusters) is a licensed coroner (it's Egon - I know, you just want it to be real life!).

Round 4 on "Things Girls Compare Your Small Penis To" was a high-scoring round for all, with three teams landing a perfect 8. Congrats to all-girl Beer Make Smart, almost all-girl Beauties and a Beast, and no-girl solo player Michael on knowing your gherkins from your baby carrots.

Reaching around thematically for Round 5, your knowledge of animal asses was pretty hit and miss. Ditto for Locks, Stocks and Barrels in Round 6, although I have to admit that The Nightmare Before Christmas would have been pretty awesome with Leonard Nimoy as part of the voice cast instead of Paul Reubens. Right? Right??

After fair-to-middlin' rounds 7 and 8 (all those Ellen Page clips sound the same to me, too!), we ended up with a three-way tie for 5th place which I urged Beer Make Smart, 5th Place Winners and Venture to settle in the parking lot.

We also had a more exciting tie for 2nd between Beauties and the Beast, The Power Gloves and Just Here For The Beer that went to a round of Urban Dictionary Roulette to settle the score. Just Here For The Beer ended up living up to their name after getting pushed out of the money. Sorry, guys! The Power Gloves ended up in 3rd and the beast from Beauties and the Beast bringing his ladies into 2nd by convincingly defining "moist gherkin" as "a shamefully limp post-coital penis." Well done, sir!

In the end, Nos Venit, Nos Bibit, Nos Vicit took the top spot by just two points. In fact, there were only 10 points between 1st place and 8th place. Quite a night, and I'm not just jerkin' your gherkin! Props also to my lovely guest assistant Paulina! See you all next week, and don't forget to show some love (or at least some like) to the Facebook page for our quiz!

After I got off the bus on my way home from work today I noticed that there was a Geeks Who Drink ad on the side of the bus.  For some reason I found this significant.  It may be because advertisements are such an important part of our culture (a frightening thought).

One of the most acclaimed TV series currently running, Mad Men, centers around an ad agency.  Advertisements play a central role in one of the most important annual cultural events: the Super Bowl.  Think about that for a minute.  It's sad enough that a child's game played by millionaire genetic freaks is practically a national holiday.  (Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against the game, but can't we all take a step back and agree that many of us assign it a bit too much importance?)  On top of that, there are the commercials that run during the Super Bowl.  Not only do people willingly endure these commercials when they could change the channel for a few minutes, many people actually want to see the commercials.  Hell, there are people who openly declare that they only watch the game for the commercials, as if that's a good thing.

Maybe I'm just looking at it the wrong way.  Maybe the reality is that creative people have found a way to make advertisements legitimately entertaining and engaging.  At any rate, advertising is part of our lives, and can be seen as a badge of legitimacy for a company.  After all, you don't see the guy selling wolf rugs out of a conversion van at the gas station running ads on billboards and the like.

If I had a point, it's now lost.  I've officially lost track of my original premise, if I even had one to begin with.

Oooh, I just thought of something else I can rant about: reggae music.  Tonight's music round featured the musical stylings of none other than Bob Marley.  Bob Marley is the poster-boy for music being ruined by how much it's played and who it's played by.  Honestly, do any of us ever need to hear a Bob Marley song again?  And if you do need to hear a Bob Marley song, by all means go to the nearest frat house or Boulder.  Sorry, but when I hear reggae I don't think of the oppressed people of Jamaica expressing their revolutionary feelings.  No, I think of douchey guys with trust funds planning their next date rape.  Let's be clear on something, though: I'm not saying all people who listen to reggae are douchey or from Boulder, I'm just saying what reggae calls to mind.

A caveat: none of this rant applies to dancehall reggae.

I think that about wraps up this week's edition of "How to Write Blogs and Alienate People."  Please know that if you're reading this, I love you.