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The Auld Dubliner (Tucson)
800 East University Boulevard
Tucson, AZ 85719
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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9:39 AM, March 01, 2013
Scores
Ginja Ninjas 80
Whoa-Oh, Black Stallions, Bam-A-Lam 73
The Analrapists 73
Sans Pants Dance Party 73
Band-Aids Have Penises 71
Bringing Tits To A Knife Fight 69
Sherlock Homies 65
Our Couches Pull Out But We Don't 65
The Pen Is Mightier 60
Knob Slam 58
Shaving Private Ryan 57
Ye Olde Pube 56
B.J.'s Are Flowers For Men 56
Teenage Mutant Ninja Awesome 56
Thunder Sluts 55
Michael J. Fox Is Terrible At Jenga 54
Deviated Scrotum 41
The Green Stuff 34
Addicted To Cold Turkey 30
Plan B Is Plan A 0
Mmmm...cookies and beer...
Major Tom


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Thursday nights at the Canyon's Crown Restaurant and Pub, Tucson, AZ. Wednesday nights at the Auld Dubliner, Tucson, AZ. 		Tom (Major Tom)

My name is Tom.  I got into this gig by kicking everyone's ass at the Quiz at Club Congress on a weekly basis until they pretty much had to give me a job.  Now I do 2 clubs in Tucson, and you should be at both of them.  Besides doing this, I play in a ska-punk band called Troy's Bucket, and I have a job teaching 7th grade social studies.  I'm a huge metal and punk fan, but I also dig a lot of other stuff.  Halloween is my Christmas.  A lot of that has to do with my birthday, December 24th, being totally ignored thanks to Christmas.  I left the sinking ship that is Detroit, but I still love the Red Wings.  That's a hockey team.  Hockey is the greatest sport in the world.  I am single, so feel free to line up at the QM's table to meet me.  I drink Guinness, so feel free to send one my way.  I still won't give you any extra points. 

Well, snow in Tucson on Quiz night is a hard act to follow.  Without the extra entertainment of Mother Nature going batshit crazy, we were back to having to enjoy Quizzing and booze like in times of old.  That being said, I had a great time.  I had a Quizzer bake me cookies for Purim.  Then she explained just what the hell Purim is.  I grew up in Scottsdale, so I figured I was pretty well versed in the holidays of the Chosen People, but alas, I had no idea about that one.  Now I’m ready to convert.

We got the magic number of 20 teams again last night.  One of them got so drunk that they neglected to turn in their answer sheets, but I’m pretty sure it still counts.  Plan B Is Plan A are regulars, and I did get a team picture of them.  Besides, isn’t drinking a ton of booze exactly what the club wants from their customers?  Now, here’s the thing:  You guys have to bring the numbers for 2 more weeks.  Seriously.  Bring everyone you know.  Bring so many people that you have to split into 2 teams.  I don’t want to hear that there was a U of A basketball game or any of that.  We have got to get a scorekeeper up in here.  I worked my ass off last night to score as fast as I could, I took team pictures as fast as I could, and I moved pretty quickly through the Quiz itself.  I read the answers like an auctioneer.  We still ran over by at least a half hour.  Thanks to all of you guys for staying for the long haul.  I actually stayed until the wee hours of the morning, but that was because one of my awesome Quizzers keep me around and tried to get me liquored up.

So, what did we learn last night?

-          Charlie’s Angels had an awesome Halloween Special.

-          Martha Stewart and Babe Ruth have both been cover models on the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

-          Apple has a weekly newsletter called “Byte Me”.

-          Heated seats in trucks are widely considered vulgar and immoral.

-          Emeril is a nut company.  Bam!

-          Julia Sweeney from Saturday Night Live is an in-law of Sweeney Todd, the demon butcher of Fleet Street.

-          The Police not only recorded an album called “Synchronicity”, they were famous psychologists who originated the term.

-          I can't win.  I read the Quiz with a clue about Tyra Banks.  "Black".  One Quizzer said "It's African-American."  I said, "OK, African-American."  Another Quizzer said, "Not all blacks are from Africa, Tom."  Next time, I'll just say, "The answer to this next one is Tyra Banks."

OK, so that’s it for this week.  Remember, baking me cookies and buying me beers will not get you extra points on the Quiz, but it may earn you my undying love and respect.  Until next week, go waste a bunch of time at http://www.facebook.com/GeeksWhoDrinkPubQuizAtAuldDublinerTucson .  Tag your friends in the photos.  Tell them to get screwed when they tell you to stop tagging them drinking on work nights.  See you next week.  Cheers!