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138 W Gray St
Houston, TX 77019
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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1:30 PM, March 03, 2013
Popelessly Stuck On Topical Humor 100

Will Touched Where I Pee 76

Balls in the Pocket 41

Joey's Bitches 40

Les Miles Eats Grass 27



Quiz Schedule
Thursdays, 8pm, Hefley's
Will ()

At age 5, Will decided he wanted to be a scientist.

At age 29, Will became a scientist.

At age 30, Will realized he never wanted to be a scientist, he wanted to be in Starfleet.

At age 31, Will determined Starfleet was not an option.

Will is currently pursuing a career as a Time Lord.

. . . Nary a soul will miss our quiz. 

Last week Hefley's had 3 teams. This week we had 5. Lets do some math.

If we assume an arithmetic progression, a constant growth rate, and that a general trend can be reasonably extrapolated from two data points, then we will gain 2 teams every week. Thus, this time next year we will have over 100 teams. Not bad. 

If we assume a geometric progression, the number of teams will almost double (5/3 multiplier) every week. This time next year, we will have 1,030,994,230,062 teams, which is more teams than there are people on earth, and more than the likely number of people who have ever existed on earth. Seems unlikely, especially with that great Thursday night CBS line up.

Irregardlessly, I think we can shoot for 7 teams next week. In fact, whatever team comes in 7th place gets a prize, the Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Arithmetic Progress. It will probably be pint glass.


Last night saw a lot of new faces to Hefley's, including my old friend and fellow QM Jamey and my new friend and fellow QM Pete. Both acted like jerks, naming their teams Popelessly Stuck On Topical Humor and Will Touched Where I Pee. Jamey knows I hate puns and topical humor, and Pete's team name is ambiguous. Did I touch your toilet, or Pete Jr.?

Oh, speaking of gential humor, Les Miles Eats Grass showed up late. Please refer to the pictures.


Concerning Quiz itself, Joey's Bitches took best team name for successfully referring to an event from last week. Best team name next week will be the best lipogram.

Popelessly, being as a ethnically diverse as the Planeteers, took First by scoring ONE HUNDRED MILLION BILLION and TWENTY and TEN points. Or something. I dunno, they seemed excited. 


I have to go to work now. Remember, Hefley's has a great staff, free parking, full bar, kitchen open late, and the best view in Houston. Of me. See you next week.