800 Congress Ave
Austin, TX 78701
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So there I was, minding my business. Halfway through tonight’s round eight when a woman of questionable means (cough, cough! homeless!) sauntered from table to table asking if anyone had a light for her Camel Light. After approaching two teams, she came up to me and asked me for the same. Now before I go any further, there are a few things you should know about me. 1) I HATE smokers… perhaps more to the point, I hate that people choose to smoke. 2) I have no time in my life to tolerate idiots. Life’s just too short. Now as Grandma Moses come over to me I tell her I gots no light for her. Apparently she couldn’t hear me, seeing as my voice is all amplified and shit. I’m just assuming she summers in Bizarro World and that’s why she couldn’t hear me. Then I ask her (because the 90s are totally making a comeback), “how about a Bud Light?”
Now this must have been a trigger for her, cuz bitch saw red.
She reached over to my table, grabbed about 10 pencils from my cup ‘o pencils, and proceeded to hurl them at me as if I’d just said she was the ugly Golden Girl (P.S. totes was)! Her aim was true, but her spear throwing was no match for my tiger style, as I deftly maneuvered away from all lobbed objects. Huzzah for my athletic movement!
One final note on the matter… I just realized the celebrity equivalent of this lady. Ever watch Always Sunny? She looks just like Mac’s mom. Dead serious.
Oh, and welcome to the Hickory Street family, Natalie!
Remember, we move to 6:30pm start time beginning next Thursday, so we’ll see you then!