The Lion and Rose Pub (Broadway)
San Antonio, TX 78209
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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Ask any Quizmaster if they think Quizmasters are the superior life-form on this planet, and they will hands down say “yes.” Actually they'd be more apt to say, “Fuck yeah!” What makes a Quizmaster a superior life-form in my eyes? Well, I could expound on this and list any number of reasons why I hold this belief, but something that happened tonight gives me one such reason to share with you all. Here's the scenario: Shortly after quiz started tonight, the table next to us became occupied by a priest and several other people. The. Table. Right. Next. To. Us. This guy was wearing his collar and his full length cassock. He was in full blown “hey, look at me. I'm a priest” mode. Paulina remarked that she found it hilarious watching his companions tripping over their tongues in order to use language that would not offend the priest. Here's the difference between regular life forms and higher life-forms (Quizmasters). Lesser life-forms might be squeamish and uncomfortable with a priest in such close proximity. They might rein in any offensive language so as not to cause any discomfort to themselves or the priest. Now, a true quizmaster (motherfucker), and myself in particular would be lamenting the fact that the vulgarity quotient in tonight's quiz was a bit low tonight, and how might one slip some in without being gratuitious. Or perhaps wishing that tonight's round four was about sodomy and the priesthood instead of wabbits, wascally and uvvawise. Or how about a good old fashioned round on masturbation in general or dildos to be more specific? Some fellatio perhaps? This is the way a Quizmaster thinks. These were the thoughts that went through my head tonight. This is why we are superior life forms. This is why our egos are massive and our thirst for attention is off the charts. This is why if there is a hell (though I'm not one to believe in such things) Quizmasters will end up there. We'll be afforded the best accommodations possible, right there on the lake of fire. I'm not talking about beach front property either. When I say on the lake of fire I mean that we'd have palatial mansions that hover over the lake itself. We would depose the Devil in about 15 seconds and be running the joint. Every team that has ever called themselves Team Ramrod or My Couch Pulls Out But I Don't would be enslaved and tortured in every manner possible for all eternity. New methods of torture never before witnessed on Earth would be dreamed up each and every day to try out on these poor worthless souls. It would be marvelous. Quizmasters aren't #worsethanICP for nothing you know.
Oh yeah, there was a quiz tonight wasn't there.
We had a great time tonight with a really good turnout. Got to see some faces that have been missing from quiz over the past month or so, and that always puts a smile on my face.
Perhaps it's a sign that you watch too much television when you're handed round 5 and return it in less than two minutes asking if you can turn it in already. And score 7 out of 8. Put the clicker away and pick up a book.
If you are reading this Wednesday morning, you have only a few more hours before the Arrested Development Quiz. It's happening TONIGHT at the Firehouse Pub and Grill. $5 a head is the entry fee. No more that six players per team, and of course there's a winner take all prize pot that only gets larger the more people come out to play. One team tonight tells me whey watched over 30 episodes just on Saturday alone. They're ready! Are you? Come to the Firehouse tonight and find out!
See you guys next week.