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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
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12:45 AM, May 09, 2013
Scores
Hodor, Hodor 77
Sex Panther 75
Crack Suicide Squad 75
Elizabeth Smart's Chewed Gum 75
Crystal Math 74
Extruded Plastic Dingus 73
Clowns Syndrome 73
White Girls running towards Black Men 72
Matt & the Sister wives 71
Big Boobs 71
I'm a citizen of the United States, I have Rights. 70
Chemical Toilet 66
The Conquiztadors 66
Two Days ago I saw a rig that'll haul that tanker. You wanna get outta here, you talk to me. 65
Grundles 'n' Taints 63
Almost Not Quite As Better 59
Giant Ladywallets 58
Hi, My name is Chris & I'm a cockaholic. 58
Late Cummer 48
Reckless Swagger 47
The Dumbster Babies 44
I find your mannish hand disturbing 44
Help! Still kidnapped! Still in the basement! 38
LD50 29
Karen Carpenter jokes are apparently off limits to a crowd obsessed with kidnapping.
Christopher
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 		Christopher ()

Christopher is a long time lover of Justin Bieber. He was watching his YouTube videos way before you were. He got a a bird tattoo on his hip that is the exact same as Bieber's. If anyone can say they are a Belieber it's Christopher. He follows Bieber all over the country and makes his own Bieber music videos. He always has Bieber themed birthday parties. If you don't know what that is, you should ask Christopher.

Good evening, Piper Down!

I couldn't be more thrilled to be covering for the amazing Dr. Nick at the equally amazing Piper Down. Thank you all for having me this month. After tonight, I can tell this is going to be a fucking blast. Okay, okay, enough gushing from me. Let's talk about what makes Wednesday nights so fucking awesome.

Here come the HIGHLIGHTS:

- We all donned our most flattering male-chestified undergarments for round 1, and learned Meat Loaf was only one of the correct answers to the round. Not every question.

- In round two, we found Captain Planet's iPod holds Heart. The most useless band to match the world's most useless "power."

- Hey! Breaking news from Yahoo! news: "Guys, we're still failing miserably... or fantastically, depending on how you interpret it."

- This motherfucker of a quizmaster can pronounce the shit out of some foreign regions.

- Everyone did pretty great on the visual, which makes me cringe. Sorry to hear about all of your diarrhea.

- A round on wars begs a playlist of metal, not unlike a round on fat guys demands a playlist of dead rappers.

- Given the amount of kidnapping themed team names, your Texas Chainsaw Massacre knowledge came as no surprise.

- If you're going to have a question about sober schools in Utah, you're going to hear me play The Dead Kennedy's "Too Drunk to Fuck."

Hey, 60% of the time, Sex Panther takes 2nd place everytime. Tonight was a part of the other 40%. Three way tie for 2nd went to Elizabeth Smart's Chewed Gum with a tie-breaker question. 

So who walks home with 1st place? Hodor, Hodor! Congrats, kids!

See you all next week, you sexy bastards. 

Hugs & sloppy kisses,
-QM Chairman!

Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
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11:46 PM, May 05, 2013
Scores
Kris Has Krossed Over 76
Dick Bangdana 72
Dr. Scrotes 69
Dr. Nick Update: It's Actually Rehab 68
Thinko de Drunko 68
So What I Thought I'd Do Is Pretend I Was Deaf and Mute 61
Pleistocene Players 54
Jared's Hos 50
Fuck Me, We Need A Name 37
A-licious 10
The White God, the Eskimo, and their invisible friend Dan 7
Camille 6
Friends and one random guy 5
Piping Hot!
Gar


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Quiz Schedule
Gracie's-Tuesdays, The Tap Room-Wednesdays 		Ryan (Gar)

Gar is an idiot man-child who likes cats, video games and beer.

He's a huge fan of Jeopardy, going so far as to acquire Alex Trebek's former mustache, which causes him to look like Ron Swanson. Mustache got Delilah'd

Despite the occasional run-on sentence, Gar is a dedicated Grammar Nazi. He's also a giant stickler for rules, mainly because his anxious disposition precludes from him convincingly pulling off any untoward behavior of his own.

A social recluse by day, the prospect of booze-fueled battles of wits propels him to leave the warm, comforting glow of his computer monitor each night for pub quiz.

Dios mío, mis amigos. What a night we had here at Piper Down. It was as caliente as it gets, with the quiz competition reaching a fever pitch as round eight approached. We had covered topics as diverse as alternate film titles, mexican alcoholic beverages, sequels and the tribes of the first peoples.

It was the audio round that proved most pivotal, as the highest score in any round tonight was attained by Kris Has Krossed Over in round 2 which catapulted them and their backwards-pant-wearing kin into ultimate victory over all others.

However, Dick Bangdana's consistent approach allowed them to cinch second place tonight. Congratulations and never be afraid to let your freak flag fly.

I would be remiss if I didn't call attention to the admiral third place finish of
Dr. Scrotes. Although the completion of your doctorate over the course of the last week didn't help you go home with a prize tonight, I would be honored if you would look at this thing that's developed in my penoscrotal junction. Although my brother is an actual urologist, somehow I feel more comfortable in your capable hands.

Mad props to Dr. Nick Update: It's Actually Rehab for a) cracking the case wide-open on the alleged cause of Dr. Nick's sudden and unexplained disappearance and b) for sharpening all of the pencils tonight. You see, I am a sweaty man by nature and when you couple that with manual labor and a hot spring day, this quizmaster can look quite overworked and flummoxed. They picked up the slack in a major way and I want to thank them personally.

See you next Sunday, you lovely people. Sign up for the e-mail and check out the upcoming Game of Thrones themed quiz on its facebook page.

-Gar

Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
9:41 AM, May 02, 2013
Scores
Drinking team with a trivia problem 93
Str8 Boiz 92
Somewhat crack suicide squad 91
The Murphy's Brown 89
Ga Ga Ga Goink 89
(That means sine curve, Nick. I'm friends with the math nerds -Des) 87
Dumbledore is the best gay wizard 87
The Bush Li-Berry ans 85
We built this city on casual racism and statuatory Rape 83
~ 82
From Moonyoonookah, to Humpybong and Wooloomooloo. Look out Australia, we're coming for you! 80
The Cuntpunters 80
Eyelqqqguptd 79
I shaved my balls for this? 79
Reckless Swagger 78
I didn't know how to feel about my beard at first, but then it grew on me 77
Penultimates 76
Crystal Math 75
The Screamin Eagles 73
Bob loblaw's law blog 72
Mount Hood Hemp Patrol 71
Team Jeremy and the others 68
There are 2 kinds of people in this world. Those who extrapolate... 68
Whovians with the movians 67
Bill Nye and the Science guys 67
The fuckin awesome sauce 66
Michael, get in the fucking car! 66
Fuck this job, I quit 60
Vicki 60
Thelma and Louse non collage 43
Smurf 32
Full of shits 4
A Flock of Jesun
Doctor Nick: Thymelord


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Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm. 		Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

When we last saw our hero, he was time traveling with Hamlet, Prince of Denmark. The Jesus bid his companion farewell, and was off to Valhalla. Ironically, he listened to the artist known as Prince the entire ride home.

Upon arrival home, he casually exits the time-pod when he is surprised by an ambush. It's none other than the villain, The Deadly Duplicator!

“Jesus! You've spread your message of love and good behavior long enough. The Evil League can't defeat you, but I can undermine your deeds by confusing those who follow you!” cried The Deadly Duplicator.

He presses his copy button, and suddenly there are dozens of copies of the hero.

“Oh no,” cried Jesus, “you've created a flock of Jesun!”

“And they are all under my mind-control to do my bidding,” stated the Duplicator. “I will send my Jesun army upon the world to spread misinformation, hate, intolerance, and really fuck up people's Sundays! Also, I'm making them all vote Republican.”

What is the real Jesus to do? How will he defeat an army of himself before they do too much damage?

Will he stop them?

CAN HE STOP THEM?

He will recruit the intellectual forces of last night's winners and runners-up, Drinking Team with a Trivia Problem, and the scrappy young newbies, Str8 Boiz. Fight for good, justice, and the freedom to enjoy a weeknight drinking with friends.

See you all soon, be excellent to each other.

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