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Piper Down 1492 S State St Salt Lake City, UT 84115 Wednesdays: 7:30 PM Sundays: 7:30 PM View All Posts |
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Good evening, Piper Down!
I couldn't be more thrilled to be covering for the amazing Dr. Nick at the equally amazing Piper Down. Thank you all for having me this month. After tonight, I can tell this is going to be a fucking blast. Okay, okay, enough gushing from me. Let's talk about what makes Wednesday nights so fucking awesome.
Here come the HIGHLIGHTS:
- We all donned our most flattering male-chestified undergarments for round 1, and learned Meat Loaf was only one of the correct answers to the round. Not every question.
- In round two, we found Captain Planet's iPod holds Heart. The most useless band to match the world's most useless "power."
- Hey! Breaking news from Yahoo! news: "Guys, we're still failing miserably... or fantastically, depending on how you interpret it."
- This motherfucker of a quizmaster can pronounce the shit out of some foreign regions.
- Everyone did pretty great on the visual, which makes me cringe. Sorry to hear about all of your diarrhea.
- A round on wars begs a playlist of metal, not unlike a round on fat guys demands a playlist of dead rappers.
- Given the amount of kidnapping themed team names, your Texas Chainsaw Massacre knowledge came as no surprise.
- If you're going to have a question about sober schools in Utah, you're going to hear me play The Dead Kennedy's "Too Drunk to Fuck."
Hey, 60% of the time, Sex Panther takes 2nd place everytime. Tonight was a part of the other 40%. Three way tie for 2nd went to Elizabeth Smart's Chewed Gum with a tie-breaker question.
So who walks home with 1st place? Hodor, Hodor! Congrats, kids!
See you all next week, you sexy bastards.
Hugs & sloppy kisses,
-QM Chairman!
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Piper Down 1492 S State St Salt Lake City, UT 84115 Wednesdays: 7:30 PM Sundays: 7:30 PM View All Posts |
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Dios mío, mis amigos. What a night we had here at Piper Down. It was as caliente as it gets, with the quiz competition reaching a fever pitch as round eight approached. We had covered topics as diverse as alternate film titles, mexican alcoholic beverages, sequels and the tribes of the first peoples.
It was the audio round that proved most pivotal, as the highest score in any round tonight was attained by Kris Has Krossed Over in round 2 which catapulted them and their backwards-pant-wearing kin into ultimate victory over all others.
However, Dick Bangdana's consistent approach allowed them to cinch second place tonight. Congratulations and never be afraid to let your freak flag fly.
I would be remiss if I didn't call attention to the admiral third place finish of
Dr. Scrotes. Although the completion of your doctorate over the course of the last week didn't help you go home with a prize tonight, I would be honored if you would look at this thing that's developed in my penoscrotal junction. Although my brother is an actual urologist, somehow I feel more comfortable in your capable hands.
Mad props to Dr. Nick Update: It's Actually Rehab for a) cracking the case wide-open on the alleged cause of Dr. Nick's sudden and unexplained disappearance and b) for sharpening all of the pencils tonight. You see, I am a sweaty man by nature and when you couple that with manual labor and a hot spring day, this quizmaster can look quite overworked and flummoxed. They picked up the slack in a major way and I want to thank them personally.
See you next Sunday, you lovely people. Sign up for the e-mail and check out the upcoming Game of Thrones themed quiz on its facebook page.
-Gar
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Piper Down 1492 S State St Salt Lake City, UT 84115 Wednesdays: 7:30 PM Sundays: 7:30 PM View All Posts |
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When we last saw our hero, he was time traveling with Hamlet, Prince of Denmark. The Jesus bid his companion farewell, and was off to Valhalla. Ironically, he listened to the artist known as Prince the entire ride home.
Upon arrival home, he casually exits the time-pod when he is surprised by an ambush. It's none other than the villain, The Deadly Duplicator!
“Jesus! You've spread your message of love and good behavior long enough. The Evil League can't defeat you, but I can undermine your deeds by confusing those who follow you!” cried The Deadly Duplicator.
He presses his copy button, and suddenly there are dozens of copies of the hero.
“Oh no,” cried Jesus, “you've created a flock of Jesun!”
“And they are all under my mind-control to do my bidding,” stated the Duplicator. “I will send my Jesun army upon the world to spread misinformation, hate, intolerance, and really fuck up people's Sundays! Also, I'm making them all vote Republican.”
What is the real Jesus to do? How will he defeat an army of himself before they do too much damage?
Will he stop them?
CAN HE STOP THEM?
He will recruit the intellectual forces of last night's winners and runners-up, Drinking Team with a Trivia Problem, and the scrappy young newbies, Str8 Boiz. Fight for good, justice, and the freedom to enjoy a weeknight drinking with friends.
See you all soon, be excellent to each other.