1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
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We all know that we have tastebuds (although, based on the lines at The Cheesecake Factory, many people's tastebuds are broken) but did you know taste sensations come in five basic categories? It's true, they are salty, sweet, bitter, sour, and urine. Wait, that's not right... or is it? It's actually umami, but one of the teams playing posed the dilemna, does urine actually qualify as a separate taste sensation? Having not drank urine, I cannot confirm whether it fits into one of the other categories.
Again, considering there are people who eat at Applebee's, TGI Fridays, and The Queefcake Olfactory, I'm pretty sure urine is a favourite flavour for many people.
I'm just saying, food poisoning and digestive problems are probably deserved.
Of course, you fabulous quizzers who spent your Sunday with me are doing it right. What a great crowd, and that one drunk loser. Seriously, when did being a annoying cunt ever seem like a good idea for anyone? And don't tell me that "I was drunk, I didn't know I was being annoying..." Bullshit. I've been so wasted that I was time-travelling and didn't know who I was. But I'm sure of one thing, I've never been a degenerate retard who thought attempting to heckle someone was an endearing quality. Fortunately, it wasn't invasive, and I didn't have to get Boba Fatt on the guy.
Look, I like a good shout-out joke-answer, but for fuck's sake, be clever. If you're not clever, your place in this world is to shut the fuck up. Yelling stupid things, no matter the environment, just points out to the rest of us that you should never be fucked. If your significant other is a drunken retard, do not fuck them.
I don't get bugged by heckling. Seriously, you could run a 3-ring circus through the stage with a clown gang-bang in the middle of the quiz, and I would crack a brief joke and move along. So whatever your motive is, just don't. It's not worth the chance that I'll make you look like a complete herpes-carrying-twat.
What's the point of all this ranting? That everyone on earth is equal, and should be treated with respect. Except for people who love franchise chain restaurants, hecklers, and republicans. Fuck them. They're not human.
And there was this disappointment, which I will fall on the sword for the Geeks Who Drink empire and accept as much fault as anyone...
Sorry about that, Australia's greatest Asian superstar...
But on to the business at-hand. We had a lot of contenders who played a great game, and it was only by a few points that Smiths - Fresh values, deep cuts grabbed the win. Just behind them, I've been telling you for a while Obama carries a big stick. I know someone who knows someone.. got the second spot. Rookies and veterans alike, you all did great, and next week can be yours!
See you next time.