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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
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4:35 PM, September 06, 2012
Scores
Chicks, dicks, and Stevie Nicks 91
See-thru Stu and the Invisibles 85
Nick's mom baked us all cookies, she's really sweet... for a slut 82
Elisa's new boobs 82
Dirty Chairy 81
Franch 80
Deep Throw 77
Asexual masturbation fantasies 76
Mitt Romney's ribbed temple garments (for Ann's pleasure) 75
Clint Eastwood can't be a republican, he kills million dollar babies 73
Danga zone! 70
2 ho's and a mo 60
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said that's a pretty big word for a 5-year old 58
Tornado vultures 58
Big Floppy Donkey Dick 54
The legitimately raped 52
Stripes 41
The we are absolutely terrible team (TWATT) 36
Decoration of Independence 34
Jersey Shore will always be my beach 30
I'm old and I'm mad!
Doctor Nick: Thymelord


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Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm. 		Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

Cranky old man here, taking over the blog for the night for Dr. Nick, who is jet-lagged, sleep-deprived, low on blood sugar, not drinking enough liquor, and too busy with something he calls a “day-job” to write this blog. Speaking of which, what the fuck is a blog anyhow? He asked me to give a recap of the Geeks Who Drink pub quiz that was way too-loud and full of profanity all night.

That young bastard sure likes the f-word.

Anyways, you may remember me from round four, in which pop-culture bullshit was explained by an old person. What a bunch of rubbish. As if we old people are so clueless and talk like we don't know what's going on...

WHO ARE YOU BASTARDS AND WHY ARE YOU ON MY LAWN?!

That god-damned “quizmaster” was talking about politics and the hippity-hop music. John Mayer, Katy Perry, Will-I-Am... BAAHHH! Not a single one of them is any match for ol' blue eyes. And we never cared who he was partnering with, because he was making love with ALL THE WOMEN. That's right, real stars just have the sex all the time.

And another thing! You kids and your damn team names are filthy! Talking about Elisa's new boobs, Asexual masturbation fantasies, The legitimately raped... In my day, all rape was legitimate! And you didn't talk about it!

I don't get what fascination you kids have with Nick's mom. She's a respectable lady!

The second-place team, See-thru Stu and the Invisibles confuse me as much as a Rubik's Cube. Are you some sort of super-heroes?

Congratulations to Chicks, Dicks, and Stevie Nicks for your win, even though your team name pays homage to that hippy whore.

Now clean up your act, and call your grandmother more often. I'm sure she's worried sick about you bastards.