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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
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11:54 AM, September 03, 2012
Scores
Nick Isn't Here But His Mom Is And She's Fucking Everyone 76
Fetish Porn With Friends 73
Obama Gave Me A Clint Eastwood Infection 72
I Quizzed My Pants 66
Clint Eastwood And His Imaginary Friend 64
3 Out Of 5 Pussy Riots Ain't Bad 63
It's My Party, I'll Cry If I Want To 61
Go Ahead, Make My Election Day 58
The Bob Barkers 55
Moroni's Angels 48
Ravine & Surley 47
Sexy Ladies In The Back 42
John-Laney-Peggy 32
Mercedes' Ex Is A Douche 27
Lazy Sundaze 6
Dedicated in loving memory to John Candy (1950-1994)
Gar


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Quiz Schedule
Gracie's-Tuesdays, The Tap Room-Wednesdays 		Ryan (Gar)

Gar is an idiot man-child who likes cats, video games and beer.

He's a huge fan of Jeopardy, going so far as to acquire Alex Trebek's former mustache, which causes him to look like Ron Swanson. Mustache got Delilah'd

Despite the occasional run-on sentence, Gar is a dedicated Grammar Nazi. He's also a giant stickler for rules, mainly because his anxious disposition precludes from him convincingly pulling off any untoward behavior of his own.

A social recluse by day, the prospect of booze-fueled battles of wits propels him to leave the warm, comforting glow of his computer monitor each night for pub quiz.

As i have the lowest form of cable, the only movie channel i have is movieplex. They play almost exclusively awful, bush league movies starring famous people before they were famous or as they were falling from grace. Yesterday, i watched not one but two of these films back to back. They were a time capsule into a simpler time, when sight gags and saxophones were not only totally cool but mandatory. Of course i'm talking about the 1980s. The first film was Who's Harry Crumb? starring a terrifyingly ginger John Candy. Then we watched the Alan Alda triple threat Sweet Liberty. Between these two movies i've never heard so much popping and snapping of slap bass. Although far from perfect, i believe these two movies are certainly worth your time on a lazy sunday, for a few laughs, several groans, loads of 80s nostalgia and Michael Cain being Michael Cain.

Anywho, how about that quiz, eh? i was subbing for Nick as he roamed the streets of Los Angeles like a mad dog, in a birthday-fueled fugue state. Although according to the winning team of the night, his mom was here and she more than made up for his absence.

I feel as though i truly arrived as a quizmaster last night when i realized that i had developed a blister from sharpening so many pencils. i imagine this blister will wither and harden and become a true Geeks Who Drink Pencil Sharpening Callous, which will be impervious not only to the the slings and barbs of willful quizzers, but also gunfire, tequila and the proselytization of jehovah's witnesses. Or so i can dream.

Congrats to Nick Isn't Here But His Mom Is And She's Fucking Everyone and Fetish Porn With Friends for the top two spots. Obama Gave Me A Clint Eastwood Infection certainly deserves praise as well, with only one point between them and 2nd place.

Well, gods bless you all on this Labor Day. I believe i'm being coerced into going on a hike. I probably won't survive so.... it's been real.

-Gar