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Piper Down
1492 S State St
Salt Lake City, UT 84115
Wednesdays: 7:30 PM
Sundays: 7:30 PM
View All Posts
Comment Now
9:20 AM, August 27, 2012
Scores
Nick's Mom 82
My team is late and filled with pedophiles 73
If you get beer in your vagina, is that a Pabst Smear? 69
Ours is the fury 68
Avian Avengers 63
Hate crimes and birthday cake 63
1st round draft pick: Tebow. Fuck? 62
RIP Andy Kaufman 58
Aim low, they're riding Shetland ponies 58
We need to talk. It's not Colin, it's you.
Doctor Nick: Thymelord


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Quiz Schedule
Sundays & Wednesdays: Piper Down 7:30pm. 		Nick (Doctor Nick: Thymelord)

Nick is one of the rare people who was born in Las Vegas long before it became Disneyland for degenerates. His growing discomfort for heat, and ongoing feud with some Canadian boy named Celine Dion led him to the land of Zion. Upon discovering this wasn't the same land of Zion mentioned in The Matrix, he decided to make the best of the situation and began hosting pub quizzes. 

His hobbies include drinking, eating, teaching children to swear, cooking, and being one of the last people on earth who thinks CDs are the only way to buy music. His turnoffs are walks on the beach, because that combines sun, sand, and countless bacterias growing in the moist heat. 

By day he looks at an endless supply of MBA student assignments and weeps for the future. His most recent inappropriate comment to a student was, "I could take your business proposal to run an armoury for Live-Action-Role-Players seriously if it wasn't for the 793 grammatical errors which impeded my giggling."

He's not a licensed therapist, but he's happy to take a look inside your head and solve your problems. Better yet, come out to a quiz and drink your troubles away.

[this space available for expensive advertisements]

This may be controversial for some. Those who have not accepted the truth need to recognize that they are just being useless haters. Seriously, I'm not saying you need to love Colin Farrell, but that bastard is on a streak.

Last year we had Fright Night, which was a favorite of my childhood. Rather than be a skeptical bastard and judge it before seeing it, I held hope that it would be as good.

It was better.

Much better.

I even dug out the old Fright Night, and watched it again. It wasn't great. I'm not saying it was crap, but it hasn't held up. It still has its moments, but the new one was incredible.

Farrell: 1 – Originals: 0.

Total Recall... I know, you have fond memories. Maybe you need to keep them as memories. The reality is that Arnold cannot act. He is a parody of himself, and only works in roles which are supposed to be ridiculous. PKD wrote stories about characters which are real people in extraordinary situations, but the original Recall was a muscly giant in a ridiculous situation. If you're able to put aside your hatred for remakes, and watch the movie without being a judgmental dick, it's actually quite good.

Farrell: 2 – Originals: 0.

Where does he go from here? I'm glad he's not involved in the remake of Robocop, because there will be no winners in that one. Yes, I'm judging the original. It was lame when I was a 10-year old boy who should have enjoyed a robot movie. I can't imagine this concept is going to work again. 

On to other things, the man on the moon died again? I always knew Andy Kaufman pulled some crazy stunts, but faking his death 18 years ago to just stay hidden and die again is some sort of brilliance.

Of course I know it was Neil Armstrong who died. What a terrible week for that guy. Losing his Tour de France titles right before he dies...

Look, how am I supposed to get these deaths straight when NBC can't even report it correctly?

The team formerly known as Spoiler Alert took on a new identity, as Nick's Mom. That must have been the lucky charm, as they took the win tonight. Behind them, after a rough start, My team is late and filled with pedophiles. See you next time!