The Irish Hound
575 Saint Paul Street
Denver, CO 80206
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I will disagree that Howard the Duck is really as bad as everyone says it is. I mean, it’s not great by any standards, but when put into the perspective of Lucas’s other films, it is far superior to certain ones that will remain nameless on this page. That said, stop being such a dick to Howard the Duck. I mean, the comics were still pretty cool.
Speaking terrible movies, it seems there was a trend in the mid 90’s towards making awful movies about strippers. I would like to say that Striptease and Showgirls were interchangeable, but I never saw Striptease. Essentially all I really know about it is that Demi Moore is a stripper and Burt Reynolds gets all greased up for some reason. That alone is motivation for me to not want to see it. Showgirls on the other hand, just really sucked. Sorry, I was trying to find something redemptive to say about that movie, but there is nothing redemptive to be said. And while we are on the subject, put your pants back on Kyle McLaughlin. No one wants to see that.
One thing that could never be accused of being terrible is the Critic. This is one of my all time favorite animated shows, just barely edging out Home Movies. It’s also one of the last things that I truthfully enjoyed Jon Lovitz in. Now all be does is call the president an asshole. Let’s face it, John, you’re the main asshole any of us knows. That said, Scent of a Wolfman was fucking hilarious.
So no, there is no such cookie as the Pepperidge Farms Ozark. But there should be. As one person put it, it tastes like your sister. I would also imagine it contains squirrel meat and buckshot. Mm mm mmm. Doesn’t that just sound delish? Plus, it would be the perfect desert for your NASCAR themed shotgun wedding. In fact, I’m going to go ahead and copyright this idea right now.
That’s all for today kids. I’m going to try and figure out why my internet isn’t working. I’m a little concerned because I haven’t been able to feed my dinosaurs in my Jurassic Park game, and I don’t want the little guys to starve to death.