2435 Spenard Road
Anchorage, AK 99503
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It was the best of quizzes, it was the worst of quizzes. It was a time of genius-level intellect, it was 2 hours of Attica prison riot-level of pure unadulterated anarchy. The stand-in quizmaster was proven fallible and borderline human, to call the team's incredulous of what transpired that evening would be a gross understatement. It was a time of wet bars constructed out of gigantic sheets of ice with mood lighting and Berlin Wall souvenirs, it was a season of darkness that cast a shadow over this great land. It was the quiz of spring's hope, it was the quiz of winter's despair.
In other words, it's exactly how you would expect pub trivia to go in an Alaskan bar-within-a-bar that bears an uncanny resemblance to Comrades, the fictional Communist-themed watering hole featured in the 1993 motion picture "Wayne's World 2".
Eight teams competed total. The majority of team names reflected a, to put it politely, profound feeling of betrayal over the absence of their beloved regularly scheduled host. However, with the notable exception of one very public walkout, the troops resolutely forged ahead steadfast and determined. Thankfully, cooler heads prevailed and a mutiny was only barely avoided at the very last minute.
Junior High prom theme songs were nostalgized. Rap ditties about the noble homeless were played ever so briefly. It was officially established that yes, Alaska does have a Baskin Robbins now so quit asking already. Absurdist one-liner barbs about yo momma were dispensed at a steady clip throughout the night's festivities. The possibility of Lil' Wayne being nominated for an Emmy was briefly explored but just as soon abandoned. Chris Kattan became a topic of interest, arguably for the first time on this continent since the heady days of 2002's "Undercover Brother". Determining the tonal differences in Katherine Heigl's voice compared to Reese Witherspoon's proved more difficult than originally anticipated. And then we all took a second to finally decide once and for all which insurance spokesperson we would prefer to sleep with.
Sudden death was averted and not a moment too soon either. No ties were in need of breaking. No dead heats either, but we would have welcomed questions about Treat Williams, zombie buddy cop flicks and Joe Piscopo's Frank Sinatra impression with open arms should they have presented themselves to us. We instead took comfort in 3-part pencil questions.
Where The Fuck Is Wyatt? took first place for the $25 cash prize, I paid No Blowjobs For Wyatt $20 out of my own pocket by erroneously pre-maturely declaring Daedalus winner of the second place $15 cash prize when they were in fact third but it all worked out in the end. Ex-Quiz-It won the coveted "Not Last" prize. Congratulations are in order for all of you. If only quizzes were like little league where at the end you had to shake hands in a line and say "Good quiz" to your rivals. If only, if only...
Please watch the Geeks Who Drink's @ Koot's Facebook fan page on Monday when I reveal who won the prizes for best team name and most creative wrong answer.
Forever your humble servant/Scorekeeper On The DL/Quizmaster Alternate,
Nate Dogg, Esq.