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The Hut
305 North 4th Avenue
Tucson, AZ 85705
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8:41 AM, September 17, 2012
Scores
Hello Kitty Duct Tape 64

Prosecutors Will Be Violated 52

Perianal Fistulas 51

Don't Fuck w/ the Quizmaster 51

Homosnacktuals 38

Kaila 11

Mr. Mills 10

Go Steelers! 9

Jean-Luc


Web

Quiz Schedule
Thursdays 8PM @ Bumsted's at 500 N. 4th Ave.,Tucson, AZ, (NE corner of 6th St. & 4th Ave.)
Julio (Jean-Luc)

If there is one thing you must know about Jean-Luc (or "Julio" for those of you feeling saucy) it is that he loves scotch sours. Doesn't matter what kind of scotch goes into the sour, be it well scotch, Glenlivet, or Laphroaig. Because when he drinks it neat, he only drinks Talisker 18 year. Why is he telling you this? So you can buy him a scotch sour. He has no shame. But know this. Your buying him a scotch won't get you any free points for the night. But it will help him remember your name the following morning.

Originally a native from Los Angeles (Go Dodgers!), Jean-Luc has been living in Tucson close to four years. Love, not a desire to drive down property values, brought him here. And when he's not complaining about the heat, he's complaining about the cold. But he doesn't complain often, except when Ned Colletti makes a horrible trade or a questionable signing. Yes, he enjoys baseball. But he loathes the San Francisco Giants. More than he does gin and tonics.

This is the part of the bio where he lists favorites - favorite films, favorite musical artists, favorite books. After you gloss over the list, somehow you are supposed to know more about him than you did before. Though he doubts that. If you really want to get to know your quizmaster, just approach him. Talk to him. He's the one behind the microphone, mispronouncing words and making awful jokes that fall flat. He doesn't bite. Unless you want him to.

As promised, his favorites (which constantly change)!

Books:

  • Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
  • The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery
  • The Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein
  • 20 Poemas de Amor y Una Cancion Desesperada by Pablo Neruda
  • San Manuel Bueno, martir by Miguel de Unamuno

Music Artists:

  • Wire
  • The Ex
  • Tito Puente
  • Parliament/Funkadelic
  • Fugazi

Films:

  • Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
  • Night of the Living Dead (1968)
  • Viridiana
  • Bicycle Thieves
  • Die Hard

I tend to steer clear of big pop-culture trends, usually leaving a Facebook status long after the trend has gone stale and Buzzfeed has beat the ever-living hell out of it. Skrillex hair cuts? Yeah, I made a big deal of how stupid it looks weeks ago. Usain Bolt? I liked him in "Cool Runnings". The Macarena? Had a blast doing that dance last weekend. Psy's "Gangbang Style"? HOLY SHIT WHERE HAVE YOU (I) BEEN THESE PAST TWO MONTHS!?!? That catchy beat pulsating throughout, the wacky video and even the non-sequitorial dance every bit as captivating and hypnotizing as anything I have ever seen. So I spent my Sunday switching between K-Pop music and J-Porn videos. Nearly forgot I was filling in for Carribean Joe at The Hut.

Tonight, we were seated outside, a pleasant Sunday night inviting us to drink and be merry. Much fun was had by all - and many thanks to The Hut's tech/audio crew for helping us set up - with nary an interruption. Except for the drunken gal that insisted on shouting out answers during Round 8: Random Knowledge. Sure, there was banter between the quizzers and moi, much of it vulgarly sexual by nature. But that's the way I roll. This gal, though, who wasn't even participating in the quiz, wouldn't shut up. So I threw a comment her way about stuffing her mouth with a ball gag. Completely off the cuff...and she said nothing afterward.

"Did I embarrass her?" I thought. I am a bit of an asshole when I QM. I'm known as the asshole quizmaster in Tucson. Most love it, but there are some that are annoyed by it. I'm not there to hold your hand. I can give as much as I can take, under or over the sheets, maybe more. Anyway, she gasped and held her hand over her mouth. Two questions later and she tried again. I simply glanced in her direction and said, “Ball gag.” The man accompanying her looked at her, then toward me, then back at her. I like to think her sexual fantasy was revealed last night to him. What was once a vanilla relationship will blossom into some popular book series I hear some adults are into nowadays. I’ll update my Facebook status accordingly when I find out more about those books.