Geeks Who Drink - Elliot Bay Pizza and Pub

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Elliot Bay Pizza and Pub
800 164th Street SE Suite L
Mill Creek, WA 98012
Tuesdays: 7:00 PM
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1:00 PM, June 19, 2013


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Scores

Captain Tit-Hand and the Muffin Tops	79

Guilty Climax	76

See you next Tuesday	73

A Team Called Slickback	64

2 Beers and a Coke	60

We Almost Had to Leave	57

P-Hound	57

Thomas Hill +Justin	51

Army of One	40

Scuba Rueben	26

Bicep	18

Ramrod	2

The Quiz That Almost Wasn't

Stephanie Nusbaum

The Quiz that almost wasn't

There I was, home, curtains drawn against the sun who kept beating on the green paint of my house. I was awaiting the arrival of Sully our guest QM. The air was thick and hot. It weighed on me, like a fat man on a prostitute. My phone began singing, "In the not too distant future, somewhere in time and space, Mike Nelson and his robot pals-"

"Sully?"

"I'm here, which door?" He asked.

"They are all the same." I replied, because after all aren't they all the same? Don't they all lead us to the dungeons of Dungeons and Dragons?

Despite my best attempts he found the door.

"Just let me find my laptop charger." I said offhand as he took the space inside the entry.

I searched through the muggy tropics of my house for the power which guides our quiz. I searched with a fever in my eyes and fear in my heart. The kind of fear I get when I run into your mom at the grocery store because I never called her after we went out. A fear because that bitch is scary.

From the depths of the abyss (basement) a cry of victory was sung. A hero rose with the power in his hands.

"Thanks honey!" I said with grave respect as I took to cord from my husband.

The quiz saved, Sully and I were finally able to begin our journey.

We climbed into my chariot, sparkling green in the blast of the sun's rays, and air conditioned the shit out of it.

After traveling for many days we were almost upon our destination. It was in those moments that I realized that there was not enough fuel for a return trip. We would be stranded out there. In the desolation of unincorporated Snohomish County. To walk back into civilization would surely kill us, so I stopped for gas. The cost for life preserving fuel was high, and I had forgotten my card. I looked Sully up and down and figured I could get a decent price if I sold him to the savage, inhuman people of Mill Creek, they would do unspeakable things to him, but such is the price of petrol. He must have seen the look in my eyes because he pointed out that I had a shit ton of quarters in my change holder. His keen eye saved him from a life of prostitution in the wastelands of Unincorporated Mill Creek.

Finally we arrived at the legendary place where we would fulfill our quest. An oasis in a desert. Elliott Bay Pizza and Pub.

The inhabitants were of questionable origins and character, we would certainly have to keep our guard up. Especially Sully. They could smell fresh meat. Also I told them that he was fresh meat.

We promised the strange people entertainment and prizes for their cooperation. Occasionally they poked their spears at Sully, probably judging as I had earlier in our journey whether or not he would be worth a fair price, and how long it would take to break him in the notorious human trafficking ring of Mill Creek. He poked back which proved to quell their thirst for blood. I gave the grungy groups of people their prizes:

An Email bonus prize of a tin which can be used to hide things from the corrupt authorities (but unfortunately will be quite painful in a rectum) went to Eddie of
An Army of One.

2nd place with a $15 gift certificate went to a set of strangers who called themselves Guilty Climax.

1st Place with a $25 gift certificate to the bar was awarded to the generally silent pirate gang, Captain Tit-Hand and the Muffin Tops.

The journey back was much less eventful. We ran over several suspicious looking residents, but it was in self-defense.

Elliot Bay Pizza and Pub
800 164th Street SE Suite L
Mill Creek, WA 98012
Tuesdays: 7:00 PM
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12:44 PM, June 12, 2013


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Scores

Captain Tit-Hand and the Muffin Tops	97

Sex Maze	86

Slimming Jarts	72

I Don't Pull Out, But My Couch Does	70

Keryn is_________	70

Aaron is a Little Bitch	68

Got Excited and Quizzed Ourselves	66

Docile Farts	54

A Team Named Slickback	53

Po's Angels	46

And Now I'm Unemployed	43

Sex Mazing Butt Sex

Stephanie Nusbaum

What comes to mind when you think about Sex Maze? Here is what comes to my mind http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6k01DIVDJlY

And here is what comes to some other people's minds http://www.findloveinagaybathhouse.com/blog/successful-cruising-in-a-gay-sauna-maze

According to Got Excited and Quizzed Ourselves "Someday somebody's gonna make you turn around and 'fall in love,' but until then baby don't let them hold you down and 'have butt sex'"

Winners!

The email bonus prize (a color photo Bob-ography) went to Michelle

2nd place was forcefully taken by Sex Maze

and 1st place went to Captain Tit-Hand and the Muffin Tops!

Elliot Bay Pizza and Pub
800 164th Street SE Suite L
Mill Creek, WA 98012
Tuesdays: 7:00 PM
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1:28 PM, June 05, 2013


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Scores

Got Excited and Quizzed Ourselves	88

Captain Tit-Hand and the Muffin Tops	83

A Team Named Slickback	73

Horn on Horn Unicron Porn	66

Go Beer	56

Keryn is___________	55

And They Call Me Will	47

Ruck'n Dirty	45

Vicodin For Sale?Seriously!	33

The Befitting Jellyfish	30

Rebel Rousers	13

Kick Ass	13

White Guilt and Guilt-Free Abortions with Every Pizza!

Stephanie Nusbaum

Some Shout Outs!

"Enjoy your points you old bastards!" A response to Round 2 which featured some older musical tastes. Pick up a Beatles album, get lit, and listen to that shit The Befitting Jellyfish!

Vicodin for Sale...Seriously! gets a shout out because of their subtle advertising and because by Round 7 all they could think about was that special scene from Brokeback Mountain! Then another shout out for Round 8 because "It ain't me, I aint no Whitey's son, no!"

Some Not Shout Outs!

It seemed like everyone was riddled with a little white guilt actually because Round 2 Clip 5 was Niggas in Paris and some people "felt guilty writing it." It's okay, odds are you have a black friend. You just don't invite him/her to quiz night. No you're right, you should feel guilty.

Thinking about guilt, there was none to be had by Keryn who's team again went by Keryn is________ prompting me to announce, "Keryn is pregnant!" "Keryn is looking for a baby daddy!" (which got a raised hand), and finally "Keryn is getting an abortion!" to which the crowd groaned. C'mon people! It's the 21st century! If Keryn wants to abort her imaginary baby she should be allowed to! So if you're going to judge her do so because of her facial hair, not her preferred method of birth control!

Garrett came in with an injury and speculation around the bar is that he either got attacked by the lady he cut off on the way to the quiz, or his girlfriend finally started beating him. By "speculation around the bar" I mean rumors that I am posting, but trust me, I'm a reliable source.

Some Winners!

The Email Bonus was awarded to Matt O. who added to his glassware collection with an "Obey Your Quizmaster" pub glass.

2nd Place went to Captain Tit-Hand and the Muffin Tops

1st Place was taken by Got Excited and Quizzed Ourselves

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