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Ballard Loft
5105 Ballard Ave NW
Seattle, WA 98107
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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3:15 PM, July 04, 2012
Scores
Come as U R 80
236 Years of Giving England the Finger 73
50 Shades o Red, White, and Blue 73
Glen Danzig Loves Cat Facts 72
Patio Heatermasters 72
Jerry Sandusky's center for Kids Who Can't Shower Good 69
The Bucket of Beers is Ours 69
The Pen Is Mightier 69
Dark Side of the Fourth 68
Barney Fife Wept 66
Hot Cops 66
America, Fuck Yea! 64
My Box Is full of Pain 64
Canada Day Came First 62
Grand Theft Avocado 62
Bowie's Bare Bottom Bicycling Luchadores 61
Vaginal Prolapse 61
Don't Poke My Eye Out 59
Puss in Boots 59
Sexton Hardcastle and the Footlongs 58
Wed Wabbits 56
The Nutmeggers 54
Stupid Sexy Flanders 53
Toy Boat Toy Boat 53
Kamikaze Krill 52
Bud Heavy's 51
Dirty B 50
Trout 42
The Drop Outs 36
Tanning Chatums 28
Fiesty Bitches 19
Gutter Death 17
Abe Lincoln's Beard 11
Smells Like Roses 8
Ballin' Backens 5
Anomehai 4
And upon the eve, God sent a flood of douchebags
President of the "I Hate Jon Pio" Club


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Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays @ 8pm - The Ballard Loft, Seattle WA 		Jon (President of the "I Hate Jon Pio" Club)

Let's talk about me, finally.

Sean McNeil once said, "I don't know how you can be so arrogant yet hate yourself so much."  Thanks, Sean.  To answer the question you did not actually ask, I do not know how I pull it off but I do and it works.  That is, if you consider mind-boggling neurosis and crippling depression "working" but let us just go with it.

I live in Seattle yet I am originally from New Jersey.  That means I am a bastard.  Do not say "GTL" around me, I will cut you.  I may cut you anyway, since I have issues.  I got introduced to this whole pub quiz world when I went to a quiz at my current venue with two friends and a sociopathic girl without a soul.  After the soulless girl left my life I noticed that Geeks Who Drink was hiring in Seattle and I thought, "Oh my, this seems like a great place to feed my ravenous narcissim as well as fill the hole left by the soulless girl with lots of meaningless sex, perhaps finding some girl and trick her into loving me."  Well, it did not quite work out like that, but I am still trying. 

In the mean time, I really enjoy having everyone listen to everything I say and deconstructing them verbally when their actions do not please me.  Or verbally deconstructing them because I am bored.  Also drinking lots of whiskey.  I feel like my father.

Wow, can we pack more people into the Ballard Loft?  I bet we could, but everyone getting their drinks and food might be pretty difficult.  It would, however, not be many more people than the amount we had last night at quiz.  By the end of the night, we had thirty-six teams.  As far as I can recall, that is the upper limit of teams that I've had at the Loft before.  Well done people, please continue to attend me and make me feel like a God.

 

I don't really care what YOU think, but I believe last night's quiz was really well done.  There were lots of good coverage, variety, and humour.  There were lots of places where I can insert my own shame and disease for your amusement as well.  Everyone won last night, except Canada.  Also, the dude who failed the firework tiebreaker originally failed AGAIN.  I both smirk at your despair and feel bad about it.  It didn't last long, but it did happen. Honest.

 

Next, of all the rounds, everyone did the worst at the Dr. Seuss round.  Do you all hate children or something?  You should.  I did feel like some sort of ambassador bridging the eternal divide between jocks and geeks with our round six about questions/sports nicknames.  No violence erupted, no wedgies were given, no threats of "you'll be pumping my gas someday!" (I realize this is not a valid geek-to-jock response in states that are not Oregon or New Jersey).  However, in the end, one team did write down that the round really wasn't a sports round and that I was a liar.  While I AM a liar, it was as sporty as we may get. 

 

In regards to the title of this post, most of you missed it I assume.  Apparently, due to the fact that most people do not have to work on Wednesday, the Loft flooded with douchebags, bros, bro-douches, douchebros, bro-bros, douchedouches, bra-bros, and Brosiden, God the Brocean as I settled down to my post-quiz grilled cheese.  Wow.  Woah.  There was cheering and woo-ing and shots of Jaeger.  I feel bad for the staff because I'm sure they were tired from the packed-as-balls quiz night.  I am just about able to suppress my fear of being in public with others for the duration of quiz, so this was far too much. 

 

In conclusion, butts.

 

#

 

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If you read this far, remember that the first person to say the magic phrase to me after my first on mic announcement wins a free drink on my tab.  The phrase next week are the three words before the octothorpe.