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Ballard Loft
5105 Ballard Ave NW
Seattle, WA 98107
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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12:38 PM, May 22, 2013
Scores
You're a Quizzard, Harry! 85
Chug-A-Lug Vegas Vacation 80
The NBA Can Go Fuck Themselves 74
Sharp Pencils Turn Me On 70
James and the Giant Impeach 70
Hey Kids, Let's Play Twisters 69
Milli Vanilli Tribute Band 69
We Have a Prior Engagement 65
Sea-adderall Seahawks 63
Ballard's 4th Most Popular Quiz Team 60
Loaded Potatoes 60
Don't Quiz the Fuckmaster 59
The Dead Snail Society 59
DJ Baby Bok Choy 59
My Couch Pulls Out But I Don't 56
Grand Theft Avocado 55
The Boom Boom Room 55
Never Nudes 54
Doctor Doctor 50
Kitten Party 50
23 Weeks and Counting 42
Bacta Tank 6
I'M AN ADULT
President of the "I Hate Jon Pio" Club


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Quiz Schedule
Tuesdays @ 8pm - The Ballard Loft, Seattle WA 		Jon (President of the "I Hate Jon Pio" Club)

Let's talk about me, finally.

Sean McNeil once said, "I don't know how you can be so arrogant yet hate yourself so much."  Thanks, Sean.  To answer the question you did not actually ask, I do not know how I pull it off but I do and it works.  That is, if you consider mind-boggling neurosis and crippling depression "working" but let us just go with it.

I live in Seattle yet I am originally from New Jersey.  That means I am a bastard.  Do not say "GTL" around me, I will cut you.  I may cut you anyway, since I have issues.  I got introduced to this whole pub quiz world when I went to a quiz at my current venue with two friends and a sociopathic girl without a soul.  After the soulless girl left my life I noticed that Geeks Who Drink was hiring in Seattle and I thought, "Oh my, this seems like a great place to feed my ravenous narcissim as well as fill the hole left by the soulless girl with lots of meaningless sex, perhaps finding some girl and trick her into loving me."  Well, it did not quite work out like that, but I am still trying. 

In the mean time, I really enjoy having everyone listen to everything I say and deconstructing them verbally when their actions do not please me.  Or verbally deconstructing them because I am bored.  Also drinking lots of whiskey.  I feel like my father.

I usually do not blab endlessly about the event at the quiz the night before (ed. sure you do) in my little blog here (ed. I think calling it 'little' is an embellishment).  I mean, if you are reading this, you were probably there.  You were paying attention, I don't need to rehash it (ed. they probably weren't and you know it).

OK, I guess it is possible you weren't there and are still reading this (ed. highly unlikely)(ed. also highly unlikely anyone is reading it at all) so I will reiterate the story of My Couch Pull Out But I Don't.

Some background:  This is a horrible team name.  You are made more horrible just by reading it in print (ed. this seems like a bit of an exaggeration).  If you read it do not file it away in the back of your head to use at some point in the future.  This is a mistake.  It's one of the classic blunders, insert Princess Bride quote (ed. lazy).  It's usually selected by a team that doesn't play quiz often at all, they hear someone mention it during their dull and bland lives so they take it to one of the two quizzes they go to yearly, not knowing that Geeks Who Drink nationally probably sees that team name 8 times a day.  Some people, aka hipster douchebags (ed. you?), try to ironically use it.  This is a failure.  Some people think they are clever and try to make variations of the team name (ed. you?).  This is a failure (ed. you?).  It is the Kobayashi Maru of team names (ed. you truly have a sad life).  If you didn't get that reference WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? (ed. probably something worthwhile and non-toxic, like you).

The only thing worse than someone that uses that team name are cheaters (ed. really? What about Nazis? rapists?).  These facts came together in a perfect storm last night (ed. ugh, too soon?).  After Round 1 I saw that a team has chosen the Team Name That Shall Not Be Named and I started my brain churning on a properly shameful new team name for them.  However, during Round 2 someone came up to me to report some braintrust at the standing bar was using Shazaam to identify the song titles.  I saw them doing it after he mentioned it, they were being so obvious.  After accepting their answer sheet I went to thank the team that reported them, because passive-aggressive Seattle folk generally will tell me a team is cheating AFTER THE QUIZ IS OVER.  However, I they were the owners of the failure name.  What to do?  I explained the flaw of their lives.  The decisions that brought them to this point.  The history of that name.  I decided to give them a free pass on the name this time due to services rendered.  See how this works, people?  I may be cruel and cold, but I am just.  Loyalty is rewarded and insurrection is put down.  Swiftly and severely.

Speaking of swift and severe, I then got on the microphone and audibly tore up the cheaters' answer sheet and THREW IT ON THE GROUND, followed by this song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAYL5H46QnQ).

Turns out, I'm an adult.

This to know - The Rumble in the Pub is coming!  It is a Geeks Who Drink regional tournament.  I want YOU to be the best team in all of Seattle.  Get it done by applying HERE

Our next theme quiz is all about Game of Thrones on June 8th!  Quiz is coming: http://www.geekswhodrink.com/198/

Ballard Loft
5105 Ballard Ave NW
Seattle, WA 98107
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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10:05 PM, May 15, 2013
Scores
Boobs, Interrupted 78
Ticking Time Boobs 78
Angelina Jolie's Boobs รข?? Now On Ebay! 77
Ninja Killers 77
Pio's Not My Real Dad 77
We Like Our Beer Like We Like Our Violence...Domestic 77
Desperately Seeking Sasquatch 76
Chug-A-Lug Heartwarming Tale of Redemption 75
Brad Pitts Sainleen Motorboat 73
The Sea-ward 73
Nickelback Tribute Band 71
Ballards 4th Most Popular Quiz Team 70
Boom Shaka Laka Laka Lakalaka 69
IKEA Meatballs 66
Old Standby 66
I Want A Sandwich, Im Hungover 65
Back In The Game 60
Something Clever 59
Brick Killed A Guy 57
Grandma Cant Wrestle But You Should See Her Box! 55
4 People Short of a Team 53
Team Gail 49
Awkward Segue 47
Dolls Beep 47
Dont Touch The Driver 41
Awkward Segue 30
Straight Jacket 28
Why Did The Marines Pull Felix? 23
Team Tebow 8
No Pio makes Quizzers something something
Tom Bombadil


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Quiz Schedule
 		Mark (Tom Bombadil)

When the Master is away the Quizzers will play. Especially team Pio's Not My Real Dad.

This week was the quiz where you guys fucked with me a bunch and I loved every minute of it. With Pio gone I was at the helm with help scoring from Chaz

Things started out innocently enough with Round 1: Recently In Stuff. We started with a sports question but at least the answer Tim Tebow is a meme so that gives the geeks a leg up. Our audio Round 2 was titled Is There Something You're Trying to Tell Us? and featured Lola by the Kinks, I Kissed a Girl by Katy Perry, In the Navy by The Village People, and She Has a Girlfriend Now by Reel Big Fish.

Round 3 was Miscellaneous Concepts. Luckily for you quizzers they were all 50/50. Round 4 was my personal favorite: First Ladies I'd Like to Fuck. It's pronounced just like MILF but just with an added level of complexity. I have to say I am a pretty big fan of Mary Todd Lincoln. You gotta respect a woman who can support her husband not only while he is president but also while he is helping rid America of vampires.

This is about the time that team Back In The Game started getting noisy up in the balcony. They wanted to make sure we all knew, without question, that their name is a warning to all other teams.

For our visual round this week we had Do Gooders and you had to match them to their charitable organization. This was followed by a round on Muhammads and Alis. Booyakasha!

We rounded off the final two rounds with an audio round on ZooTV. We heard various TV shows with animals in the names including Spider-Man, Josie and the Pussycats, and The Monkees. The last round was, as always, Random Knowledge and I was glad to get the chance to say "Askewniverse" on the microphone.

In the end of all things we had a close match. There was a two team tie for first and a three team tie for second. The two top teams were the tits. We had Boobs, Interrupted and Ticking Time Boobs. The Sudden Death question was won by Boobs, Interrupted as they knew that the 9 letter P word I was looking for was Politburo and not Political.

Join us next week when things return to normal and Pio chains me to the scoring table.

Ballard Loft
5105 Ballard Ave NW
Seattle, WA 98107
Tuesdays: 8:00 PM
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Comment Now
9:57 PM, May 15, 2013
Scores
Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah 78
Finkle MIA 75
What's with the Yellow Rectangles 75
Game Over 70
The Gentle Lovers (Discreetly) 70
You're a Quizzard Harry 69
Grand Theft Avocado 68
Game of Crohn's 67
Chug A Lug House of Pancakes 66
Feel the Rhythem, feel the ryhme, get on up it's drinking time! 64
Tebow, Eh? 62
Arya Starks Teen Dream 61
Pants Hyrdra 59
Beer Me 59
Jingle Jugs 57
Beer Battered Thunder Thighs 54
Go Lightly 54
Team Ducati Zaser Racers 53
Blackhawks Rule! Go Canuck Yourself 48
Zed 46
The Flatulence Lord Poopmore 45
Team Ram Rod 41
Charle's Barkley's Left Eyebrow 35
Everyone's Late 29
Crohn's and Colitis - A Match Made in Heaven!
Tom Bombadil


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Quiz Schedule
 		Mark (Tom Bombadil)

Well, IT WAS, if you believe in most religious world creation myths or intelligent design. 

Last night we had a little fundraiser for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America, doing a ton of raffles, selling beers, and collecting.  You should all feel really good about yourselves and use this small charitable measure as a means of making up for all of the terrible things you do which, in all honestly, overshadow these meager gestures by quite significant amounts.  Yet, as they say, the most believable lies are those we say to ourselves, so you keep going with that.  I mean, you have to sleep at night somehow.  Personally, I use scotch and crying.  Lots and lots of crying.  It really tuckers you out after the first hour or two.

Enough about charity, I want to talk about Scooby Doo.  I was never a big fan, another bumbling moron getting all the attention and fame for righting wrongs and having adventures when it was really a team effort (or, usually Velma figuring things out).  Scooby Doo is a lovable children's icon and I'm still not sure why.  I mean, beyond being a complete buffoon and possibly a stoner (although you shouldn't get dogs high, what kind of message are we sending here) he's also a complete coward.  Has Scooby Doo grown at all in the last thirty years or so?  Has he evolved?  Has he learned from all of these situations he has found himself in?  I really don't think he has, but I admit to being no expert.  I mean, isn't it a sign of insanity that a creature has not evolved after exposure to so many stimulii like this? If he were alive today, Darwin might slap Scooby Doo directly in the face.

Before I end my rant on Scooby Doo, I feel it necessary to share this link in which Scooby Doo crosses over with The Red Room from Twin Peaks and A Man From Another Place appears.  This little bit here might actually alleviate all of the negativity I have towards him. 

Don't forget, this Friday is the close of the Art in Video Games Exhibit at EMP!  We are having a huge video game event with lots of retro and rare gaming, horror gaming, and a variety of games up on the Skychurch screen, the largest indoor LED screen in the world!  Additionally, some of the Seahawks will be present to play some Madden 2013, panel discussions with gaming industry bigheads, and a talk by Steve Wiebe, who you might remember from KING OF KONG. 

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