Green Room Burgers & Beer
4010 Pennsylvania Avenue
Kansas City, MO 64111
Mondays: 8:00 PM
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What did you do with your Monday evening?
Well if you weren't here, then you missed out on...the quiz. And an exciting one at that.
Why was it so exciting?
14-year-olds on a sugar high.
Shakespeare themed rounds.
Shakespeare themed burgers.
Rock Paper Scissors tie breakers.
Teams taking no shit from loud nonplayers.
And another Trainee.
Yep I was training again. So, as normal when I train, I tend to drink a lot more, so my recollections are a bit hazy.
Calleen was my trainee, and since her new venue starts this Tuesday, I had to put her through the gauntlet. The Whole Quiz by herself. Becoming a champion or a choker, it was all in her hands.
You can find out where she is hosting at here....https://www.facebook.com/KansasCityGeeksWhoDrink
She did great, by the way.
Except for one thing.
She rolls up cords like a 5-year-old. They were a jumbled mess, in some cases 2 or more cords together.We're not braiding hair here, Calleen. These are very important pieces of equipment. One cord was so hopelessly tangled, I just threw it away.
Maybe you are thinking, “meh big deal. That doesn't really reflect on her quiz hosting does it?”
No. Not at all. Like I said, she did great. Flawless even.
But she is horrible at one thing.
Being a man.
Anyone who was raised in a rural environment can agree there are three things that attest to your manhood...in the eyes of your fellow misogynistic, homophobic, and dimwitted townspeople.
Shooting (hunting) animals without crying
Backing up a trailer/boat
Rolling up cords
These things are so important that simply being able to do them well will actually negate one or more of the reasons that you would normally get beat up for.
These are things I heard while growing up in Southern Missouri (real shit yo).
“Ya know that dick sucker Billy?” “That f***** can shoot! He took down a 14-point buck with the most beautifully placed shot I have ever seen. Right through the lungs and heart.” “I guess a limp wrist don't affect your aim after all.” (drunken laughter)
“I tell you what. That ------ is alright. I seen him putting his boat in at the lake and it was downright prudy.” (drunken laughter)
“Bryan (yep me), you frame [a house] like a woman, but you rolled the cords up the best I have ever seen....That's your job now, too. Cause everything else you do is shit.” (drunken parenting)
So if you are a despised minority in a rural area and are confronted with a bunch of hateful rednecks, you now know how to gain their respect.
Back up your trailer and load the bodies.
Put ‘em in your boat, tie big rocks to 'em with your neatly rolled and untangled cord.
Back that boat into the lake.
Now go back to town and notice how nice all the other inbred pricks are to you.
There you go.
Life lessons from you friendly quizmaster.
See you next week
This has been pub quiz.