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Mile High Spirits
2920 Larimer Street
Denver, CO 80205
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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12:08 AM, June 07, 2012
Scores
Bath Salts & Pepper 80
Simon Le Bon Frenched My Boobs 66
Trivial Hirsute 61
Wykowskis and Friends 59
I Mustache You A Question But I'll Shave It For Later 53
Flailing Fanatical Killers 51
Test Icicles 50
These Samples Have Not Been Cleared
Sir Lucas, the Funyun Knight


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 		Lucas (Sir Lucas, the Funyun Knight)

I want to watch the world burn.

Some of you are probably still wondering why I had a pocket full of condoms last night.  I want your pub quiz experience to be as comfortable as possible.  What I had in mind was just a simple lever, like a chop stick.   I admit it was every bit as terrifying, painful, and bloody as my priest said it would be.  All I can do is give you my most ambivalent, half-hearted apologies.

Before we move onto how quiz shook out, I want to talk about something a little more serious.  Your mother is slowly abandoning you, and I am your trigger happy step-father.  She seemed to enjoy it and she hasn’t called the cops yet, so I might untie her from the radiator here soon.   I think she's going to be a great addition to the dorky and cynical group of people that makes up this wonderful group of mess ups.  We’ll see if I’m singing the same tune when the rest of the family rolls in, but for now I’m enjoying the experience.  Don’t forget to invite your friends, neighbors, roommates, massage therapist, random person you pass on the street, or that guy you cut off in traffic.

Right now I need to go back to bed. I need sleep and distance from last night to make it all ok.  Yet...yet...I'm being distracted by this crazy half Jewish half Mexican kid.  Juan argued with me about the fennel.  I’m a nice Asian girl from Montana - it was a first for me to let that snarkiness out and you know what happened - may be a Geeks Who Drink first - he actually came up and hugged me!  Plus there were two midgets doing things to me that are considered illegal in some states.  Those twinkly lights and heavy red curtains brought me back to sepia toned sexual encounters in the high school theater…  His father had an absolutely terrifying mustache.  He is now capable of making the best local porn in town.