Joe Sent Me (Cambridge)
2388 Massachusetts Avenue
Cambridge, MA 02140
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
View All Posts
I've been wondering when they would let the crazies into Joe Sent Me. I know they're around, I used to LIVE in Cambridge for Christ's sake, and I know it has more than its fair share of crazies. After a year of pub quizzing here at Joe Sent Me with you lovely people, I'd all but concluded that it was far enough off the beaten path (read far enough away from central square) to be out of reach of those crazies. Learned it's not so, or at least not COMPLETELY so, tonight. A gentleman approached me after reading R8Q5, the one about the author of The Basketball Diaries who also did “People who Died.” He stared at me with eyes that thought they had seen way more than they had seen and told me that anyone who didn't know who did “People who Died” deserved to die. I was scared—not of physical harm, he was kinda frail and I'm a fucking warlock, I mean come on—I was scared that with those big fucking eyes he could see directly into my soul. I was honest, as I often am when people creep me out enough to make me recognize that I know absolutely nothing about them and cannot assume their mind functions in a way similar to mine. All my comfort and confidence quickly drained out the cuffs of my pants like the piss of a scared little kid. I told him I didn't know who did the song—had never even HEARD of the song (or the artist, who the fuck is Dave Carroll anyway), until I read the question. Something about those eyes just convinced me he'd see right through me if I lied. He proceeded to stare daggers silently at me (standing less than 36 inches away) for almost a full minute, while I tried to end the moment with nervous laughter. He then babbled some more incomprehensible shit and then walked away.
It feels good to have gotten that out, if only because when he follows me out of the bar and rips my spinal cord out with his teeth this blog will be available to aid the cops in their investigation. I feel much safer now.
Place the first was occupied almost all night by Leprechaun Flute, who never saw R8 coming. Little did they know that they, P-P-P-Poker Face and Tywannasauwus Wex were the only teams who used their jokers on R2. The Neepsters came roaring out from behind like a bat out of meatloaf and smashed the hell out of those early-joker-circlin-motherfuckers. Joe Bent Over the A-Town Floozies was right behind them to snag second, and David Bowie's Codpiece claimed third.
The Comic Relief:
I need some clarification: Happy Birthday Jenna, was that Chinese in which you answered R6Q7? If so, great, but I don't speak it, let alone read their goddam thousand-character alphabet. You may have been right; I'll never know. Happy birthday!
Thank you to David Bowie's Codpiece for recognizing the “last resort” flavor of the pun that made up the title of R6—“you otter do well on this”—and coming up with a better one, pictured at left. It sounds way more weird and scary.
Thanks to the Neepsters for not being too busy winning to illustrate R6 for me. Pictured at left. You guys are hilarious.
Best answers of the night:
4. What do you call those whale bristles? Fuckin whale bristles. Thanks, World's Strongest Dads.
3. In the “ick” round: what brand name do you see on most summer sausage? Icky sausage. Not so, but thanks anyway, Dammit Bears.
2. What do they call eggplants in England? Eggplants that are English. Thanks AGAIN, Dammit Bears.
1. Also in the “ick” round: what's the name of the civil war general who led his troops in that disastrous Gettysburg charge? My dick. You are correct. Thanks, World's Strongest Dads.
No geekout tonight, too busy looking over my shoulder for that creepy murderer.
The Everything Else:
You guys are fun. Thanks. See ya next week.