The Tavern at St. Michael's Square
2918 67th Avenue
Greeley, CO 80634
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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Thursdays at 8pm at The Tavern at St. Michael's Square
I’ve been called many things: Baron of the open seas, Deadly assassin of Venus; slayer of virgins, Almighty alliterative allure of Alderaan. But none have I accepted or endeared as much as Quizmaster. Before hosting quiz, I use to relax with my hound, Rex, in the study with a nice French Bordeaux reading contemporary re-writes of Arthur and his knights. They were pleasant evenings but lacking angst until I found a group of rapscallions whom, chiefly, were concerned with matters of the stomach. I was invited to these ghastly places filled with rakes, harlots, and rascals all of which were well versed and drunkards. I was entranced by their apathy and soon found myself to be one of them. I was swashbuckling through the streets and alleys with a belly primed with beer, only driven by the desire to consume more until my stomach stages a revolt. Having my wits about me, I now behold the title of Quizmaster and enjoy everyone’s heckling and groans when I announce answers and scores.
TL;DR: I have found my people.
Let’s start off this blog with some global politics, no? The elephant in the room is big bad North Korea, ahem, Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Some of you may look at that and think it’s an oxymoron, but I assure you, that is their official name (the DPRK for short). North Korea owns the most submarines in the world. Yeah, it’s true. Crazy little Kim Jong Un has a bunch of subs (20x as many as the food sort too) at his disposal. Too bad their defunct Russian subs and midget subs of which, a majority are ported indefinitely. You’d have to be insane to take second hand Russian technology; they’re just crazy. Could you imagine operating one of those and being taught by an old war-torn Russian with a portly belly filled with vodka and borsch in a thick accent?
“Wheel no work. Dive with pulling this plug and you sink. Button for toilet, here. Or maybe torpedo launch. ?????? ([hara-show] = good)?”
Oh, those crazy Russians. Remember a few months ago when that meteorite came down over Russia, blew out a few windows, and hurt a few people? Ever wonder why everybody in Russia seems to have a dash came? It’s because officials are corrupt and they need hard evidence that people aren’t walking out in front of cars to claim an injury lawsuit. It’s not that they’re shocked my much, I mean, watch this video (Jon Steward does it better than me). The guy just puts down the visor as if the sun is too bright, never mind that a meteorite is burning up.
The FIGHTING ABRAHAMS got a full reach around from LAST CHANCE TO MILK THE MILK SUBSTITUTE in round 8. BUTT I POOP FROM THERE got the just not last prize. See you next week, kiddos.