The Tavern at St. Michael's Square
2918 67th Avenue
Greeley, CO 80634
Thursdays: 8:00 PM
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Let’s start off this blog with some global politics, no? The elephant in the room is big bad North Korea, ahem, Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Some of you may look at that and think it’s an oxymoron, but I assure you, that is their official name (the DPRK for short). North Korea owns the most submarines in the world. Yeah, it’s true. Crazy little Kim Jong Un has a bunch of subs (20x as many as the food sort too) at his disposal. Too bad their defunct Russian subs and midget subs of which, a majority are ported indefinitely. You’d have to be insane to take second hand Russian technology; they’re just crazy. Could you imagine operating one of those and being taught by an old war-torn Russian with a portly belly filled with vodka and borsch in a thick accent?
“Wheel no work. Dive with pulling this plug and you sink. Button for toilet, here. Or maybe torpedo launch. ?????? ([hara-show] = good)?”
Oh, those crazy Russians. Remember a few months ago when that meteorite came down over Russia, blew out a few windows, and hurt a few people? Ever wonder why everybody in Russia seems to have a dash came? It’s because officials are corrupt and they need hard evidence that people aren’t walking out in front of cars to claim an injury lawsuit. It’s not that they’re shocked my much, I mean, watch this video (Jon Steward does it better than me). The guy just puts down the visor as if the sun is too bright, never mind that a meteorite is burning up.
The FIGHTING ABRAHAMS got a full reach around from LAST CHANCE TO MILK THE MILK SUBSTITUTE in round 8. BUTT I POOP FROM THERE got the just not last prize. See you next week, kiddos.