Yes, there really is a real TV product called the Kitty Wig, with the tagline, “Turn your cat into a Glamorpuss!” In fact there’s even a digital book and an iPhone app to go with it. Now if you read that real quickly and swap some of the words, you’d think it was something completely different. It reminds me of this sign I once saw that said, “Why go bare, when you can have flair. Vajazzle today!” Quite a disturbing and uncomfortable thought, and now it’s in your heads as well. You can thank me later.

And if you’re inspired to create pink, white, and blue wigs for, well, you know, then good luck to you. Make a Kickstarter campaign. And let me know how it goes.

Eleven teams assembled at Costello’s Tavern last night for the Geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz where the Geeks fielded questions on cats, tools, rocket science, and much more. When all was said and done, it was That John Denver if Full of Shit who won the quiz with 72 points. Klingon Opera came in second, one point ahead of My Ultimate Ayn Rand Porn. Placing fourth was Lazer Show, then Goliath National Bank, Marfy & Mike, and Partners In Crime. Tying for eighth place were Team Yellow and Blue Barracudas. Dylaroo and Pumpkinhead rounded out the standings.

The breakdown of all the rounds is as follows:

Round 1 (The Other Guy) average – 5
Round 2 (Let’s Get Married… Sucker!) average – 6.27 (out of 16 points)
Round 3 (Real TV Product, or Some Shit We Made Up?) average – 4.18
Round 4 (Why Yes, It Is Rocket Science) average – 4.3
Round 5 (Hey Girl, Check Out My Tools) average – 6.1
Round 6 (A Round For Our Conservative Friends….All Three of You) average – 4.3
Round 7 (What Kind of Cat Are You?) average – 6.5
Round 8 (Randos) average – 8.7 (out of 16 points)

The first round was on all the Watsons of the world—the lesser known individual who yielded the limelight to another. The audio round was on getting married songs. The third round was a multiple choice round where the Geeks had to identify if the product I read out loud was a real TV product, or something made up.

Round four was on rocket science stuff and the visual round showed eight lesser-known tools for the Geeks to identify. Next was a round on conservatives, and the second audio round had clips from Billy Jonas’s What Kind of Cat Are You?

Klingon Opera had the lone perfect score in the first round. John Denver had the high score of 11 in the first audio round. In round four, John Denver and Lazer Show both picked up seven points. Four teams were perfect on the visual round, while only Lazer Show got the full eight points in the conservatives round.

The top four teams were perfect in the seventh round and the top five had double-digit scores in the final round. Thanks to everyone who joined us and come back next week for another Geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz.

 “When One Geek Drinks, All Geeks Drink!”

• The Royal Hilltop - Aurora 8:00 PM
• Darcy's Bistro & Pub - Denver 8:30 PM
• Prickly Pete's - Denver 8:00 PM
• The Whiskey Bar - Denver 7:00 PM
• The Cheeky Monk - Westminster 9:00 PM
• The Ram (Meridian) - Meridian 9:00 PM
• Lisa's Restaurant & Lounge - Augusta 7:30 PM
• Opal Divine's (Marina) - Austin 10:00 PM
• Opal Divine's (Penn Field) - Austin 10:00 PM