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Guns. Gay marriage. Transvaginal ultrasounds. Besides being the major components of like, the best fucking weekend EVER, these are all thorny political issues whose mere mention is usually followed by rancor, debate and Hitler metaphors. That's why we here at Geeks Who Drink decided that the canniest course of action would be devote a round to these topics and read them over a microphone to a bar of surly boozehounds amidst a bowdlerizing family restaurant atmosphere. No recipe for disaster there. Besides the contentious social issues cited above, questions were posed on the subjects of Medicaid, Social Security, Israel and illegal immigrants (or Illegal-Americans, as they don't prefer to be called). If there wasn't something that made you uncomfortable or want to write a strongly-worded letter-to-the-editor, then we weren't properly doing our job.
Eight measly rounds clearly could not contain this game. A three-way draw (a ménage-à-tie, if you will) for first place resulted in the top spots being determined via a last resort: Emergency Ultimate Final Mortal Sudden Death Round of Death! An extra five questions sorted the whole mess and Pop Cultural Anthropologists climbed atop the heap. Club Clermont Chimps secured a close second place and Sandusky's Sleepover mustered a very respectable third. Brown Chicken Brown Cow, the Floridiots, Apple π and the Overeducated snagged 4-7th respectively, while Faith + One, No and Zissou were next in line. Navajos and Squashing Cucumbers came in at 11th and 12th but We Want To Be Here Forever left after Round 1. How ironic.
And let me add that if you or a loved one were personally offended by anything I said or did this past Thursday, please direct all grievances and legal summons to the following:
David Hasselhoff Official Fan Club
Hasselhoff-Foundation
Auf dem Berg 8
59368 Werne a. d. Lippe
Germany
fanclub@hasselhoff-foundation.de