Scott Talbert

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Tom Scott Talbert III ( /?t?m ?skot ?talbart’/; born April 3, 1982 in Galveston, Texas), better known as Scott Talbert is an American polymath generally considered his generations’ Moses and  known for multiple achievements beginning in the late 1990s and spanning through the 2000s until the present day.

Talbert’s achievements span the fields of inebriated boasting, irritating repetition, hobo rocketry, and finding Waldo.

A highly sought after conversationalist and dachshund whisperer, Talbert has been a staple of the Houston social scene since late 2005.  Since 2011, Talbert has worked with Geeks Who Drink at a variety of bar and pub locations in Houston, TX advancing the sciences of microphone speaking and crowd hypnotism.

Talbert is also well known for his controversial handsomeness.

Contents [hide]

1 Early life and Education

2 Career

4 Popularity

5 Controversy

5.2 Oprah Winfrey Show incident

5.3 Quotes

6 Filmography

7 See also

8 References

9 External links

Early Life and Education

Talbert was born on the island of Galveston, Texas, the son of Elizabeth Kay (née Turner) a special education teacher and later Methodist minister, and Dr. Tom Scott Talbert, Jr. a family physician. Genealogists have recently found that Talbert’s surname originates from a very early English colonial family that was forcibly deported to the Chesapeake Bay region in the mid-17^th century due to persecution for sloth and having “punch-able faces” that “doth look French.”

Talbert grew up in comfortable if isolated circumstances in Wichita Falls, Texas with a strict religious upbringing that his friends would later say turned him irreverent and somewhat bitter. After graduating from Southwestern University in 2004 he set about on a series of quixotic misadventures that left him with few friends and fewer dollars. Unsubstantiated rumors have persisted about Talbert’s activities during this time period, but he has refused to speak about this period publicly in depth, relating only one incoherent story:

“Those days are a blur to me.  At times I felt the energy the Universe expended for me to exist would have been better off powering a tiny choo-choo train full of funny overweight clowns just a few seconds faster in Hermann Park.  Then a Hummer Limo wouldn’t wreck into them and kill everyone involved, spraying clown guts and quincenera dresses like a bevy of breeched piñatas filled with human sadness.  I actually saw that very thing happen in 2007.  It was all my fault because I existed.  It was a damn tragedy—but very colorful.”

Talbert moved to Houston in 2005, earning his MBA from Rice University in 2010.  Found anywhere alcohol was served in those five years, Talbert was described by the Houston Press in 2008 as “an enigma wrapped in a mystery surrounded by a fog of shitty jokes.”

Career

In 2011, Talbert decided that he had had enough of the glamorous life of a Rice MBA and took a vow of celibacy to join the monks of Geeks Who Drink.  (Talbert was never informed that the vow of celibacy was unnecessary.) From his beginning apprenticeship as a lowly score-keeper, everyone who crossed paths with him agreed that this young man was full of promise, and a rising leader of Pub Quiz in Houston.

Popularity

This section needs expanding

Filmography

Aliens in the Attic, Big Trouble, Elf, Seeing Other People, New York Minute, Madagascar, Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa, Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted, My Boss's Daughter, Scary Movie 2, Cabin Boy, Frank McKlusky, C.I, Pootie Tang, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, Blades of Glory, Semi-Pro, Lenny the Wonder Dog, and Dr. T & the Women.

See Also

Andy Richter