414 Franklin Ave
Waco, TX 76701
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Captain’s Log: Stardate 9-13-12. Altitude: 31,000 ft. AA flight: 2324 to Chicago. NOTE: This blog entry is being typed on a keyboard the size of a postage stamp on a laptop smaller than the squares of toilet paper the Quiz Master uses to wipe his ass. The plan to write this week’s blog entry immediately after Geeks Who Drink at TRUELOVE fell thru when some unnamed people kept buying the Quiz Master drinks. That is the price you pay when your QM is more drink than geek. Economy class sucks balls, btw. Trying to type with my elbows tucked in and the asinine conversation about thyroid and hypothyroid diet plans by the couple next to me is neither as interesting nor necessary as they seem to think. So please excuse any typos or spelling errors. Two hours of sleep is just below the normal amount for any oxygen breathing creature as well.
It was a night that couldn’t be described in even the best of Stephen King novels. The night was overcast and muggy. A mist filled the air. A musk was also present…but more and that later. A huge 18-wheeler with a giant Green Goblin face circled the bar and Eric, one of TRUELOVE’s owners was killed by a rabid wafflemaker. Sadly, Emilio Estevez was not there to save us. And as those of who were there and survived learned, the Communists don’t know shit about cunnilingus. Yeah, it was that random as well. King couldn’t describe it because, let’s face it, Stephen King novels are all pretty overrated. However, in the time it’s taken me to write two paragraphs, King’s written three novels. Based on the law of averages, if you write 8 novels a day, every day for the last 40 years, chances are one or two of them will be good. Maybe even a movie or two. Worse case scenario, it’s something to make of over drinks and quizzing and drinking.
It was a scary night and so were the scores. When you have a team that finished third the very first time they came out to play posting a mere 5 points thru the first three rounds…the quiz was Cujo tough. It was just two weeks ago that TRUELOVE made the top 5 bars in the country…but if these scores keep up, we may lose our quiz scholarship at State College and have to go home and live on our parent’s couches. Ok, keep living on our parent’s couches. Top score tonight was a 72 from DVDA and 1 in the Mouth. Not your typical top score. As weak as that was, 2nd was almost 10 points behind with Team America 2: Sucks to be Lybia with 63. That was a single point better than The Cunning Stunts’ 62 for 3rd.
As you can imagine, there was really weird crap we learned tonight…here are some of my favorites:
Stephen King’s greatest novel turned movie….Chicago
The embattled nether regions of Nova Scotia are currently under the guidance of a UN Peacekeeping mission. If those damn Canucks just owned guns, this shit wouldn’t happen.
A “one-eyed Jack” is also a term used for when a pirate masturbates
Meher Baba, the Indian God-Man’s lifelong mantra was Karma Chameleon
You want shit in your country set straight? Call the mother-fucking Peace Corps!
Laura Bush was the first UNESCO ambassador, because she is white
The Pet Shop Boy have AIDS…or is it their music causes AIDS?
The most popular Fox News anchors: Ron Burgundy and Veronica Corningstone
Communist cunnilingus in El Caminos concern conservative countries covered with cum. Cwho gives a fuck?
The two white foods you can’t eat on Dr. Gott’s diet are of course, milk and bull semen. Really, that’s a good idea to follow no matter what diet you’re on. Especially the milk. That shit is gross.
A meat flavored candy necklace smells like a mixture of rotting hippo carcass, menthol and bad decisions. The stench will clear out an entire bar.
Top Team Name of the Night: While the scores weren’t great the team names were awesome tonight. Props to Team America 2: Sucks to be Lybia, DVDA and 1 in the Mouth, You Had Me at Meat Tornado, and The Cunning Stunts. But the prize this week goes to: A Ham Wallet Deposit.
Not Last Place: Darin Looks Like Rocky from Mask
Congrats to Winston for winning BOTH the email bonus question and the Facebook bonus question. The IRS will be contacting you soon.
Don’t forget to check out the TRUELOVE Geeks Who Drink Facebook page:
We’ll be doing an extra bonus question and it’s posted there every week – plus all the top scores, team names and photos.
Round three tonight was “C” is for Cookie…and other crap. “C” is also for Chicago and Costello, as in Elvis and The Imposters. I’m headed to one to see the other…and about two-dozen other awesome bands at Riotfest. I’ll tell Elvis you said “hi.”
Until next week, may your diet exclude milk and your cunnilingus be commie free!
Love on ya,