When I first began at The Highliner I had a few, simple conditions that would need to be met. None of them were unreasonable. I wanted free reign to making as many seaman jokes as I could, to be able to play I’m on a Boat at least 7 times a night and, simply, to have a salty old sailor with a hook for a hand glare at me while I ran my quiz. I’m so excited to say that I can finally call that last demand met. Somewhere between the entire round on Magic the Gathering and D&D and the audio round about Lord of the Rings, I think he decided he was going to try and strap a cannonball to my leg and drop me off his boat. I simply assume he was a boat, because what else would he be doing? He has a hook for a hand. The only place that’s socially acceptable is on a boat and at Disney World.

Hall of Shame

• Up – Being geography challenged is nothing new for teams at The Highliner, but I’m still going to call you out for calling Beirut a country. Might want to look at a map of the middle east sometime soon…
• Coming from Behind and TRUCK – So if there is one thing that Andrew Jackson isn’t, that would be short-lived. This is a motherfucker who let another man shoot him first a pistol duel because he is such a bad ass. He also stole that man’s wife after he off’d him. I didn’t make any of that up.
• Keelhaulers – Mike Tyson vs. Rocky would be worth watching.

Mad Props

• Up and Keelhaulers – I don’t normally put wrong answers here, but a version of Lord of the Rings with Sean Connery as Bilbo would be the greatest thing to ever happen on earth.
• Czech Yourself Before You Chech Yourself and Jumbo Dick Stamp – You both put up the best scores in R8, “Random Knowledge” with 11. It wasn’t enough, but it was impressive.
• Crumbles Under Pressure – You were the highest scoring team in R6, “19, 84 and 1984”, but two whole points. It pays to have a sports fan on your team apparently.

Bitchin’ Team Names

• Czech Yourself Before You Chech Yourself
• The George Bush Library for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too
• Jumbo Dick Stamp

One for the Slow Kids (‘Cause I Only Call You Retarded to your Face)

• R2, “I Hear It’s Nice This Time of Year”, Song 6 – You knew Gangsta’s Paradise was coming, you just didn’t know when. I’m almost surprised that no smart-ass wrote Amish Paradise instead.

Fuck You (‘Cause You Can’t Get Them All Right)

• R6, “19,84 and 1984”, Question 3 – Ok. Let’s work on this together. Old name for an element is Kalium which means it’s atomic symbol probably starts with the letter K. Which explains why Potassium has a K instead of a P for it’s atomic symbol. Context clues bitches!

Although you guys kept it close, The George Bush Library for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too, went wire-to-wire as your first place team. Crumbles Under Pressure secured the second spot. We had a tie for the “Thank God We Didn’t Come in Last” prize and in the world’s most epic, and by epic I mean riddled with irregularities, Rock, Paper Scissors contest, Up took home that prize. Stephen of Czech Yourself Before You Chech Yourself took him the Facebook free beer and Lee’or of The George Bush Library for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Want to Do Other Stuff Good Too won the email bonus prize with a pair of tickets to EMP next week. Remember to click the like button here and on our Facebook page so I can get you entered to win a free beer next week! Until then, cheers!

It’s been a long week to say the least. I woke up this morning, shit’s on fire everywhere, Boston has become a war-zone and is probably still under martial law and I still can’t figure out where I put my copy of Pokemon Red that I’ve had since 1997. I’m furious about that last part. I have a Level 100 Charizard god-dammit! A lot of horribly things are happening in the world, but let’s always remember what gets us by. Tiger Woods always chokes, Star Wars questions always rule and Bubba Sparxxxx is totally still alive to reprise Ms. New Booty.

Mad Props

• F@#K the NRA and My Teammates! – You sir are a Star Wars god amongst mere mortals! A perfect score in R7, “May the GLLLARRRGGGHHH Be With You”.
• Insert Witty Team Name Here – You won which is usually props enough, but a perfect 16 in R2, “Greed is Good” is still worthy of an extra shout-out.
• Pammer’s Posse – You guys claimed to be bad at this, but you still outscored everyone in R3, “Do You Hear that Train Coming?”.

Bitchin’ Team Names

• Tijuana Donkeyshow
• Choking Tiger, Hidden Woods

One for the Slow Kids (‘Cause I Only Call You Retarded to your Face)

• R4, “Holland, Oats and that One Group” Question 3 – Almost everyone in the bar knew the first names of both dudes. I didn’t realize so many of you were closet Hall and Oates fans. I know now since about half of you called the CallinOats hotline during the last scoring break.

Fuck You (‘Cause You Can’t Get Them All Right)

• R8, “Random Knowledge” Bonus Question – The words “gay rumors” and MLB “catcher” are insanely pun worthy, but the fact a dude had to run from the back of the bar to save your sorry asses from not remembering Mike Piazza is a damn shame. A+ for effort dude!

Three scores in the 80’s tonight, but that is to be expected when there are three 16 point rounds for you to abuse. Insert Witty Team Name Here went wire to wire as the top team and Tijuana Donkeyshow pulled out a hard fought second place. F@#K the NRA and My Teammates solo’d like a champ and took home the “Thank God I Didn’t Come in Last” prize. Amanda of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Woodstook home to coveted Geeks Who Drink shotglass as an email bonus prize and Cody of Screw You, We're From Texas nabbed the Facebook free beer. You too could win the Facebook free beer next week by clicking the like button on our Facebook page! Until next time, shalom.

There are a lot of things I’m not. Tonight we learned one of them is that I am definitely not Italian. I do clean up nice though. Tabitha and I classy-ed up the evening at Seattle’s favorite fisherman’s bar and while there was a distinct lack of sailors tonight, things were good and salty all night long. The Highliner was an appropriate venue for us. We were close to the docks and at least one of our teams slept with the fishes before the night was through. At least we know that everyone loves the “Big Pussy”. In fact, I counted approximately 27 wrong answers where teams simple wrote “Big Pussy”.

Hall of Shame

• Altos – I figured it was all downhill from the point you got 0 points on the multiple choice round.

Mad Props

• Goombas – You had a late game surge by scoring the highest score in R8, “Random Knowledge”. A little too late, but it was still pretty impressive.
• Take the Cannoli’s – Normally I don’t give props to the winning team, but you had the highest score in every single round except for R8 the whole night through. That’s dominance.

Bitchin’ Team Names

• Franky the Fister
• Take the Cannoli’s

There was no money given out at The Highliner. It was laundered through various tobacco, booze and adult entertainment businesses so that it’s entirely untraceable. That said, Take the Cannoli’s scored more points than anyone else and will likely need to amend some tax returns to reflect such things. I hope to see some of you on a Thursday night when we get to do our regular thing at The Highliner. Check out the Facebook page in case you want to tag yourself in the photos from the quiz and I’ll see you all real soon. Keep an eye on your horses.

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