Evening my quiz friends!

It’s nearing five in the am as I write you tonight’s recap, and even ten hours after the quiz, I still can’t get over a few things.  First, your wicked great scores from tonight!  Man, you guys were outstanding.  On many other nights, Three Times One Minus One’s 65 points would have been plenty to secure a win, but with four teams above 70 (including our winners at 81 points!) it was a brainy night at North by Northwest!  Whether it was words that begin and end the same, songs about stones, New Testament goodies or the movies of the aughts, you guys were all over it.  Great job!

Secondly, you guys knew way more about Jesus than I gave you credit for.  Shame on me, I suppose.  The scores in our religious-themed round were pretty great, and the round gave us a new appreciation for the saying “Carl is patient, Carl is kind.”  Hallelujah!

Finally, you can totally see Katie Holmes boobies in The Gift.  Boring movie, but totally worth the wait.  Them ta-tas are awesome enough to turn the most fey Scientologist into a straight man!  At least until she turns 33.  Then he will want Goose to be his wingman again.

As I mentioned earlier, the scores were great tonight, with Jon Stewart is Big in Botswana (and 50 Years Old Today) leading wire to wire for a two point win over upstarts UMLAUT, who ripped second place from Penis a Doodle Doo in the final round.  Very exciting!

We even had Canadians in the house!  That’s when you know you’re doing quiz right… even if you can only play the first 29 seconds of a Tragically Hip song.  

Thank for coming out tonight… hope to see you all again next Monday!

Greetings my lil’ quizzlings,

It was another fun-tabulous night of crab cakes, quizzing, booze and boner pills!  That’s right… we’re talking about erection medication tonight.  So have any of you guys actually tried any of those pills that end in –afil?  Because if you’re curious as to what they do and how they work, your always up for adventure/science experiment of a quizmaster can tell you!  No lie… I’ve taken all three of the big name boner pills before and can speak truths about how they work.  So if you’re curious, keep on reading.

About seven years ago, I was in a new relationship and was completely nervous about getting dirty with my lady, so my doctor gave me sample packs of Viagra, Levitra and Cialis to try, to see if it was something medical or just nerves.  Long story short, it was non-medical, so consider me relieved.  Once I’d figured that out, I was left with about 20 boner pills to play around with.  Yay!!!  Super erections!!!

The key thing that these pills do is open up your blood vessels to let more blood through to the parts of the body that need it.  And that includes your wiener.  About 20-30 minutes after you pop a “little blue homerun hitter,” you’ll start to notice some effects.  The first one I noticed was a sense of light-headedness.  You probably don’t want to be operating heavy machinery after you take one, and will also probably want to take it easy on the alcohol as well.

Once you end up all aroused in the bedroom, you will notice that you have the kind of erection that you haven’t seen since you were eighteen years old.  I’m talking about a hard-on that you could hammer a railroad spike with.  I’m not kidding at all.  This is obviously a great thing.  A nice side benefit of this medical miracle is that you’ll also end up with longer-lasting erection, too!  These pills actually do the things that those fake eXtenZe pills say they do.  Poor Jimmy Johnson.  He’s hocking boner snake oil. 

That sounds like a pretty great band name.

Now here comes the rub.  And I’m not even talking about the whole “if your erection lasts more than four hours” problem.  That never happened.  My key side effect was the crippling “Thunderclap Headache.”  Imagine the worst headache you’ve ever had in your life.  Now multiply that by 100.  Now imagine that headache coming one right as you’re climaxing.  Yeah… that happened.

I’m told it doesn’t happen to everyone.  But watch out, because if you’re susceptible to migraines, there’s a good chance this could happen to you as well.  As they always say in the commercials, please consult your physician!

Again, the stuff’s legit… but watch out for the side effects!

On to the quiz! 

It was another big win for the Freaks in their Monday night incarnation, Spoiler Alert: Lincoln Gets Shot!  After scoring 53 out of a possible 56 points in rounds one thru three, these guys were able to coast to the end with an eleven point win.  Their closest rivals all night were Sparkle Nuts, who took home the second place prize.  Team I’m All Out of Bubblegum made it close at the end, pulling within two points of a second place tie, but it wasn’t to be.  Hopefully you all had a great time!

That’s gonna do it for tonight.  I’ll see you all next Monday at 7:30!

Don’t believe me?  I submit this as evidence. 

Apparently some Diplodocids(Diplodoci? Diplodocusses?) used their tails to create sonic resonance as a way to communicate with their brother and sister creatures.  That’s right, sonic booms.  Just like your good friend Guile.  What?  You though just because he likes to hang out at the military base next to all those jet planes that he started the whole sonic boom thing?  You would be wrong.  And what about Ken and Ryu?  No, even the dinosaurs beat them to their vaunted hadouken attack!  Science may say that it was a rogue asteroid strike in the Yucatan that wiped out the dinosaurs, but I know better.  It was all those flying uppercuts and Baraka lightning attacks that did them in.  My new mission is to get this information into educational textbooks.

We had a great turnout for tonight’s quiz, my final one before the holidays, so I was pleased to see so many people turn out to enjoy the quiz!  From the beginning, it was a two horse race between perennial contenders What the Fuck Is a Snozberry? and the girl-power quartet from That's What She Said.  After each break, the girls would shave a point or two off of Snozberry’s lead, but they couldn’t finish the deal, as Snozberry held on for a two point win.  The good news for She Said?  They beat their rival team (That’s What He Said) by 15 points AND won $15 for their troubles!  Well done!

Thanks for coming out to enjoy the quiz tonight.  Now be safe and enjoy the holiday!

We’ll see you next week!

• The Royal Hilltop - Aurora 8:00 PM
• Darcy's Bistro & Pub - Denver 8:30 PM
• Prickly Pete's - Denver 8:00 PM
• The Whiskey Bar - Denver 7:00 PM
• The Cheeky Monk - Westminster 9:00 PM
• The Ram (Meridian) - Meridian 9:00 PM
• Lisa's Restaurant & Lounge - Augusta 7:30 PM
• Opal Divine's (Marina) - Austin 10:00 PM
• Opal Divine's (Penn Field) - Austin 10:00 PM