If you somehow missed the news- vaginas have super powers! I am not sure if they were delivered by aliens, like the red suit was delivered to Ralph Hinkley buutttt I did get to thinking about what other secret powers might be fabled out there about your favorite body part and mine. SO I went searching for stories about what the vagina is up to when it isn’t fighting off “legitimate” rape- here’s what I found!
There is the toothed vagina, or vaginal dentata.
Vaginas are good for growing things- if the stories can be believed (and why wouldn’t you believe them!?) a potato can be placed in the hoohah and continue to sprout and grow! A bushel of potatoes with the added benefit of holding up your uterus!
Penis Captivus- Vaginas can have kung fu grip!
And, turns out, the clitoris is hatching maniacal plots! If allowed to its own devices, it may continue to grow to gigantic size and cause instant death if a penis touches it! Fear not, countries all over the world are working diligently to purify their women and ensure that our lady parts stay a respectable size.
Sadly, you know what the vagina has no power over? Sweatbands and Neon. I guess even super heroes have to have dreams.
These va-jay-jays are pretty wild and crazy! Hope someone out there will figure out a way to get mine under control for me- not sure I can handle all this responsibility on my own!
This PSA brought to you by Geeks Who Drink- sometimes we are a little “expansive” when it comes to the penis categories, but on this Wednesday evening we offer you rounds on vaginas and boobs. Equality at last!
By the way, all super heroes need a little glam -