Joshua Tree Bar & Grill
256 Elm Street
Somerville, MA 02144
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What became of the rivalry between Superfriends and Dog in a Bathtub, you may be wondering? Well, neither team showed up last night, so we have two new winners! We actually had a tie for first place, but Pinky & the Brain left before the results were tallied so they forfeited their chance for a dance off. Why, oh why can't there be a dance off? Does no one love me? Am I not an entertaining, witty quizmistress? WAAAHHHH!!! I keep telling myself, someday, my dance off will come. But now I'm losing hope faster than a morbidly obese cat lady reading a copy of He's Just Not That Into You while crybating.* But I digress...
Clam Pickles took home first prize, and also the unofficial prize for Most Random Name, an award I made up. Eating Ice Cream with the Enemy took second, and they didn't even have to fake their death by drowning to excape an abusive husband to do so. Not too shabby! I spent some time discussing bad 70s folk dancing with the genuiniely charming members of Abortion: It Really Lets Your Inner Child Out and they have competition for Team Name Most Likely to Send You to Hell, another award I made up: Walking Talking Stephen Hawking. Alright!
Speaking of going to hell, my favorite round of the night was America's greatest News Source, where you had to choose whether the headline was from The Onion or Fox News. So beautiful! Trying to read lines like, "Chinese Woman Gives Birth to Sextuplets, Has One Week to Choose," without laughing was pretty difficult, but it looks like my place in hell is well-secured. I also enjoyed reading people's made up responses to the Random Knowledge question, "What four women starred in the 1994 western Bad Girls?" Although Team Name has a dreadfully boring team name, they came up with some entertaining answers: Barbara Bush, Beyonce, Susan Sarandon, and Queen Elizabeth II. Now there's a dream cast!
*crying while masturbating