Treff's Bar and Grill
520 Austin Avenue
Waco, TX 76701
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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Fuck you, County Fair; I'm not 7 anymore. I've seen how those rides are put together and know enough about physics to realize that it's not a matter of 'if' one of your carts on the Octopus will be sent careening into space, but 'when.' I understand that not everyone in this world is as clean and composed as myself and am fully aware that men have vomited, women have menstruated and children have urinated in your tiny, constricting 'buckets of fun.' I'll have no part in it.
Fuck you, County Fair; I'm not 16 anymore. I can no longer use the twistings and turnings of your lanes to lose the group of friends I was travelling with and meet up with a girl that my parents don't approve of behind the fun house for activities that my parents also would not approve of. I have a bed and a wife and all need for sneaky sex (or what have you) is gone.
Fuck you, County Fair; I'm not 21, 150 lbs and full of muscle, piss and vinegar anymore. I can no longer digest food with the stomach acids of a buzzard without strange and inexplicable repercussions later. Sure, that buffalo turkey leg looks fantastic, but the terrified trip to an unsuspecting stall that will inevitably follow seems to take some of the shine off of that diamond. Yes, that funnel cake would melt in my mouth, but it would also make my pants and wedding ring fit funny. The years of blissful ignorance have fled, leaving in their wake paranoia and horrible, horrible self-awareness.
And finally, fuck you County Fair, you ruined my quiz tonight. Well...you didn't actually ruin it. All told, we had very lovely time as the people that came tonight, so few as they were, were some of my favorites. Sure, we only had two teams and sure, those teams were incredibly unbalanced, but I would submit that the folks who decided that quizzing at Treff's Bar and Grill was a better bet than going to 'Ladies Night' at the County Fair are a cut above everyone else, meaning that we only had the best and the brightest tonight. The two person team Gainfully Unemployed, comprised of Ben and Melissa, did a fantastic job and was rewarded with 2nd place, but due to the aforementioned loss of quizzers, just tonight 2nd place meant last place as well. The rest of the crowd tonight went into Not Ben and Melissa, a team name meant to imply exclusivity. Victory was theirs and with a score of 81, I dare say they would have succeeded in winning had we had a full house as well.
All in all, a very, very nice night. I say we do this again soon. How about next week?
Be Excellent to Each Other.
Jarek Matthew Jones