Paddy Coyne's (Tacoma)
815 Pacific Avenue
Tacoma, WA 98402
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Scoretron: "Hey Holland, something came up and I won't be able to make it to the quiz."
Holland: That's cool, dude. I know we're BEST QUIZ VENUE IN THE NATION 2012, but in all reality it's the day before a major family holiday, so I don't think things will we busy at all."
Famous. Last. Words.
I am so happy you sixteen beautiful teams proved me wrong, but godDAMN. Last night reminded me of the old days, and I realized how pampered I am now. I might, probably not, but MIGHT...take Scoretron for granted. A little. His lack of presence is definitely noticed.
"Where the fuck is my pre-quiz hot towel? ...Oh yeah, Scoretron's not here."
"Why aren't my drink orders overlapping like I want? I NEED MY TWO DRINK MINIMUM. ...Oh yeah, Scoretron's not here."
"Hey, did you grab my wife's tits in the bathroom?" "What?! No! It was that guy over ther...Oh yeah, Scoretron's not here."
"Congratulations on another triple digit bar tab, Holland." "Pay the woman, Sco- ...Fuck. Uhhh, do you accept breast squeezes in leiu of cash?"
I think the players missed him, too. Whenever people contended an answer, Scoretron could nine times out of ten Rain Man that shit and put them in their place:
"Actually, in the 13th century, the UNDERCOATING of most war carapaces were copper, because it proved a more efficient weight-stability ratio. The bronze or leather was later added on TOP for aesthetic and secondary defence purposes."
Without him last night, people got me, the "Tom Cruise in Rain Man" response:
"Because I fucking said so. Next question."
So in short, we all love you Scoretron. Also, you can never go do anything social ever again. You belong to us now.
Despite the absence of our robot teddy bear, it was a damn good night. The teams fought fiercely, we had a lot of new people that I'm pretty sure converted to lifers, and we ended on a tie-breaker between our current winning streak team Pocket Rocket's Red Glare and one of the former champions Schlock, Spock, and 2 Steaming Egg Rolls. It was a tough battle, but Schlock, Spock, and 2 Steaming Egg Rolls emerged victorious, once again claiming their throne.
Everyone wanted a dance-off for the tie breaker which I said we can't do for first place (Geeks Ordinance 5, Sec. 3-B), so instead we settled for a post-quiz dance-off between Nick the Birthday Boy-Toy and our resident boogie expert The Reverend Colin. Y'know, just fer shits-n-giggles-n-shit.
It was pretty incredible, and basically turned into a dance party.
Because goddammit, that's just how we roll in Tacoma.
Thanks again to everyone who came out. It was the perfect beginning to what I know is going to be a phenomenal second year at the BEST QUIZ VENUE IN THE NATION 2012. Until next week, this in Holland saying, "Take it easy. Don't worry about it. I got this."