Yesterday, King Felix Hernandez threw the first perfect game in the 35 year history of Seattle Mariners baseball. That's 5,666 games thrown by Mariners starting pitchers, with only one perfect game. Now some quick back-of-the-napkin math shows me that last night marked our 62nd quiz at Rock Bottom. Let's use 20 as the average number of teams who have shown up each Wednesday, since it's a nice round number. That's 1,240 team efforts put forth so far, and not a perfect game to show for it. You guys have 4,426 to go... Don't let me down.

Why is it suddenly so important for me that one of you scores a perfect game? I'll tell you exactly why: Renton's very own Quizmaster Russel has launched a campaign of shameless self promotion that he is the Quizmaster of the Year. I'm not one for shameless self promotion*, but I'll be damned if I let something good happen to the city of Renton! I mean, yeah, if he were up against White Center, or Colfax, or Boise, or Oklahoma City, sure, I could get behind Renton. But not when Bellevue is in the mix. Bellevue actually possesses literacy! So let's get that perfect game before Renton does. Our reputation and pride are on the line here.

* - Yes, yes I absolutely am.

So to counter Russel's 6 point campaign for why he's the QMotY, here is my 7 point campaign for why I'm more deserving:

1. One-Upmanship: My campaign has 7 points! 7 is more than 6! Maths!
2. Sensitivity: My nipple has yet to make an appearance during quiz^. You're welcome.
3. Customer Focus: While nobody will accuse me of being a coordinated individual, I have a perfect record of NOT breaking glassware on the floor and interrupting the quiz to make Casey, Brittany, Chelsea, Jordan, or one of our other fantastic servers stop serving you beer and clean up my mess. I've considered gashing my foot open many times, but I haven't - because I want your beer to keep flowing! I DO THIS FOR YOU!
4. Consideration for Others: I haven't shown up to quiz in a dress. Again, you're welcome.
5. Dedication: For nine months I drove from West Seattle to Bellevue every Wednesday night to host the latest-starting quiz in the Seattle area, only to wake up the next morning on short sleep and go to my day job. Russel may drive further, but he's still home and in bed before Midnight. And I'm pretty sure he gets a gas stipend. And let's be honest, if you'd met his wife**, you'd realize that his being out of the house for that long two nights a week is a fucking vacation for him. 
6. Adoration: I don't need it. I DO THIS FOR YOU! 
7. Creating Jobs for America: I ran my quiz so fucking well that we created an additional job earlier this year. Not only that, I gave it to a soulless minority worker that I found through the "Hire a Ginger" NGO. 

^ - I'm getting this statement out of the way now, as I will assume no responsibility for what happens next week during my birthday quiz.

** - I haven't. I think he keeps her locked up in the boiler room.

So that's my campaign as of 12:04 p.m. on August 16. Remember, this isn't so I can win anything, it's so Bellevue won't get outdone by Renton. The same Renton which posted a high score in the 50s last night, and that was Quizmaster Lara playing by herself. My quizzers are among the smartest in the region (if not the country), you're dementedly sick and twisted (thank you for that!), and you're downright sexy to boot. I'm doing this to represent you!

Ok, back to last night's quiz. It was a relatively tame affair, with some of our top teams showing up undermanned (if at all), and that opened the door for it to quite literally be anyone's game at the end of the night. The top 3 were all within one point of each other, with Dear Mexico: Suck It. Love USA. taking 1st place and $50 to Rock Bottom, Felix Already Threw the Perfect Game When He Broke A-Rod's Hand nabbing second and $25, and Breaking News: The Only Problem Kathy Goertzen Couldn't Solve Was Her Own grabbing third, with some logo mugs and free beers.

Thanks to everyone who came out last night and made it a memorable Wednesday. I look forward to seeing you all next week for our Fantasy Football Draft and the inevitable shitshow that will be Brendan's birthday quiz!

Team Names I Liked (there were a lot this week):

• Dear Mexico: Suck It. Love USA.
• Felix Already Threw the Perfect Game when He Broke A-Rod's Hand
• Breaking News: The Only Problem Kathy Goertzen Couldn't Solve Was Her Own
• Your Pudge Makes You Approachable
• Dill Dough: Not Just Another Bun in the Oven
• All Hail King Felix: Long Live the King!
• Legal Smeagol and the Filthy Little Hobbitses
• Felix's Court

Weekly Housekeeping:

• Geeks Who Drink is expanding, and we're hiring! Can you work a room with your mad microphone skills? Are you smarter than the average bar crowd? Does the prospect of getting paid to drink free beer appeal to you? Do you have your own laptop and digital camera? If you answered yes to these questions, check out our Be a Quizmaster application.
• We have a Facebook page! Follow it to connect with your fellow quizzers, tag yourself in the week's pictures, and stay up to date on the latest news. Late starts for banquets, changing parking garage hours, etc. This is where you'll find the info on our upcoming Fantasy Football league! (once I post it later today...)
• Make your contributions to our collaborative playlist on Spotify!

• O'Brien's on Wilshire Irish Pub & Restaurant - Santa Monica 7:00 PM
• Brendan's 404 - Denver 7:30 PM
• Goosetown Tavern - Denver 7:00 PM
• The Mayor of Old Town - Fort Collins 8:00 PM
• Bruno's Tavern - New Orleans 7:00 PM
• White Horse Tavern - Allston 8:00 PM
• The First Printer - Cambridge 7:30 PM
• Costello's Tavern - Jamaica Plain 8:00 PM
• O'Niell's Pub - Albuquerque 8:00 PM
• O'Possum's Pub - Murfreesboro 8:00 PM
• Black Star Co-Op - Austin 8:00 PM
• El Mercado - Austin 7:30 PM
• Strange Brew - Austin 7:00 PM
• Zio Carlo Magnolia Brew Pub - Fort Worth 7:00 PM
• Piper Down - Salt Lake City 7:30 PM
• Quarter Lounge - Seattle 8:00 PM
• Capital Tap Haus - Madison 7:00 PM