West End Pub
1801 North Lamar St # 100
Dallas, TX 75202
Wednesdays: 8:00 PM
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We fought the war on my rack at the West End Pub, raising a cool $145 to fight breast cancer! Personally, I'll just keep invading the boobs until that fucker is dead.
On our journey, I asked a simple question: What pro-suferage group moderated the presidential debates before a commission was established? Several answered the KKK, which lead me to wonder- what might that look like?
And now, a presidential debate sponsored by the KKK, who is shockingly pro suffrage.
KKK- Mr. Romney, you’ve made your position on the wealthy very clear, but we’re curious how you feel about the blacks. As president, how would you address the black problem?
Romney: I read about the blacks once in an autobiography about them called The Help. It was such a weird book because my help is primarily Hispanic. Well, I consider the blacks part of the 47% of voters who wouldn’t vote for me anyway. Frankly, they probably aren’t listening to this. Hell, they can’t even afford televisions, am I right? So I would say that as part of my immigration and small business plan, we either deport them back to Africa or encourage more small business owners to give them minimum wage jobs.
KKK- Mr. Obama, same question.
Obama- <blink> <blink> <cricket sound> <blink> <sound of KKK moderator's neck being snapped>
In the fight against breast cancer, there was a clear winner. Cancer. Cancer won. That cancer’s name was We Support Swallowing to Prevent Breast Cancer. They missed 7 questions the entire night to wind up with a whopping 96 out of a possible 104 points. Holy crap, that’s gotta be some kind of record. And for their efforts, $135 goes into their poor little pockets.
But did they say goodbye to me after the quiz? No. No they did not. Did they drive back to Ft. Worth without giving me a chance to see their Frankentruck? Yes, yes they did. Am I bitter? Yes, yes I am.
A special thank you to our teams competing for the money tonight: They’re Real and They’re Spectacular, JWarr Leaves his job grading papers to come to the West End Pub and grade papers, Itty Bitty Titty Committee, Quizzed in my Pants, Evan Gays Love Fun Bags, and Uneven- the team of lovebirds who could not stop sucking face all night. That’s why I gave you the free beer dude. You clearly needed the most help. :)
Take out your planners, kids. Time for some announcements.